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192 comments:
How the Child Welfare System Works is a new factsheet available from the Child Welfare Information Gateway, including a clear one-page diagram that might be especially helpful to you. The publication can be found at http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/cpswork.pdf.
Visit http://www.adoptuskids.org/images/professionalResourceCenter/TTAServicesFlyer.pdf for more information on the Training and Technical Assistance Services available through AdoptUsKids.
Pennsylvania
I didnt realize there were "advantages" in PA until reading many comments on the blog site. One of those is that there are many, many agency choices. We have private, public, non-profit and for profit agencies to choose from and as long as the adoption worker, like mine, is willing to travel, there are no geographical limits for choice of agency. I would assume that some agencies do have their own policies concerning the area they serve however this is not something that I have checked into since I am thrilled with the agency I currently use.
We do have SWAN however I am not sure whether that is an asset or not. I know that I have spoken with many who by using a SWAN affiliated agency are unable to look out of state for children. This may be agency policy or it may be that the hinderance is that those who are SWAN affiliates charge up front,(approx 2500.00) for the home study as well as charging the family for all other expenses, such as supervision, etc. If agencies in PA were actually placing children into adoptive homes then not doing out of state would seem to be advantageous for PA children however this does not seem to be the case. Out of all the families I know in PA that have adopted, I can think of only one who has adopted in this state. The other children for the other families have come from other states. After speaking with other people and having inquired many, many times of PA children, that placements are extremely slow or non-existant.
I also feel that when all 67 (69??) counties in PA operate independently that it becomes a very frustrating experience for potential families as well as adoption workers who are willing and able to look outside of their own and closely neighboring counties. It would seem that with each county having their own protcol that the "right hand doesnt know what the left hand is doing". Nor would many people within the system know how each and every county works as far as placing a child.
I have found for the most part that PA caseworkers are not responding to inquiries and when they do respond I have found many of them to be rude, short and at times ignorant and condescending. In my experiences I have actually received rather negative "labels" regarding my ability to handle a particular child(ren). I have been told I am "unremarkable", "too
old", single, "not enough experience" ( I have a total of 7-8 yr experience doing therapeutic foster care, was a TSS in wrap services for approx 6 yrs and have my degree in Psych/Soc and have worked most of my adult life in the MH/MR field, mostly with children as well as having successfully raising 4 children with needs as a single parent). I have always felt that these are just standard excuses given to many people rather than a caseworker taking the time to speak with me at length or possibly do more than simply skim over my study. Mostly, there is just never a response from any child's caseworker in PA.
I have been looking on PAE off and on (for the past 10 months or so more "off") for the past 3 years and see so many kids that were there then who are still there now. It seems they are growing up on the web site before my eyes. And even though some of these children seem to be on the site forever, I have in fact inquired on several of them and never have received a response myself or thru my adoption worker.
The children I have adopted are from out of state, save one, who was quite an accident. I at the time was not looking for another child but asked to do foster care for this child and will be finalizing with him in Sept.
Having done foster care for a lot of years and having dealt with many couties, I also am aware that there is no uniformity in the judicial system concerning TPR and placement of children. Again, each county is different from the next. I know of some counties that follow closely the "15 month" rule while others will allow a child to linger in the system for years with no further thought.
So while I guess the advantage is that there are many agencies from which to choose, PA just doesnt seem to be doing much towards placing children, thus PA children are lingering while those of us who are tired of waiting are going out of state to find our forever families.
Chmae
This may be a stupid question, but what exactly IS a recruitment response team? Exactly how could they help me?
Pessimistic optimist
I will let someone from AdoptUsKids respond to your specific question. I would just like to say that I am a firm believer in "the only stupid question is an unasked question". Please dont hesitate to ask questions!!!
This has been a long learning process for me and what I do know now I have learned over the past several years. Three years ago if someone would have mentioned ICPC or TPR I would have been at a total loss. We all go thru the process of learning the ropes and terms so dont think of any question being too simple or "stupid".
Chmae
Florida has recently reorganized - again.
