Who can you contact if a child’s worker says they will not consider a prospective adoptive family outside of the child’s state or county of residence?
If a child’s narrative does not indicate that the child has a preference about location, then families outside of that state or county must be considered in order for the public agency that holds guardianship of the child to be in compliance with federal law. If you are aware of a worker who is telling you s/he will not or cannot consider out-of-state families or who might be interested in receiving training or information on how to achieve interstate placements, call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 with the child’s case number and tell us your story. When we talk to the worker, we can encourage the worker to move in the direction of considering out -of- state families. We’re glad to mediate and educate!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
61 comments:
Hi All
I was hoping to get a response from someone in PA as to whether an agency that is a SWAN affiliate is permitted to do out of state adoptions. I would also be interested in knowing if SSwan affiliates do not do out of state, the reasons for that. I was told by an agency I had previously been with that they were SWAN and could not do out of state. Of course, they also told me that they didnt have the time and resources to do any matching either. I would just really like to have that cleared up. I am more than satisfied with my current agency but think it would be an important consideration for anyone in PA looking for an agency to represent them.
Thanks
Chmae
Good morning.
I have adopted 4 children in the past and I am in the process of updating my homestudy.I also live in Pa.
I have always adopted through SWAN.In the past my agency never even spoke to me about out of state adoptions.
I left that agency and now I with another SWAN affiliate and they are willing to place a child with me who lives out of state if I choose to.
My worker also gave me a list of states that do the interstate compact,which means the adoption would cost me little or nothing.
I am happy with my new agency and glad I found them.They are opening new doors for me that my previous agency never thought of.
While waiting, I'm going to training, reading up, and talking to experienced adoptees, parents and workers. Passing along what I've heard:
Several people with experience have really encouraged looking for a match close to home. Their point: kids have already been through enough trauma that it would benefit them not to have to move too far. Living closer will make the transition visits easier, and also continuing visits with any positive connections in the child's life- relatives, friends, schools, former foster parents- that's a lot to lose at once. Having familiar people close may be helpful in times of stress for both parents and child(ren).
Out-of-state placement may work well sometimes, and indeed it may be that a kid from just over the line in a neighboring state is closer than some in your own state. It does seem there are often a lot of advantages for the child in finding a new family close to where they are.
My husband and I are licensed foster parents in PA and we are eager to adopt a child aged 4 or less. As an interracial couple we were told that there is a vital need for forever families for AA and biracial children. Recently we have learned that is not the case for PA. Our sw is not knowledgable on out-of-state adoptions. How can we have our homestudy viewed by other states?
I am interested in the last post as I also live in PA and we are an interracial couple.I am hoping that someone would answer this question and clear this up.
My family is also interested in caucausin children that are younger.
Hi All, Chmae here
First, of all, for all of you who are familiar with me, I would like to share the news that my sons from OR are now legally my sons!!!!
We celebrated last night with their favorite meal, take out pizza and a game of Monopoly.
I would like to respond to those who want to know how to have their home study sent out of state.
It should be a matter of just asking your worker to do so! I use many sites to view waiting children, AdoptUsKids, Adopt America ( which by the way receives with your permission a copy of your home study when you register and sends it to whoever you wish), Northwest Adoption Exchange and other individual state web sites. Most of the sites have a way in which to inquire for specific children and are much the same as this site, responding to your inquiry and sending you the information needed to forward your study. While I think most states allow a study to be forwarded to them by email/fax, some require that it be snail mailed to them. This is usually specified by the caseworker requesting the study.
When I do inquire for specific children and receive a request for my study, I call my worker and within a short time she sends the study. Or, if the child of interest has been generated from an email I have received from Adopt America, the volunteer worker who is assigned to me will send my study. Often times, since my adoption worker knows me as well as she does, she will call me and tell me she has gone ahead and sent my study to another state and give me a brief summary of the children in question.
I am not quite sure where all the confusion comes in with workers and ICPC. Having blogged on this site for some time now and seeing all the questions concerning ICPC I asked my worker if it was a lot of work or complicated to go through ICPC and she insists it is not. Basically, she stated there is a check list for adoption workers concerning any paperwork needed by ICPC and that when she has had questions or has not been sure about something, someone from that agency has always been available and helpful in answering her questions. She did admit it can be a little time consuming now and then, but for the most part a relatively simple process. I have a feeling that the paperwork and spending the extra time is what may in fact prevent other workers from doing out of state adoptions. I also know that when she does an out of state adoption, she is required by ICPC to have a contract in place with the sending state before the process is approved, however, again, she feels this is a relatively simple process. I am assuming the contract simply outlines what her responsibilities are, such as the sending states requirements on the number of supervisions she does in the home, as well as her insurance information, etc. Her attitude was that while it was "new" when she first started with ICPC, once she had done it several times it became rather routine and by just following the check list and keeping communications open with ICPC and the sending state, she does not find the process any more complicated than PA adoptions. Again, it may be a little more work, but not necessarily more complicated.
I would suggest that anyone who has a worker in any state that is not familiar with ICPC and out of state adoptions ask their worker if they would be willing to contact that agency and learn the process for themselves. If an agency or worker refuses to do so and you are willing to look out of state, I would suggest that it might be time to look for an agency that will in fact work for you and what you want.
I think to those who have commented on the wait for children in PA, that is just the way it works in PA. I feel like I wasted the first year or so of my search by attempting to adopt PA children and it wasnt until I went out of state that I received results and those were within 6 months or so of expanding my search. And, while I do have a PA child in my home and am adopting, that was sheerly an "accident". My adoption worker is also contracted for foster care with some PA counties and she had a child who was disrupted from an adoptive home and called to ask if I would be interested in doing foster care, at minimum. for this child and I agreed. He has been in my home for 8 months now and I am going to finalize within the next month or so. I hate to sound pessimistic, but I think if I was focused on PA and PA only, I would still be searching for children.
Oddly enough, the boy I am adopting was a child that previously, I had in fact inquired about with PAE and submitted my study but had never received a response from the same agency that is now thrilled that I am adopting him!! The only words I can use for that are "go figure!".
My adoption worker is very open and honest with me and since we have been working together for a couple of years now, I feel I have learned much from her. I truly dont believe that being an interracial family is a hinderance, but I do believe that it is possibly the age group that may make your wait much longer. I think that young children, regardless of race or sex, are the most sought after age group and the "competition" is tough. And, I dont think it is any big secret that most of the younger children, particularly those without medical issues or special needs are likely to be adopted by their foster families. And if those children are happy and stable in a foster home and the foster parents willing and able to adopt them, then the foster family should be given preference.
I recently went to the Ohio web site and viewed many younger chidren. Many of them , while still on the site, were listed as having an adoptive resource identified. Others specifically stated that the children did not qualify for a subsidy or medical assistance. Those that do have subsidy and medical assistance available have very special needs and issues. Still there are children in the younger age group available for adoption.
It can be hindering to spend a lot of time searching each states individual sites but in the long run it could very well pay off for someone with the time and dedication to do so. Also, question your worker and your agency. I know there have been times when my worker has simply stated that she is in this to see that children find families and families find children so a little extra work for her is not a big deal.
So while I dont want to sound as though I am harping, I feel it is highly beneficial to register with AdoptUsKids, Adopt America, etc as well as to question your agency. And, I cannot say enough about my worker and her agency and would suggest anyone in PA who is looking for an agency to call Sanctuary House of Chambersburg. My worker will work with any PA family regardless of location, she is really great at out of state placements and I guarantee she will do her best to help you bring your new children into your home.
