Wednesday, January 16, 2008

adopting siblings

Are siblings placed for adoption together? Absolutely! This is almost always the best thing for the children. Children in foster care have experienced loss and allowing siblings to remain together can help to maintain continuity and a sense of security in the children's lives. Siblings may be separated because one child has exceptional physical or emotional needs or because of other special circumstances.

What does the process look like? You can call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 to request a packet of information to be mailed to you. A follow-up call from an AdoptUsKids team in your state/territory will help you find a local adoption agency. Prospective parents must complete assessment and licensing requirements that vary from state to state and may include: a minimum age, verification of income to meet your expenses, a criminal record check at local, state and federal levels including finger printing (and no prior record of child abuse/neglect); a reference from a doctor (although prospective parents do not need to be in perfect health) and; letters of reference from an employer and others who know you. A typical application process would include the parent(s) attending an orientation and then following the steps listed above while attending free preparation classes (often about 40 hours spread over several weeks).

10 comments:

Faith M. said...

Our family is registered with AdoptUsKids and we recently made an inquiry on a child. The next day his profile was marked "On hold---reviewing homestudies." Is there any chance that we could be one of the families considered for him or should we assume we're out of the running? I know better than to get my hopes up especially this early on but I was just wondering whether there was any chance at all. Thank you for writing this blog. It's wonderful to have a place to ask questions and feel that there is someone who will take time to answer.

Anonymous said...

We have been registared on the site for over a year and have run into this at least a dozen times. It has always been our experience that the scenrio you are describing already had a placement chosen and they were just taking back up application in case something didn't work out. Hopefully yours will be different :) Good luck and keep up the faith.

Anonymous said...

We had the same experience. We have inquired and sent our homestudy several times with no response or acknowledgement. Then shortly afterward, the "on hold" comment appeared. Our experience is that most agencies do not want to deal with out of state situations. Maybe because the interstate process is so difficult, as well as arranging visitation. We've never received a response to any inquiry despite our previous adoption experience and glowing recommendations. Have you tried visiting Heart Gallery websites within your state?

Anonymous said...

When we were new to fostering and adoption this happened many times with us as well. What we learned through the process is that you need a good case worker to be on his/her toes and getting your profile in as soon as possible. Also, check the web sites daily for new children. At first, we started checking two times daily and would contact our case worker right away with all the information so the worker just had to get our family profile and fax it. We had luck doing it this way, but a lot of times there are more families looking than children available. Sometimes, the child already is in an available adoptive home, but the family is still considering whether or not to adopt the child; therefore they put the child on the websites. We were chosen one time out of over 300 profiles and now he is our son. Don't ever give up. Sometimes, we must wait awhile before seeing results, but if it's destiny it will happen! Our little guy came to us at 3 years old. Now, we have a little girl at 6 months old. Keep searching. Your child is out there!!!

Anonymous said...

We were approved to adopt a sibling group of 3. After about 30 Home Studies being sent out, in a matter of 10 months, our family was matched. We had searched for 2 or 3 children, on every adoption photolisting that we could find. Finally, we decided to try for just 1 child. We found a child on rainbowkids.com. We were matched, and it turned out that he also had a brother! We went to get them less than 2 months later! Praise the Lord! Don't be afraid to make a dozen inquiries at once. Learn about different special needs and you'll find that children are resiliant. It's amazing, how much can be overcome by a little love and attention! Each one of these children are a blessing!

Maagiclady said...

Usually when a child is placed on hold on adoptuskids, it is because they have finished accepting studies and are reviewing them for their staffing and family selection. If they do not have your study at that point, they are not considering family simplybased on clicking the inquiry button.

It is frustrating to families to not know if they are even being considered. That is why you should have a good worker or matching coordinator to be your voice and follow up for you.

Whenever you inquire on adoptuskids, you will get a response with instructions for submitting your study. Please get that information to your worker as soon as you are able and ask them to please forward your study to the recruiter or worker in whatever manner they are requesting: snail mail, email or fax. Once they have received it, then you know you will at least be considered based on the needs of the child.