The Department of Children and Families used to be divided into 15 districts. It is now divided into 6 regions, with 20 circuits made up of anywhere from 1 to 5 counties. (The previous reorganization several years ago took foster and adoption services away from the state department and gave them to private agencies. More on that later.)
Within the circuits, in many cases, there is only one agency to choose from. This means that, if you have a problem with the agency, and they decide that it's your fault that you are having a problem, you will no longer have a home study. I really don't know what you can do in that case. Move?
The procedure from circuit to circuit may be different, or it may be the same. I don't really know. But, I do know that each agency has it's own way of doing things, and they also set their own subsidy amounts.
I don't know how fast adoptions happen on average. However, like Chmae, I have seen children "grow up" on the websites.
DCF does have a somewhat dubious reputation, marked by bureaucracy and uninformed decisions. They also made the national news about a decade ago when they "lost" a little girl in foster care. (Remember Rilya Wilson?) As far as I know, she never was found. This is what appears to have led to the first reorganization, when private agencies began to handle foster care and adoption. At least one non-profit organization was formed to oversee these things, which was staffed primarily by - you guessed it - former DCF workers.
While there seems to be worse states than Florida to deal with, I wouldn't likely be working with Florida if I didn't live here.
Hi Chmae:
I agree that PA is a mess. In fact, a few months ago, someone from the Secretary of Public Welfare's office in Harrisburg emailed me claiming that the Commonwealth is "a model for the nation in terms of foster care/adoption." This could explain why the system in PA as well as all over the country is such a disaster. The right hand not only doesn't know what the left hand is doing, but it also doesn't seem to know that a left hand even exists and that they have to cooperate to get things done for the children in their care. I've also received letters and emails in the past month from a few elected officials stating that each county, for example, is given the option of providing CASA volunteers or guardian ad litem for children in care. In Philadelphia, CASA handles about 80 kids out of about 8,000! Some of the cases are handled by attorneys, but that too is problematic because some of the attorneys never bother to visit their clients in their homes and the family court is as slow as molasses in terms of addressing the problems these children may be having. It's obscene. I would like PA to make it mandatory for each child in care in every county to have a CASA volunteer or guardian ad litem assigned to him or her. Perhaps if a CASA volunteer or guardian ad litem had been assigned to Danieal Kelly, she would not only have had a better quality of life but she would also still be alive today. This fall, I start a month long class to become a CASA volunteer. Char
I am new to all of this and just need to vent.In the past few months I have requested info from two workers in Pa.Both got back to me and gave me all the info they could on 2 separate sibling groups.Both workers seemed interested.The children were posted and they were recieving many family profiles for the children.In both cases the foster/ respite families decided to adopt the children.As I stated this is all new to me,so my question may seem a little "stupid".Why would the workers "lead me on" and other families for that matter if they knew the families wanted these children ?
I have spoke to foster parents in the past who's children were never featured on a website.
It just seems unfair that the agencies kept excepting studies knowing that they had a family picked out for these children.
Is there anything or someone who can do something about this?
I new and already frustrated, is this what it's going to be like?
Pessimistic Optimist:
This may be a stupid question, but what exactly IS a recruitment response team? Exactly how could they help me?
Thanks for asking! I'm Kelly, a member of Oregon's Regional Response Team.
Each state, including Canada, native Tribes, and Puerto Rico, has at least one person designated as an RRT. The RRT is usually someone who works with the child welfare system in some capacity and is in a position to offer support, advice, and information to families in their state. For example, I'm actually an employee of a non-profit state adoption agency, but also work with AdoptUsKids to provide ongoing support to Oregon families who register through adoptuskids.org.
When a family from Oregon signs up on the website, or calls the head office in Baltimore, either me or one of the other Oregon RRTs will call or email the family within three days to let you know that we received your request for information, and to answer any specific questions you have at the moment. We can also direct you to the state-specific guidelines webpage, or send out more detailed information about programs or agencies of interest. We'll also explain the adoption and/or foster care processes, and give you some ideas about next steps to take.