Again, educate yourselves. There is information on ICPC regs and process on the internet. Research any questions you have and present them to your worker. In my opinion, a good worker will in fact find answers to your questions if he/she does not already know those answers.
We are an approved home for up to 4 children in Virginia. We have asked our home study to be sent to several Case workers out of state. We have found that most states although they may accept your home study (or say they do) do not place the child out of state, even with the Interstate Compact.
One case worker in Florida said to me that it would be an awfully long trip for kids to go from Florida to Virginia. WHAT? It has been very frustrating and sickening to us to see that children fly here from China, Russia, South America but to get a child from another state in the United States of America will take a miracle. We even spoke with DSS in Richmond and got conflicting information about our home study even being eligible out of state. Our Caseworker told us we could send it to any state.
While we (all prospective adoptive parents) have endured scrutiny to the ninth degree we are finding it difficult to even get CW's to respond that they even received our home study. We are now asking our Case worker to personally speak with each out of state caseworker so that we can track our home study and get some feedback as to whether we will even be considered. This is the most frustrating process we have ever dealt with. Our home was stamped with approval months ago and yet children are sitting in foster homes that could be building a life with us.
Saddened by the state of this system.
Here's my question! Come on has anyone ever adopted out of state through the Adopt Us Kids website??? Seems to me that every inquiry leads to no where!! It's the same result everytime! Nothing! I keep hearing how there are so many kids who need homes but nobody out there is very helpful at all when you try to get information. It's always a dead end! I can see now why these children remain in foster care!!!!
To the May 16th post
I sense a lot of anger and frustration in your post and am sorry for that. This can be a long. laborous and frustrating process.
To answer your question, I have adopted out of state and the boys were from the AdoptUsKids site, in fact they were featured children. The process from when I inquired until I was chosen did take a few months and it took about 8 months to finalize because OR was a little behind in paperwork. It was just recently that the adoption was finalized.
I will say I am often disappointed when no one responds to an inquiry but for the most part when I do inquire I at least receive an acknowledgement. My home study goes out to everyone who responds to my inquiry and the frustrating part is that seldom does anyone contact you unless you are a very real possibility for being chosen as the resource for the child.
Believe me I cannot say that I havent been very frustrated at times as in the past I have inquired about many children/sibs and for the most part feel like I was ignored. On the other hand, I have managed to make some contacts with caseworkers in other states than my own who liked my study but who felt for some reason I was not a good match to the child(ren). Since then a few of them have contacted me and asked if I was still interested in adopting and have given me information on other available children. Truth be told, I have actually been seriously considered for several sib groups from AdoptUsKids and decided that the issues they had or the combination of their issues with my own sons would not be a good match thus felt it would not be beneficial for anyone involved.
However, when I do get frustrated I put myself in check. For one thing, none of the caseworkers in question really know me so it cannot be "personal". Second, there are many, many reasons why a family may or may not be chosen and due to confidentiality, we are often not privy to those reasons. Unless you are being seriously considered as a resource for a particular child(ren) a caseworker is NOT going to release sensitive and very personal information to you.
Everyday, since I am still looking to add to my family, I spend a little time on the internet. I usually look everyday at AdoptUsKids as well as other web sites and I inquire on any children that from the limited information given I think may be a match to our family. I can honestly say that over the past 2 years I have inquired about over 200 children or sib groups. I do believe that I may receive more responses than others because of the various ages I am willing to consider and because I am willing to consider children with certain special needs. My past training, raising special needs bio children as well as my education being Psychology is probably a plus. It has allowed me to work for many years in the field with children who are labelled and I feel fortunate to have some special insight into some of the specific behavioral issues as well as MR and Autism.
I dont like that many children are aging out and sitting in the system longer than necessary, however, I am not in the position to make judgements as to why certain children are still in the system.
All I can add is that it does happen and if you hang in there long enough it will happen and when it does it is a wonderful, life altering experience. All the frustration and waiting goes away when I look at the faces of my sons. They are worth every day of the waiting and the work I put into the inquiries. I think I have said this before, but I am a true believer that what is meant to be will be and I can tell you from the day I met my sons and they came home, they fit in and it is as if they have always been a part of my family.
Hi. I’m Elizabeth Brescia, and I work with AdoptUsKids. If your homestudy is current, complete and approves you to adopt a child from foster care, here is how you can communicate with case workers for children in other states and send your homestudy to the children’s case workers so that you can be considered for children:
1) You can register with our website by going to https://www.adoptuskids.org/family/FamilyCaseRegistration.aspx and filling in the information requested.
Your complete email address will become your User ID.
You will choose your password while completing the registration form.
2) After you have completed the registration form, please wait three business days so that we can process your registration. (As long as we have received all of the information that we need, we will be able to process it.) Then, go to www.adoptuskids.org and log in to our website with your complete email address as your User ID and the password that you chose when you registered.
3) You will be taken to your part of the website where you can save information for your use. This is called "My Page." Select the left-hand-side link “Search by Name/State/Case #.” Enter the child's case number for any child whom you have seen on AdoptUsKids.org and you are interested in. You will do this for one sibling group or child at a time. Select "search."
4) When the child’s information is displayed, you will see an “Add to My List” button on the child’s information. Click on this button to add the child to your list of saved photolistings. On the information that appears, you will see a notes section and a “Make Inquiry” button. Click on this button, and an initial inquiry will be sent from your computer to the child's case worker. Also, you will see contact information for the agency who is working with the child.
5) Keep logging in to the website to check for a response from the child’s case worker. You will be able to read the response by clicking on the “responses to my inquiries” link. (You have to be on www.adoptuskids.org and logged in to see this.) The response from the case worker will tell you where to submit your homestudy so that you can be considered for the child. Then, use the case worker's contact information to follow up and learn more about the child.
6) Feel free to inquire about as many children as you are interested in. We recommend that you do not limit yourself to inquiring about only one child at a time if there are multiple children whom you are interested in.
If you have any questions, you can post on the blog again or you can contact me at info@adoptuskids.org or at 1-888-200-4005. If your case worker is registered with our website, then s/he can view the contact information for the children's case workers, too. If s/he is not registered, it is easy for professionals to register. S/he can post on the blog, email me, or call me about registering as a professional.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
Hi Kate,
we live in ohio.We can not take any children who have perped.This has been hard to find.If you would know anyone in PA., let me know.
Thanks Hally
Hi,
My name is Elizabeth Brescia, and I work with AdoptUsKids. Thank you for your interest in adoption! We need persistent, dedicated families like you. I’m sorry that the process has been so difficult, but I’m glad that you contacted us because we are here to help.
If you prefer to talk to me on the blog, could I have a little more information? Have you completed a homestudy which approves you to adopt a child from foster care, and classes to tell you more about children’s experiences in foster care? May I assist you with registering with www.adoptuskids.org? If you are already registered, I’d like to make sure that you are using our “Make Inquiry” button and that you are able to read responses from case workers directly on our website.