My husband and I knew we wanted a sibling group of 2,3 and maybe even 4 children. We sent emails to our worker almost daily of children we wanted our study sent for, and she always sent them right away.

One day I found a sibling group of 7 children, and inquired for them. We never heard a word about them for months, until we got a call to get their rooms ready..we had been chosen for them.

They came from across the country, and most workers now are very open to out of state families, unless there is a court order or extenuating circumstance why the child should remain in their state.

Dont ever give up. You just never know what is around the next corner for you.

Just always remember,WORKERS FIND HOMES FOR CHILDREN, NOT CHILDREN FOR FAMILIES.

Keith said...

Would it be good if the adoption system was setup so that you could learn more about the children before you get selected? I favor keeping most of the kids' information private, which is most important. However, I usually don't learn more about the kids except their short profile, which doesn't reveal much. I don't know of a solution. If you've got a good adoption worker, you can get more information about kids, but many workers are very busy. It would be great when the agencies start having short video clips of all the kids, so you can know them at least a little better. I would also like to find a comprehensive list of how to make the waiting period shorter. I've been searching, waiting & inquiring about kids for 5 months, but it seems longer. It's disappointing when you feel close to being selected and then something happens to interrupt it.

Gilmore Family in Virginia said...

In reference to what Keith said... I understand the frustration - How can a family ,make a decision based on a picture and basic info. I think it's a good question to ask the reverse about us too... many agree that homestudies can not truly justify all the details that we are.
I have run into some county/state heart galleries-websites, that are adding voice to the picture's. I have really enjoyed hearing the child's voice. It made for a more dimensional profile. Some websites do have video footage, such as for those who were on Wednesday's child. I have teeter- tottered on whether it exploits the children. I can say that in the begining I was uneasy about viewing children online via photo's. I have warmed up to the idea and have realised through many conversations with Case workers that it has been a postive way to get these children into loving homes, and that is the point...right? I would agree that perhaps once you are "matched" with a child it would be nice to preview a video or audio tape with the child(ren) before you complete the leap into parenting them. However it is requesting a lot.... So, caseworkers, have to be photographer's and now photojournalists? LOL! It's pretty demanding however we and I mean all parties - are making a lifetime commitment! Just a thought...

Anonymous said...

I have adopted 4 children in the past.It has been about 7 years now and I and my husband are in the process again.I live in Pennsylvania and back in January I saw a sibling group.I contacted the worker and found out that they were available,but my paperwork was not.All of a sudden they were pulled and I contacted the worker who told me a family member had decided to adopt them.
Then in April they came up again, I again contacted the worker. They wanted to view my study. But it is still not ready. After emailing her back and forth I found out the respite family was taking them.
Why wouldn't these workers give my family a chance know that I was interested from back in January?
Is there anything I can do?

Anonymous said...

I think the above comment bears a lot of weight. We reviewed our homestudy and it was very bland...didn't really describe who we were nor anything in detail about us. In addition, some of the info was WRONG and it was pertinent info that I thought definatley mattered...such as educational level and medical experience. So, I think it is fair to say that it is possible to be "mis-matched" completely or not considered at ALL based upon the lack of detail in your homestudy. I have a copy of my homestudy and have sent it out only six times. Two times we did not get ANY response and later saw the "hold" but I made it my business to email/call the worker directly about the children. I introduce myself and of course, make certain they DO have my study and have a short but detailed discussion about our family and why we would be a good match for the children. I can honestly say that any interaction that I have had with a social worker from the AdoptUSKids site has been positive and 4 of the 6 have kept an ongoing dialog and were courteous enough to let us know if another family has been selected. Currently we have been notified that we will be recommended at an adoption committee as one of the selected families for a sibling group! We are so excited. The only thing I can say is that we have been and are praying for God's will to be done and trusting that he will match us perfectly with the children that need to be in our home.