Your RRT is your continuing resource as you move along in the process. We call families regularly to check in (once a month to once every six months, roughly) to see if you're having any troubles or questions. If you can't get in touch with your local state office, we'll also try. If you have a question no one else can answer, we'll try to help with the research. If you're having trouble finding an orientation in your area, you can give us a call, and we can help troubleshoot.
I hope that answered your question - believe me, you aren't the only one who is unaware of the RRTs' role! - and thanks so much for speaking out.
We were recently contacted by an out of state agency. We are very interested in the child they would like to place with us. We are currently licensed through a private agency within our state of NJ. This Agency owns our home study. There are problems with working with this agency and the other state. If we were to purchase our home study from them. Is it possible to then remove ourselves from this agency, and become a state family?
Frustrated
This type of thing happens a lot, not just in PA but other states as well. I cannot tell you why for sure but only my experiences with various PA counties as well as other states.
First, one needs to know that for a state or county to receive Title IV-E reimbursement (federal) they have to follow certain guidelines. One is that they have to first attempt to locate a family for a child who is able and willing to accept the child without any type of financial assistance (subsidy). They also have to search for the best family fit for the child. I assume they need to document this was done. Thus, I am assuming, since few of us are privy to that info, that in order to document this was done they need to be able to justify who the child was placed with and why. Basing this on just one or two home studies probably would not qualify.
I have a friend who was looking at a large sib group in PA and her instincts told her that these were to be her kids. She talked with the caseworker, who was very enthused about her family, and submitted her study. A couple of months went by and she called again to inquire and she was told that this county required a minimum of 10-12 studies on hand for a particular child before the studies were considered and weeded out to just a few. She continued to call the caseworker only to be referred to someone else, to another and to another. She finally felt that it was a dead end and when she was offered 3 other children she committed to them. It was only a matter of a few weeks after she was placed with her children that the county called her and told her she had been selected for the large sib group. She was still considering taking these children too but then was told it was too late as she had too many children in her home!! While it didnt make much of a difference at that point, the caseworker told her that she had been the top choice from the beginning but that ultimately it was another person who made the final decision, not the caseworker. I find this ridiculous because, other than the foster parents, the caseworker is the person who best knows the needs and wants of the children on their cases.
Since then I have heard that there are other counties in PA that also use similar criteria to determine where the child is placed. They need so many home studies before any are considered and the caseworker might have something to say but does not make the final decision.
I would also like to warn people to beware of some PA counties. I was told recently by someone I consider reliable that there are some counties in PA that offer only 1.00 per day subsidy and they only offer that because having a subsidy qualifies the child for the PA Access Card. I would hope and believe that NONE of us are in this thinking we can "make" money by adopting children but this is simply outrageous. Subsidy isnt to provide total support for the child but to supplement but how could one even begin to support an extra child on 30.00 a month? This doesnt even cover gas to run to medical appointments!!!
I many times have encouraged PA caseworkers to comment here, even if anonymously, to let us know what we should expect and how the system works and it seems to have fallen on deaf ears just as most of our inquiries do in PA. I on this blog have directed specific questions to SWAN and while I know the questions have been forwarded to the rep for that agency, they go unanswered. I find this follows suit with the way PA handles this process.
Another thing to keep in mind is that once a child has the goal of adoption, the agency HAS to actively search for a placement, however, there are some counties in PA that the judges refuse or dally around TPR. There are some counties that do not tolerate parent non-compliance and do TPR as soon as legally possible and others that will allow a child to linger for years. I know of a child who was in foster care for 7 years, 3 of those working towards reunification and 4 with the goal of adoption yet rights were never terminated. The bio mother had three children when he came into care, had another while I was active with this child and when I received more info at a later date found that she had had 3 more children, most of who ended up in care for some period of time yet the judge saw fit after 7 years to return this child to the mother. She had also during that time voluntarily given one child for adoption. Obviously, the children in this case had no rights in the eyes of the judge.