If it would be easier for you, please call me at 1-888-200-4005 x24 so that I can assist you. Over 9,000 children who were photolisted on AdoptUsKids.org have been placed in permanent families, and I want to help you to use AdoptUsKids.org, too.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth Brescia
AdoptUsKids
Dear Elizabeth,
I have been registered with Adopt Us Kids website for over a year a half now. I did all the things you listed and still they are all dead ends. I'm from Illinois and it seems that Illinois's process is much different then other states. They want you to be a Foster parent first. DCFS offices are impossible to deal with here!! Not helpful at all! Other states want to keep the children in their own states which is sometimes understandable because of family ties. Also, because they want them to stay in their current thearpy. I've been given all kinds of reasons and some states won't even talk to you if your from another state. It's almost like you are from a different country! We went to Russia for our first adoption 5years ago and people then were asking us why we didn't adopt here in the states with all the children in foster care. I wished I had had this experience with trying to work with the system here to answer them with "it's impossible to adopt here"! Not to mention very frustrating and draining. Who has the time to spend on endless phone calls that lead to no where because everyone wants to pass you to the next person. The system is broke and until someone fixes it these children will stay in Foster Care. Maybe the U.S. should go back to having orphanages? Seems to me the children that are in good orphanages in other countries are healthier because they are not going from home to home to home. Too many changes are worse then being in a structured orphange. We have two healthy kids from Russia to prove it! I feel sorry for these children here who get shuffled around for one reason or the other. Having orphagages would probably move these children to adopted homes faster if they didn't make it so difficult to adopt out of state. We have a completed homestudy and could provide a good home for a child and the system has frustrated me to the point of thinking it's time to give up!
I am working with a SWAN agency in Pennsylvania (private, non-profit agency), and all through our classes last fall, we were told we could consider kids from other states, but that the cost and process were like a private adoption whereas if we adopted from Pennsylvania's foster care system most costs would be covered. We were told that these costs would only kick in if we were matched with an out of state child and decided to adopt him. As soon as we had an approved homestudy (end of February 2008), I registered with AdoptUSKids, and they called our worker to confirm that we were approved. I saw a child from South Carolina in Mid-March who touched my heart and did an Inquiry. I got a reply with where the homestudy should be sent. I asked my worker to send it, and she said that she couldn't send it out of state at all unless we paid the agency $2500 for it because our agency hasn't been paid by Pennsylvania for our study. She said that it was very time-consuming to adopt out of state anyway so I should really just keep looking in-state. I asked what would be included in the $2500, and she said just the homestudy. If we wanted them to represent us in the adoption process, they would provide support to us on a fee for service basis. On April 1, I called the child's worker in SC myself to ask if the child were indeed still available before considering purchasing our homestudy from the agency. I left a detailed message about why I was calling, but he never called me back. I assumed the boy was already matched (he is a 9 year old caucasian boy who had been listed on AdoptUSKids for at least 6 months so this seemed as if it might be likely). Three weeks later, the boy's profile was updated with a new picture and text so apparently he wasn't matched yet (at least on April 19). I am wondering what my next move should be. Within PA our worker has inquired about every waiting boy in our age range (7 to 10), and we are waiting for information on a couple of them, but the ones who we have been given details about have had issues we are not prepared to deal with. Should I try to pursue the SC boy or any other out-of-state child? If I do, can the worker for the child look at the detailed information that I posted on the AdoptUSKids sight and at least see if we would be considered for him? I can't see buying the homestudy if there is no chance of being considered...
Sandi
My suggestion would be to change agencies. I was stuck where you are at one time and changing agencies was the best move I have ever made. I "wasted" almost 18 months waiting to hear from someone in PA about any child and didnt.
The 2500.00 fee your agency is requesting is the exact fee that they are paid for a PA homestudy by SWAN. There are also other fees paid by SWAN, such as supervision by your adoption worker, that I assume they want you to pay out of pocket if you adopt out of state.
I would very much disagree that it is a long, involved process to do an out of state adoption. I have adopted out of state and just finalized. The entire process took less than a year and my boys have been in my home for 8 months!!
Many states do what is called POS, Purchase of Service. I am not an expert in this but understand it covers the expenses for your worker to do your supervisions, etc. Honestly, I am not sure if that covers the fee for home studies or if the home study fee is reimbursed after finalization by the sending state. But they actually purchase the services of your adoption worker in your state. I know that my worker accepts most states fees.
Most states reimburse most adoption related expenses, including travel and legal, but each state has a limit on the amount they will reimburse. If memory serves me correctly, I have seen states that will reimburse up to 2500.00 in expenses and a low of 1000.00 and those amounts are per child.
Again, I would encourage you to consider changing agencies. Trainings can be transfered, clearances can be used as long as they are current, thus it should not be a long involved process to switch to another agency. (And, again, I would suggest that anyone interested in switching agencies and doing out of state adoption to call Sanctuary House of Chambersburg.) My adoption worker will represent anyone anywhere within the state of PA. It truly doesnt take that long to switch agencies and have a new home study done so it can be sent out to any state. And, as sad as it is to say, in the long run, even switching agencies will be quicker than receiving a response in PA. Also, once the new home study is completed, you can register with Adopt America and your home study will be sent to them and they will submit the study to any worker who has a child in which you might be interested.
I had just commented the other day that it seems as if PA isnt only slow in placing the PA children but with the way SWAN is set up, it also deters people from adopting out of state, thus preventing children outside of PA from finding homes. However, I do understand why the state funds provided by SWAN are not to be used for children who are not from PA. If you want to be parents and can provide the love and attention to a child or children, there are thousands of children across the US that also need homes, not just here in PA. Dont limit yourself to PA or you may never find a child. At least call my agency and talk with my worker and consider what she may have to offer you vs what you are getting now.
Chmae
I live in Pa and I have gotten responses from several workers about Pa children.I have also contacted some out of state workers and have gotten back a few responses.I think my agency will do out of state placements,but I would also like to talk to the agency in Chambersburg but I live in the Hershey-Hummelstown area so they may not be able to work with me.
My difficult situation is that i would like to do a trans acial adoption either out or in state.I think anyway I do it it will be difficult but out of sate will be the hardest to do.
After reading the post I think if anybody could do it Santuary House can.
Anyone with any feedback on this?
Hi All
Sanctuary House will work with any family within the state of PA. I can tell you that I know that the Hershey area would not be a problem for the adoption worker.
I cannot say enough that my experience is that if you have an adoption worker who knows ICPC as mine does, out of state adoptions are no more involved nor do they take a lot more time than in state adoptions. In fact, I have talked to families who have adopted in PA and neighboring states and they have been required to do several pre-placement visits. It appears that when you do a state some distance from your home state, the visits are less and the process may go even faster.
When I visited my boys in OR I was there for a total of 5 days and when I returned to PA they came home with me. Now it might be that not every state does this but I did one visit. There were phone calls, emails and letters previous to that, but just one visit.
I would not like to think that a trans-racial adoption would be difficult in any situation, regardless of state. I think that one of the reasons I love my adoption worker is her attitude. I'm a little older and a single mom and kept being told by my other agency that caseworkers wouldnt consider me for younger children or for a sib group because of that. When I first contacted Sanctuary House and repeated this my worker was like "what?' and "why couldnt you?". She has never suggested that I do or dont accept a child nor questioned my judgement when inquiring about children. The only comment I have ever had from her was "Are you sure?" I responded "yes" and that was the end of it.
I will say she has been very honest and up front with me and let me know right from the beginning if I wanted much younger children that my age might play a role with some workers and since younger children are in high demand that the wait would be longer but she has never discouraged me from my own preferences.
Maybe part of the problem with some other agencies is that they are aware that older children, single children, males and children who have more severe needs are quicker to be placed and less time consuming for the worker to locate and match. When I had mentioned to her wanting a girl in the future she informed me that girls are in high demand and the wait might be long. I think what I also really like is that once you get to know her, you realize that she is not in this business for any other reason than to match children with families. It is what she enjoys doing and does very well.
Call information for Chambersburg and give Sanctuary House a call. I think you will be pleased that you did.
Chmae
I am a state foster parent. We currently have an eleven year old girl, that is up for adoption. My best friend, a foster parent in another state, has met this child a couple of times.She wants to adopt this child. We were told no, that this child's worker has "hand picked" a single mother of her choice. I'm not saying that my friend should be chosen over other's.....but shouldnt all interested families be considered?
I see a lot of frustration here. I searched for 2 years looking for a child age 5-11. I finally adopted the 11 year old of my dreams. I never got much response from out of state. I don't think it's adoptuskids fault. The truth is, I had trouble with socail workers outside my own county, let alone out of state! In my short 3 year experience, I've found the social workers to be VERY young and green or VERY wore out. I'm not sure what the root of the problem is, but I agree that it's hard to find a socail worker who will accept the family. Kind of like "no boy is good enough for my daughter". I sort of think that's how it is with young, green, wore out social workers matching children with families.
Hi All, I recently joined teh AdoptUsKids, only because I was just recently told I could do this. I have been with the City of St.Louis DFS for 3 years and I have only been in one staffing. They say they do not have Foster to Adopt parents, but it seems that the Foster Parents are asked if they want to adopt and then that is that. Even one of the lawyers for the City asked why I was not a Foster Parent, because that is how the younger children get adopted. When I looked into switching to the Foster side, I of course got all the horror stories from the case worker. After thinking what I wanted my outcome to be I decided to stay on the adoption side of the field. I have put interest in a sibiling group out of state. The case worker did reply and ask that I ask my case worker to send my home study to them. I have also put interest in a child in my state but on the other side. I guess I feel empowered right now because I am now able to be more proactive in my search. Just wish all the states followed the same Foster, Foster to Adopt or only Adopt rules. Gets very frustrating when you don't get feedback and feel like there is no one to answer quetions. I love this blog and will be back often. Thanks
Hi there,
Sorry to jump in, in the middle of a conversation but I see you guys have mentioned a couple of times, AdoptAmerica for photolistings of waiting children. I seem to be having trouble finding this website and photolisting and wondered if one of you would mind telling me how to get there.
Many thanks and best wishes to you all on your adoption journeys.
I find Adopt America by just doing a search for Adopt America Network. I cant post the exact web address as it is not permitted on this site. They dont have an extensive photolisting but once you are registered with them you get many emails with available children, a narrative and photos. You can then let the specialist assigned to you forward your home study for any children you may be interested in. Since registering with Adopt America I have received so many emails and I know my study has been submitted numerous times. It is a wonderful way to get your name out there and search for kids. Most are volunteers who have adopted and been thru the process and want nothing more than to assist others in their search for children.
Hi, We are new to this site and would like to get a response from people who have been using this site for awhile. Which states tend to have workers that respond/communicate well? Which states do you avoid? Thanks a lot in advance! Jenna
Thankyou for the information on Adopt America. I managed to get to the site with your help.
Hi Jenna
I can only tell you what my personal experiences have been. I live in PA and seldom, if ever, do I bother to look at PA children. I sometimes feel guilty for that but in the past nothing has ever happened with this state. My two sons are from Oregon and I have had a wonderful experience with that state. The caseworkers were great and I thought their process was timely and relatively simple. I have found I receive quick responses from OR as I am looking currently for more children to add to our family. I have found NJ to be responsive as well as Washington. OR and WA kids have listings on the Northwest Adoption Exchange also. The one thing I do not care for with NJ but can live with and do understand why they do it, is that if you submit a home study for a specific child you cannot submit for another child unless you have been eliminated as a choice or you withdraw from the other child. I have also had several responses back from Florida. Texas hasnt been bad with responses also.
I have never had much luck with California but know others who have.
I can honestly say that I have pretty much always received responses on AdoptUsKids when I inquire but more often than not it is simply a response to send my home study and then not much more after that.
I dont know that it is the state in particular or if it is the child(ren) you are interested in. Again, girls are in high demand, children with minimal issues and younger children also. Quite honestly, I am past the point where I worry or fret over not receiving responses. I have many, many inquiries in many different states and eventually someone does get back to me from somewhere. It is the nature of the process, no matter how frustrating and something we all just have to tolerate until changes are made to the system. The best advise I can offer is to just search and inquire about every and any child that interests you regardless of the state. Over the past 2 1/2 - 3 years I have probably inquired on over 300 children/sib groups. I have adopted 3 and on several ocassions have been chosen but the placement has fallen apart but not as my fault. I had one situation where at the last minute the famiy that adopted the other sibs decided to take the two I was in line for also and that was great for the kids. I have turned down children that I either did not feel I was equipped to deal with or felt would not be a fit for the family already in place. I have a wide range of preferences for children, ages and issues that I am willing to consider and I believe that helps me as well.
I had posted earlier today about the proposal by Senator Grassley that will increase federal funding for adoption/foster care and that may encourage workers to begin placing children in a more timely fashion. Everyone should research this adoption improvement proposal and write your senators to support it.
Good luck in your search and remember to hang in there and not give up. The kids need families.
Hello I have a nice experinces with state of Ohio.I been a foster parent for over 10 years now.I adopted two special need children with CP.I have a question maybe someone can help me.Now how long do you have to wait to adopted other children.Some people say 6months to a year.Now these children been in my home for over two years and my little one whos three adoption was finalize in May,I want to adopted two children who are more active and can do more for themselves. Can anyone help me here.
I was searching for children to add to my family long before my boys were finalized. I started the process because I know how long it takes and figured they would be finalized before I would find my other children. That has been true. I wouldnt allow too much time to pass as the wait, as we all know, can be horrendous.
At this point in time, the only experience I have had is CA told my caseworker they would consider my home study after my boys were finalized and not until then. I have not had any issues with other states concerning this situation. I dont know that there are any set mandates or regulations concerning this. It may be that it is a decision made by the caseworkers of the children on an individual basis but I know of no law that states you have to wait a certain period of time. I think it may also depend on your adoption agency/worker. I have known for a long time and my worker as well that I wanted a minimum of 5 children in the family and she has always been supportive of that. She is confident that I will not get in over my head and supports that decision.
I have also been very straight with my children that I wanted at some point in time to give them brothers/sisters and I keep them advised as I go through the process again. I ask periodically if they would prefer sisters, brothers, older kids, younger kids, etc just to give them some control in the situation.
I would suggest you talk with your adoption worker for more information and if you want and are capable of adding more children to your lives that you begin looking again. Even if there is a year waiting period, by the time you inquire, get selected and bring your new children into your family, that year will probably have passed.
We were told that we had to wait to finalize our daughter's adoption before we could search for more children, however, I have had our case worker submit our Homestudy this last few weeks and she hasn't mentioned finalizing again. We are in the process of finalizing now.
She did say that even though our Homestudy is valid until November, that we would have to do it all again as we now have a daughter that will also need to be interviewed etc. Our daughter is 5 years old, has anyone else had to re-do the Homestudy and have their children interviwed at such a young age? The only part of the Homestudy that we wouldn't have to re-do is the training.
Hope that helps.
My wife and I live in Maryland which has one of the highest costs of living in the country. We would love to expand our family even further through adoption. We currently have 3 children (2 biological & 1 adopted). We've loved our adoption experience but it was through our state. From what I understand, Maryland has a higher subsidy rate than some states because of our higher cost of living. It isn't enough to consider an "income" but it definitely helps with the costs of rearing a child.
How does adoption subsidy work if you are adopting a child from another state. Would you receive the subsidy amount for the state you live in or the state the child is from. If it is from the state the child is from, how do you go about finding out what the amount is.