There are also some counties who will not work with an agency, like mine, that is not a SWAN affiliate. SWAN determines affiliation, if I understand correctly, based on whether the community in which the agency is based has a need for another adoption agency. Thus, SWAN dictates who is affiliated and who is not. Agencies who are not affiliated with SWAN are ignored at times simply because of the finances. SWAN provides funding for home studies, supervision, etc when you are "affiliated" thus if you are not, the county placing the child needs to find another way to reimburse the agency for their services. Children linger because the county doesnt want to foot the bill for these services. SWAN funds, rightly so, cannot be used for out of state adoption studies, etc thus many SWAN affiliated agencies will not do an out of state period. This I find ridiculous as most states out there have what is called Purchase of Service. It is a contract an agency/adoption worker does with another state to purchase the services for the study and supervision of the children being placed. It requires a little more effort and paperwork for the agency to do this and they have to wait for their money, thus I think the unwillingness to do out of state. (ICPC which regulates out of state adoptions also requires extra paperwork and many agencies either dont want the extra work or are too busy or lazy to learn the process.) I know in my case my worker was able to collect part of her fee at placement and the rest at finalization.
There are many times when, regardless of the state, the foster parents at first state they do not want to adopt but once a family has been identified the foster family realizes they cannot give up the children they are placed with the foster family. I dont take issue with this as the children have been thru enough and if they are happy and have a stable home that is where they should remain. I have had this happen recently and while I was disappointed I was also glad the children found their home and didnt have all the adjustments to go thru.
It would be nice if all the PA people out there would comment on their experiences with various counties in PA. I will be the first. In my experiences, Cumberland Co is great at not dragging out TPR issues and placing children as soon as they possibly can do so. Lancaster Co on the other hand, is miserable. This was some years ago but foster parents were required to attend hearings but IF they were even allowed in the court room were not permitted to speak. Franklin Co has horrible regs for their foster children, needing to be 24/7 supervision regardless of their ages, until a child is out of the system even an 18 yr old is not permitted to stay at home alone for even 15 minutes. There is another county that I would like to comment on but wont at this time until my adoption is finalized!!
Philadelphia is horrible. I had a professional friend once tell me that she had dealt with DHS in Philly on many ocassions and assumed the lack of responses etc from them was due to over loads of cases. She then had the opportunity to visit DHS and found that most of the workers are in cubicles and that phones were ringing off the hook yet workers sitting right there at their desks just didnt pick up and answer but were sitting chatting with each other. For the most part I have found Philly workers to be totally non-responsive to any inquiry and when they do respond find them rude and at times ignorant. I experienced an incident where I was inquiring on a child and I talked to the worker at length about myself and she was very excited and thought the fit would be wonderful. I had my worker submit my home study within days and she received a response that I was "unremarkable". It seemed odd to me that two or three days before I was perfect then I all of a sudden went to the bottom of her list!! I think Adams Co is great as far as foster care and found them very supportive and on top of the cases. They seemed to show a great concern for the children in their care. Of course, all of that was back in my "foster days" and I am not aware of dealing with adoption in most of the counties mentioned.
I think it would be great and very informative for any of you, regardless of the state, to discuss your particular experiences. For those of you in PA, we can put pressure on by exposing the faults in the system by speaking out. Nothing is going to change unless we do this. The system will remain as is and the children will linger if we dont get involved. If you dont feel comfortable naming your county, at least share what you have been thru. It really makes the process a little less frustrating to actually know what the process is. We dont have to necessarily agree with how things are handled to be able to "live" with the regs and rules, just knowing is beneficial.
Char - I agree that each child should be entitled to a CASA. The child I spoke of who was in the system for 7 yrs had an attorney but when I contacted that attorney he had no idea who the child was and had to "find" his case. On top of that, he was contracted with C&Y thus I dont believe his interests were with the child but keeping his contract and the money flowing with the contract. As far as I know and was told, every time there was a hearing, he didnt argue for the child's right to a loving stable home but simply was "there" for legal reasons. Many counties in PA do in fact use their C&Y attorneys to also represent the children in their care. This seems like a real conflict of interest to me. If an attorney was to really fight for a child you can bet that their contract with that county would NOT be renewed!! I think CASA is great as it is volunteer and the person appointed has nothing to lose by standing up for the rights and wants of the child. I wish you luck and know that you will keep everyone posted on your progress. Personally, as far as that poor little girl, someone dropped the ball and while it might sound harsh, I think that those involved and prosecuted, and I am sure will be found guilty, should suffer a similar fate as poor Danieal. Maybe someone should tie them to a bed and make them totally dependent on someone else to sustain their lives and see how it feels. Having CP didnt mean that she didnt have feelings or didnt suffer. She had great value as a human being and I am sure would have brought great joy to a family who would have adopted her and accepted her limitations. Now she will never have that chance. Hopefully, her death will bring major attention to the issues at hand and she will be the instrument to prevent this from ever happening to another child. It is not fair or just and her care and treatment by her mother and the system were horrendous so maybe we can all email to see to it that her death saves others from a similar fate.