Hi all
I really am not sure about your home study needing to be done over again. It might be agency policy or policy in your state. I know when I finalized my worker simply did an addendum to my current study, just as she simply updates my study on a yearly basis. It seems like she is in my home for one reason or the other quite often and we talk at least on a weekly basis, if not much more, so I would assume that all of my information is current with her. Of course, it also involves updated child abuse clearances, criminal histories and fingerprints. Bringing more children into the family is an on going topic in my home so am sure that at some point in time she has listened and talked with my sons about this possibility thus knows their views on the matter but she has never formally interviewed them. I would think the interview with a 5 yr old wouldnt amount to much more than asking the child if she is happy and would like more kids/brothers/sisters. I dont know how much more a child that age could understand or say about the subject. I would think that as long as your home study is still current that an addendum could be done that simply includes your new daughter. As far as trainings, again, I think that may depend on the agency and states regs. I you have the time you can probably do a search for your state and read the regs for yourself just to be sure.
Concerning adoption subsidy. One can go to the NACAC site and they have a fact sheet as well as a summary sheet for every state in the US. I would not say the summary is not accurate but would not totally base everything on the amounts listed. I know that dealing with an out of state adoption that they were very willing to negotiate so that the subsidy rate I am receiving is equal to the foster care rate I would have received in my state/county. PA is very different in that each county has it own rates and quite honestly there is a huge discrepancy between counties at times. I have heard that Ohio has a lower rate than most but is willing to negotiate based on the needs of the child. I was recently told by someone adopting thru Florida that state will not negotiate and what they offer is what you have to take if you want to adopt the child. I have also heard that Texas isnt a state that negotiates very well. Again, this is from speaking with others, not personal experience.
I think subsidy is a very "touchy" subject for most of us. When I was negotiating with my boys home state I had many feelings of guilt, as though I was buying my children or "in it for the money". I and a friend have actually had people make that statement. At times I still feel a little guilty at seemingly putting a price on the kids in question but that is not at all that it is. I think there are few people out there who could easily afford to take on new children in the family without some time of financial support. Also, I am sure if the people out there making negative remarks about the subsidy- well- if the money being paid to you was child support by an absent parent, would tell you that it wasnt enough to raise a child!!! I have to believe that most all parents use the subsidy to benefit the child they are adopting. I also keep in mind that it costs the county/state much more to keep a child in care than it does to pay out a subsidy for a permanent home and the permanent home is what is best for the children anyway. Another justification that I use and that is quite true, if you adopt children that require many appointments, for whatever reason, with the cost of gas as it is, something has to give. My son is going to a summer session for school this summer and there is no school transportation and it means transporting him myself 4 days a week, about 320 miles per week and in a mini van that can be costly. It is optional school and I dont have to send him but it is for his benefit thus his subsidy money will be very helpful in this manner as well as other ways in which it helps to improve his life. There are many expenses we would not have in our life if not for adopting the children. We all have to remember that the subsidy is to ASSIST in the support and should not be expected to totally support a child(ren).
Again, this would be another great subject for discussion on the blog. Adoption subsidy, how people feel about it and the way they have handled their own situation. It seems odd that I would guess that no one has ever felt or been made feel guilty for taking foster care payments but do feel that way for adoption. I would doubt many single parents have ever felt guilty about accepting support payments either.
I would appreciate any feed back from any state reps or any others concerning their thoughts on subsidy and the experiences they have had. I love learning from all of you.
Two of my sons were listed on Adoptuskids. That was in the era when social workers worked. There was an earlier comment that the commenter couldn't find fault with kids being stuck in the system. I am not fault assesment impaired. If the lazy wads won't respond to inquires, and do hold biases against interstate placements, the kid will probably rot, that is child abuse. Only the worker can help the child get out of the system, bad worker, bad future.
I do think there is a real problem with bias against interstate placements by workers. No, it isn't OK per federal law, but there also isn't anything the family can do when it happends, naturally, the worker will cite something else as the reason if pressed. A thought, when Adoptuskids lists kids, keep track of inquiries from the family to you about inability to get a response, and when a praticular worker seems to not make contact most of the time, black list the worker, and let their state know why. Betcha there would be an interesting change in worker behaviour. Sure would be a wonderful break for kids stuck with a deadhead worker.
One area that folks may not be aware of is the actual ICPC clearance. Both the placing and recieving states must give an OK. The problem is that in most states this is a person who does nothing else, it is usually a bottleneck, and gives that person great authority. It may well delay start of visitation for no good reason. In CA, where few adoption things are done well, we do have a great system. The head of each private agency is the ICPC for CA for that agency, reuslt, one day for clearance. Fifedoms stink.
Once you have the kid home, there is no further ICPC issue. Finalization can be in your state of the child's state.
I live in Delaware and we are trying to foster/adopt. Does anyone have any recommendations?
Hi, my name is Mary Lou Edgar and I am part of the Recruitment Response Team for the State of Delaware. I am going to try and answer your question regarding fost/adopt placements. I am an adoptive parent and I also work for an adoption agency.
What I am learning is that many people in DE have some confusion about what fost/adopt actually means. So it would important to determine what it means before we determined how to do it in this state. If you mean a fost/adopt where the child is in foster care and the foster parents end up adopting the child, that is the traditional view of fost/adopt and is very doable in DE. You call the Division of Family Services (DFS) and ask to speak with a worker who can help you learn about becoming a foster parent. Once you complete the DFS training, you can be a foster parent and a child could be placed with you. When a child comes into your home, you will be a traditional foster parent. You will work with birth families while being responsible for providing what the child needs. It is important to remember that when children come into foster care, the first plan is always (unless there are really bizarre cirumstances) reunification. If, after a period of time (we like to think 15 of the last 22 months but we don't really see that very often)the goal is changed to adoption, you, as the foster parent, may be asked if you would like to adopt this child. As the foster parent, you know the child and the child is secure in your home. So, you may move to adoption.
In DE it appears that more and more people are looking at legal risk adoption and calling that fost/adopt. What legal risk means is that the child's goal has been changed to adoption but there is no termination of parental rights (TPR)so it is a legal risk placement. If the foster parents do not want to adopt (and many don't), the state begins to seek a home for the child with a family who can tolerate the ambivalence of not having the TPR in place. Since adoption in Delaware must be done with the assistance of a licensed adoption agency (it is illegal to do it otherwise), the state asks the private agencies with whom it has contracts if they have families who might be interested in this type of placement. Families have begun calling this fost/adopt but actually it is legal risk. In order to have a child placed in your home who is legal risk, you must have a completed home study from a licensed agency. The agencies in DE are listed on the website map and you could call any one of them for more information.
So, in summary, if you are interested in doing foster care with the idea that if the child becomes available for adoption, you would adopt, call DFS. If you are intersted in legal risk, call a private agency. Or, you can call me and we'll chat about this whole thing. Thanks and good luck!
Hello,
My name is Angela VanHoose and I am with the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services. Our agency/state does not have a policy regarding the length of time a family must wait to adopt again. We do have a requirement that each adoption agency specify in their adoption plan the length of time a family must wait. You will need to work with your adoption agency to determine their policy.
Thank you,
Angela
Hi John B.,
My name is Elizabeth Brescia, and I work with AdoptUsKids. I am so glad to hear that you found your two sons on AdoptUsKids.org! Thank you for telling us. And thank you for sharing your insight and experience about ICPC.
You asked why there isn’t a way to track when families say that interstate adoptions have been prevented or that barriers to interstate adoption have been created by case workers. I’m glad that you asked because, actually, we do have a log of interstate adoption barrier complaints. We do not track this on the website, as you suggested. We track it in a method located in our files, but not on our website. (At the time when they first call or email to report a problem, not all families feel prepared to share the full situation with everyone reading the AdoptUsKids.org website.)
If you suspect that you were not considered for a child because the child lives in a different state than you do, then please call me at 1-888-200-4005. In addition to connecting you to someone who will try to help, I would like to record this information because we want to look for patterns. Searching for patterns is an important way to be proactive on behalf of families. If your family is already complete, and you are not searching for children anymore, but you know people who are, please pass this information on to them, too. And, again, thank you for asking about this on the blog. Now, everyone reading the blog will know about this resource, too.
Thank you,
Elizabeth Brescia
The Collaboration to AdoptUsKids
Hi Elizabeth
I am delighted to hear that you do tracking to address workers that don't respond or who clearly want no part of interstate placement. My four were from The CAP Book (yes, I am dating myself), NWAE, and the last two from Adoptuskids. All four writeups were accurate in what they presented. The only trick is to remember that they are written in socialworkerese, a strange language spoken by people who have staffings and not staff meetings.
I have shared my frustration with workers who don't communicate. Time to eat some crow. I finally made contact with the supervisor of the worker of a child I was interested in. A sad story and one I did not expect. The child is in residential treatment, and a long way from leaving. He endured a lot of abuse, was abandoned and has tremendous anger, all of which is justified. He is listed because that state requires all children who have a plan of adoption to be listed, even when avalability is a long way off. I can see where returning those calls would be extra work not likely to lead to anything. She was kind to take the time to talk to me. I wish he was further along, he really sounds like a child that would fit well in our family.
I am aware that all children need to be listed regardless of the length of time it may take before they are ready for placement. In these situations, isnt there a way without breeching any kind of confidentiality that caseworkers could add that fact to the narratives? It doesnt seem to be an issue to let people know that TPR hasnt been done as yet thus letting us know that placement may be in the future and not immediate. How about "placement pending further evaluation" or "needs of the child being evaluated for future placement"? It would seem to me that once all of us became familiar with the terms we would then assume that this is a child who is not yet ready to be placed so any interested parties could email the worker and let him/her know that when the time is right, they would be interested. Under those circumstances, it would seem that we wouldnt be expecting an immediate response and the caseworker would not feel a need to respond immediately. Possibly it would be against requirements to post in such a manner or possibly is it just too simple of a solution? I am all for making life easier and better for the caseworkers as it means their caseloads arent overwhelming and they are more receptive to inquiries. A simple FP (meaning future placement) could easily be added to the adoption vocab and eliminate many questions and frustrations.
We are in MN and have had an approved homestudy since Feb 08 to adopt 1-2 girls age 9-14. As we were completing our homestudy we became interested in a sibling group in SC that we found on adoptuskids. In Feb we finally found out that the parental rights for the girls haven't been terminated yet. They have been on the adoptuskids site since fall 2007 and it is now June 2008 and the parental rights still haven't been terminated yet and the adoption worker said that they do not know when it will be. We are wondering, why are kids listed so long on the photolisting before the parental rights are terminated? And why not indicate (as a few narratives do) that the parental rights haven't been terminated? We have inquired about several children only to find out from our sw that they can't be considered for out of state since the parents rights haven't been terminated yet. The lack of including the information on the child's narrative really slows down the searching process and frustrates the prospective adopive families.
What if you have gotten licensed thru an agency that will only consider children in you state to send your homestudy to? They tell you the only way they will send out your homestudy to other state's is if you PAY them $1450 for the homestudy. I don't have that kind of money and I think that it is VERY unfair that they operate like that and would side swipe a child, just because they DON'T reside in the same state as the agency. How can you say that "you are about bring famlies together" as long as they don't live in your STATE.
Side swiped in Indiana
Indiana
I would recommend you contact another agency. I am not sure how it works in your state but can tell you that in mine many agencies are willing to waive the home study fee and be reimbursed for it using the purchase of service fee from the sending state. Check with other agencies in your area and inquire on this site and maybe the RRT from Indiana can answer your questions. In the meantime hang in there.
Dear Heather in Minnesota:
I can understand your frustration about children being listed before termination of parental rights (TPR) is complete. Sometimes social workers think the TPR will be done soon and then something happens that slows down the process. I agree with you that it would be good to list on the web site that certain children can't be considered in out of state adoptions because of a TPR in progress. Thank you in bringing this topic to our attention. Marilyn Gow, RRT Minnesota
I have spent the last few weeks looking into this "paying for your Homestudy" so you can search out of state and it is actually the norm with most, if not all agencies. If you just buy the Homestudy for $1,000+, you will still need representation before any out of state case worker will consider you. Some people pay an adoption attorney for this. My agency has said to go out of state it would cost $5,000. That is for the Homestudy and paying for our case worker's time (post placement supervision etc). This is more inexpensive than using an adoption attorney and is also the norm with most agencies. What some agencies FORGET to explain is that some states will reimburse the whole fee and some will reimburse just part of that fee. I was also told by an agency, that Texas will sometimes pay the whole fee in advance, direct to the angency, therefore, you wouldn't have to pay anything upfront atall. This is also why most States will search for families in that state first before considering out of state families so as to be less draining on that states financial resources.
Not all agencies actually have and "Out of State" adoption worker so this may also be something to consider when looking for an agency to sign up with.
Personally, it saddens me that state lines should matter atall, afterall there are up to 600,000 children in the system, 150,000 of which, ARE legally free for adoption.
It took me a long time to get to the bottom of this and then piece together all the snippets of information. I hope it is of some use to all the "unfound families" out there.
It Happened!
I have been frustrated by a huge lack of response from out of state workers. Some responded, but most did not. I did make contact with a worker in 'A southern state that was involved with Katrina', she had a 10 yo boy that sounded like the child I was hoping to find. Initially, she was interested, but indicated that she would go over the home studies in about 60 days.
One week later she called and talked at length, she called it the 'disclosure' phone call. She would get back to me the following week, she did and simply said "I'll call when we make a decision, but definately within a week." Two weeks went by, no call, obviously, they had chosen someone else.
On Thursday morning, while driving in heavy traffic, she calls, and I though 'Oh Crap, here comes the thank you for applying', I really wanted this kid, he seemed a good fit for us, and we sure looked like exactly what his agency wanted. About 10 seconds after she said "You have been selected as Lane's new family', I connected with what she had said. This is the fifth time for me, it is just as incredible as the first. God is kind. Very hard to drive, no focus. I finally thought to say "Yes, I accept".
The worker had taken all of the Home Studies to Lane. He went through each one carefully. He is concerened for his saftey, he checked the criminal background checks on each one. On ours he liked All male household, All kids adopted from foster care, No kids under 18, Active, and the family picture on the front of the study. In the end, he picked our study, the staffing was held, and the worker, her boss, and her boss's boss also picked us.
Take heart. Yes I am quite experienced at raising kids with big issues, but there were negatives that could have eliminated us and did not. I am older, as in retired and I get social security. I have an adult son, who has not lived at home in some time, that has drug problems, psychiatric problems and is in jail. The two boys at home (18 and 20) each deal with issues, that in the past were biggies. I am single, another item that could have been a no-go. Also, we live in SoCal, some workers idea of off the edge of the earth. It was a matter of having a child who needed what we had. Keep the faith.
Hi John B.,
I’m glad that you were able to talk with the supervisor, but I am very sad for the child. I’m sure that you were, too. I agree with you that it is best, though, that the supervisor provided her honest opinion of what’s going on when she spoke with you.
We work often with Northwest Adoption Exchange. You can find the link to their photolisting (http://www.nwae.org) on AdoptUsKids.org. Have you seen CAP Book online? It’s at http://www.capbook.org/. They’ve added a video on the homepage.
Thanks,
Elizabeth Brescia
AdoptUsKids
Local public social service agencies in VA are not mandated to do home studies for everyone who asks. Local public social service agencies do provide or arrange for training/home studies for families interested in adopting children from foster care. When a family is interested in adopting a child who is not in foster care, most local agencies will refer families to licensed child-placing agencies (LCPA). In VA if the family says that they are specifically looking to consider children from outside of the agency’s catchment area. Some of the LCPAs will charge fees for the training/home study. It is important for families to ask about this at the beginning, when they are choosing the local public social services office or LCPA that is best for them.
Hi all, a suggestion and a comment:
"Finding" kids:
Re: frustrating experiences with the photolisting websites. I was told that the kids you find online may be placed by the time you connect with anyone- so I hope that's helpful in staying philosophical. As someone said earlier, the children posted online may not all be available, ready or willing to be adopted.
Kids looking for you:
Have you tried the Heart Gallery of America org? The link is on the Resource Center page.
The local Heart Galleries show portraits of children who are actively seeking families and agree to be recruited for. The staff there is really motivated to match the kids with adoptive families and can help you connect with the right worker.
Out of state:
There may be serious reasons why it's in the child's best interest to remain in their state. Or the child may have asked to stay local. Shouldn't that be respected? Don't be too disappointed if workers are reluctant to have the kid moved away- there might be some child-centered reason.
Best wishes all- we have to believe, the right child is looking for us!
Is this site (adoptuskids.org) intended to promote inter-state adoptions or merely consolidate the profiles of children who are available for adoption across the United States?
In Illinois most children in the foster care system who become adopted are adopted by relatives or their current foster families. Thus, it can be frustrating for families who only want to adopt to be connected to a child. Although there are hundreds of children in Illinois who have adoption as their legal goal, the plan is for most of them to be adopted by the family with whom they are living. One of our tasks as the state exchange is to review cases with agencies to ensure that children who do not have an adoption resource are listed with us so families can become aware of their need for a new family.
Most of the children in foster care in Illinois (80%) are served by private agencies. The youth served by DCFS, the state agency, are primarily youth in residential or group care. The DCFS receives new cases and then refers them to agencies on a rotational basis (if a relative is not available). The agency that first gets the referral has 3 hours to respond and must place the child in the same zip code as the child’s family. This is beneficial to the child so he/she doesn’t have to change schools, friends, and can stay in contact with family. Agencies look for foster families that can assist them in working with the birth family so the child can return home as soon as possible. If return to birth parents is not feasible, the agency responsible for the child first looks for other relatives before considering non-related families to adopt the child. Also, in Illinois, the current foster parent has first consideration to adopt the child before other families are considered.
Practice in Illinois is designed to first keep the child in his own home and if that is not safe or possible, then relatives are considered, and then a foster home close to the child’s residence before coming into care. There are many more families wanting to adopt than children available and agencies greatest need is for foster families in the children’s home area. Thus, agencies encourage families that call them about adoption to consider foster care.
Private agencies receive funding from the state for their foster care services but they are not funded to provide adoption studies for families wanting to adopt children that are not already living with them. Thus, few agencies can afford to provide this service without charging a family for their time in preparing a family for adoption. If the adoptive family receives an Illinois child they would receive foster care funding until the child is adopted. If a child from outside of Illinois in placed with an Illinois family, the agency in the other state would pay the agency for serving their child. However, there is no funding for the agency that prepares a family (home study) for a non-specific child; thus, few agencies provide this service.
Please contact us, the Recruitment Response Team for AdoptusKids, for help with your adoption concerns.
Hi,
My name is Elizabeth Brescia, and I work with The Collaboration to AdoptUsKids. AdoptUsKids.org is a photolisting website. Photolisting websites are intended to find families for children. By empowering the families to inquire about children, photolistings help to shorten the amount of time that children wait for families. AdoptUsKids.org is a national photolisting, so it’s easier to find families for children, whether the right family for that child is in the child’s state or across the country.
On AdoptUsKids.org, the children’s case workers are also able to search through information about homestudied families who have registered with our website.
If you have any questions about searching for children in other states, please let us know. You can post the question on the blog, email me at info@adoptuskids.org or call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005.
Thank you,
Elizabeth Brescia
AdoptUsKids
Hello, I have been registered with adopt us kids since Aug, 2007. I have NEVER gotten a call from a social worker for any kid that I have inquired about. I think you get an automatic response from them to tell you where to send your home study, but that's it. From reading all the post it sounds like that is most peoples experience as well. At first I inquired about a lot of kids and had my home study sent to all of them. Not one reply. I know that we may not have been a good match, but come on, if these social workers have so many kids to find homes for why aren't they indulging into the families registered themselves and contacting them about children they have. They know their kids better than anyone, seems they could be more aggressive too, to help these children be placed in good homes. Aren't the caseworkers allowed to look through profiles, without the inquiry first? I like some others that posted have had more luck with going to actual state websites and sending my homestudy. I at least get responses saying that another family was chosen or something! All I have ever gotten from Adopt US Kids is an inquiry to send my homestudy, that's it!! With the thousands of kids profiles listed on the website, you would really think that a social worker could find all these kids a home with a little extra effort and time. WE as adoptive/foster parents sure put in our share of time and emotion, etc. We can't change kids lives on our own!!
I am truly frustrated. I put in for a child that I believed would be the best match with out family. Her name was Destiny and I found her on California Kids Connection. I was told that I would be considered but then she was placed with someone in Cali. Her placement was essentially disrupted and she was then listed on adoptuskids. I put in for her again and my social worker and Destiny's social worker spoke on several occasions. There was some sort of battle with the agencies and whom would get paid or something like that.
I discussed with my social worker that we would foot the bill for followups in my home state. The other agency, I believe wanted to do the followups which would have been costly.
Long story short Destiny was placed locally in Cali. There has got to be laws against agency ambulance chasing. I do not care about me suffering disappointment that was to be expected. The agencies need to take better care of not allowing the children to suffer anymore than they should.
Needless to say, I am keeping my search options closer to the east coast.
Chmae here
AdoptUsKids, if I understand correctly, is a site that is a type of "catalog" of adoptable children. They provide the information for all of us to view as well as our family narratives when we register. It allows caseworkers to view our profiles and information. It is also my understanding that the placing agencies will request that the profiles of the children are placed on this site and AdoptUsKids simply does the "computer" work and posting.
I dont think it is an automatic response to send your home study and I do think that caseworkers are personally viewing the requests. They would have to be checking the site in order to know to request your home study.
Elizabeth Brescia had recently addressed the fact that the caseworkers are able to read our family profiles before requesting the home study be sent. I hadnt really thought about that before she had mentioned it but it makes sense. It could well be that when we dont get a response it is because the worker has read the profile and has determined that for one reason or the other there wouldnt be a match.
I know it is frustrating when there is no response at all, however, on the up side of that is if there is no response neither you or your adoption worker are wasting time sending a study to someone who isnt interested in reading it. I take it as a sign to move on. I check MY LIST regularly and if 2 weeks goes by and I havent received a response I take the child or group off of my list and move on.
While I am not an expert, I do know that caseworkers are required to follow federal regs too. I believe that they have to exhaust all family resources as well as are required by law to first search for families that will take the children without a subsidy. There are probably also other regs that play into this. Law requires a child who is adoptable to be listed as such even though there may already be a pending placement. Again, I have talked with two different caseworkers who have stated it is their agency's policy to have X number of home studies before the process to choose the family begins and that even applies if the foster family has expressed an interest in adopting the child. And, one thing my adoption worker has warned me about and has actually happened to me is at the last minute the foster parents decide they want the child and ultimately, that is where the child is placed. I sometimes wonder if the entire process isnt just as frustrating and confusing to the caseworkers as it is to us.
I think it would also do us well to keep in mind that it is not always the child's caseworker that makes the decisions as to the selected family. I would think that the worker would have input and opinions, but many times there is a committee involved as well as a CASA volunteer or court appointed guardian that attends the selection meetings to express the desires of the child. It may also be that the child has bio family in the state and it is desirable for some type of contact be maintained. In the case of my sons, the family members who wanted to maintain contact with them felt it was the best interest of the children to move from their state. So, while it may be that in most respects one might be the best match for the child, there may be minor issues that result in another family being the best match. There is just no way for us to know exactly why we were or were not chosen as the family for the child short of a worker being considerate enough to call and explain in detail. This seems to happen rarely.
I think AdoptUsKids provides a wonderful service. If nothing else, it saves an enormous amount of time for those of us who are searching. I do go to the individual state sites but have noticed over the last year or so that many seem to be dropping their own sites and using this one. Imagine the time it would take for us to go to each and every state web site and search for children. With this site, most states list their children, we can search based on our preferences and it is all right in front of us. I think that is just great for all of us. I also truly believe that everyone involved with AdoptUsKids would go the extra mile to assist with any of our requests.
Until changes are made to the system we really all need to find a way to work together as a team and that is the way we can help the children. It is fine to get frustrated, I have had and continue to have many of those moments myself and have many times vented on this very site. But we all need to support everyone working in the system so that the children dont linger longer than they are already.
Chmae
This is Chris Morrison, with Indiana Foster Care and Adoption Association, the AdoptUsKids RRT. Regarding the issue of paying for Homestudies, several Indiana residents have questioned the practice of how one agency will send your homestudy to another state at no cost while another agency charges a fee. This of course is confusing and whether or not it is a government child welfare agency or a private agency, there seems to be no certain guideline in practice. I have posed the question to our state official at Department of Child Services to seek clarity on the issue. When I receive an answer I will update the post here.
We are sad and fed up. Many times over the past 3 years, we have been told we're finalists for a child or group of children. We get all excited and then we learn later that the child/ren went to an in-state family. Why don't workers state in the child's description that they don't want out-of-state families? Are we only "fillers" because they know they need a certain number for finalists?
We are tired of reading and hearing how badly homes are needed for children. I don't think I can get my husband to agree to apply for another child and get our hopes dashed once again. Three years of "no" are enough!
To Sad and Fed Up
I know how you feel and how frustrating it is but please dont give up. There are kids out there who need you. I dont think a worker would use a study just as a "filler" but only if you were being seriously considered. When studies go to a committee or a team meeting I dont think anyone knows for sure who will be chosen thus it would not make sense for a worker to throw a study in there that is not appropriate or fitting and take the chance on that family being chosen.
Have you been able to read your study? Sometimes all it takes is a little extra "pop" for yours to stand out. If you havent read it, ask to do so and if you feel there is additional information that reflects your family as exceptional then ask for it to be added to your study. It can be something really simple that makes your family stand out above the rest.
I do understand the frustration you and your husband are feeling but when you read the comments here at least you know that you are not being singled out. A lot of people out there are experiencing the same things that you are. I always say that things work out when you least expect them. Also, try not to make the mistake of attaching yourself to particular children based on a narrative. I am sure that there are many, many children out there, whether in your home state or others that would meet your criteria. Inquire about all that you think might be a match and even if you know you are going to selection, keep inquiring. Myself, I have actually been selected twice, if not three times and for some reason, usually a family member or foster family coming forward at the last minute, have been told that the situation has changed. This is not uncommon. How many children have you inquired about over the past three years? Are you searching the sites yourself and requesting your study be sent or are you leaving it up to your worker to do the matching. Again, registering with Adopt America is also a very useful tool in this process.
I would contact thru this site the RRT for your state and see if they can provide you with any insight as to why this is taking so long for you. Remember, sometimes even when pregnancy is a possibility, it can take months or years to become pregnant and then the 9 months before the child is born. It is not a lost cause, you simply have to learn the ropes for your state, find the right worker and agency for you and plug away.
The waiting is definitely the hardest but if you think it is hard on us, think of how hard it is on the children who are waiting for a family. We are adults, they are just kids. If we can make no sense out of the system, then I am sure even if the kids are aware of this wonderful system we have, they surely cannot make sense of it.
If you feel comfortable doing so, let us know what state you are in and some more info and maybe there is someone out there in your state of with more experience that can assist you in better understanding what is going on. I find that it is much easier to accept things when I can understand why they are the way they are.!!!
Chmae
For the family that was interested in Destiny,
Sorry it took so long to respond. You sound really disappointed. I can assure you that the agencies, county, and courts all work towards the best outcome for the child. A few things from the 7/1 posting from Chmae also are relevant here - often there are many public agencies working together to find the best placement for a child. There are many other considerations in addition to money that go into placements. Searching closer to the east coast is a good strategy, though. The placements are much easier and it is easier for a child to maintain any important contacts and birth family connections they have. Best of luck,
Mark Kunkel
California Recruitment Response Team
Hello everyone, I have adopted 8 girls. They all have some form of special need. I have adopted them from foster care in my local state. We are very blessed. We can see the design in all of it. How it was meant to be. We are now turing 47 and my husband will be 58. We still feel fairly young. We have 5 grown children and our youngest adopted is 3 year old triplets. I still have that feeling for another. People think we are crazy. I just enjoy watching them grow work through there issues and become productive. What does everyone think. Is 8 enough?
Hello. We are fairly new to this process and I'm wondering if anyone has stats on out of state adoption. Are out of state placements are the 'last pick' for finding a match? It seems no matter how I contact, email or phone, I've only touched base w/ 1 case manager out of state.
Are there any agencies that could help facilitate out of state placement? Thanks - Tracy
I just contacted Elizabeth and she was very helpful! We've inquired about a sibling group in California (we're out-of-state) and even though our home study was accepted, they have continued to put us off. We inquired back at the beginning of August and it's mid-November now. They decided they wanted to wait a few months for a local family, and have recently told us they will continue to look for a local family until early next year. We have an amazing background tailor-made over the last 6 years specifically for a sibling group just like the one we want to adopt! Why should a state line prevent these kids from being a part of our family? We're open to contact and visits and would love an excuse to head to California as frequently as we can haha! Maybe if we all just keep "shouting" eventually our voices will be heard and those thousands of children patiently waiting in foster care (in other states) will finally "Come Home".
Our family has adopted three times. Twice was within state and the last time was out of state. We found our children on the AdoptUsKids web site. Before we found our children we did inquire on a sibling group from another state and were told they would not send children to our state due to the distance. We then started checking on another sibling group and found a state that was willing to work with us. Our children have been with us for three years now and I can't imagine our life without them. All have bonded wonderfully with our family and tell us they are so happy living where they do now. One child was from a large city and had never fished before. He now loves to fish any time of year, any time of the day. Sometimes you have to keep trying to find a child's worker that is open minded to work with a family out of state.
Hi Anonymous,
I'm glad that Elizabeth was helpful. It sounds as if you are a highly motivated family. In many cases it is actually better for the children to be placed with a local family, and I can assure you that the social workers are working hard for the best outcome for the children. Also, even if you are not matched with these children, as you know there are many children waiting in foster care and the right match for your family will be made. Your persistence will serve you well. Best,
Mark
AdoptUSKids/California Recruitment Response Team
Post a Comment