Chmae
I think the most helpful change the social workers in my state of Oklahoma could make would be to respond to requests for information or answering machine messages asking for help or answers to questions. It took four months of waiting and three or four requests just to get an information packet on adoption. After we applied to be an adoptive family, I had some questions but my assigned social worker didn't return my calls and it had been a couple of weeks. I finally drove an hour and a half to her office but she wasn't there. The woman at the desk took pity on me and put a call through to someone who could answer my questions. Throughout the process whenever we had questions or needed help---especially at one point when our home study had been lost and it seemed no one was looking for it---it took multiple tries to actually get someone to call us back. In fact, at this point in time, we haven't heard from our social worker in almost seven months even though we have left messages asking her to call us. The program of adopting through the state is called SWIFT adoptions and I can only conclude that SWIFT stands for Social Workers Ignoring Families Totally. :(
Hi Elizabeth:
Why is it that the postings on AdoptPAKids say, "All families will be considered" when this isn't what's happening? I'm asking because I keep seeing postings that say good things about the child(ren) and I'm sure some of it is true, but why state that "parental rights will be terminated once a permanent placement is found" when those of us who are interested in the children and who make inquiries are ignored or told a pack of lies concerning the children's status? Last month, I inquired about two little boys (a sibling grp) whose goal recently changed to adoption; yet, the caseworker is only looking for families in Beaver county. What if there are no families in the county who are willing to take two children at once? I was told this info about the boys in a face-to-face meeting and I received an email confirming this story a few days later. While the boys' picture was removed on the day I talked to a SW who was familiar with the case, it reappeared about a week ago and is still there. Why isn't the fact that the caseworker/agency is only interested in adoptive families in a specific county part of the narrative on children so that those of us who are interested don't waste our time asking about them?
I have also found that many of the narratives are too good to be true and I am wary of ones that say a child is "gentle" and "can be around pets and small children." I tend not to believe a word of it and I think that it's the complete opposite, that the child may in fact be Jeffrey Dahmer, Jr. in the making. Is this why so many adoptions end up disrupting? If so, why not use honesty in the beginning? I can only speak for myself, but if I'm told that a child has certain issues but that s/he is eligible to get and getting therapy for the problem(s), I would be willing to work with the child. On the other hand, if I'm told a pack of lies to get me to take a child the agency is trying to push on me, I will neither keep and work with the child on his/her issues nor accept other children from someone who or an agency that is dishonest. Many of us don't like nasty surprises. We want to know up front what and with whom we are dealing and that's not a lot to ask, especially since, after we accept the children, we will be blamed for causing ALL their problems - LOL.
Since I've been educating myself on the child welfare system, I have discovered that too much info on the child is hidden, not fully disclosed. While I get it that there are confidentiality concerns, the propensity to lie to perspective adoptive families only hurts the child's chances of being adopted. Is this deliberate? Honesty and integrity have to be hallmarks of the child welfare system. Otherwise, it will continue to be dysfunctional. Char
It looks like Pennsylania may be a hard place for me to adopt children from.I live in Dauphin County and my agency is in Cumberland County.They are a SWAN agency that deals with out of state placements as well.
Maybe I will do better going out of state?
That sounds complicated though,has anyone here done it and willing to share the experience?
I just ran across a newspaper article that I kept a couple of years ago about a children's shelter for kids in foster care. The story centered around a 6-year-old boy who had been temporarily placed there because his widowed father was arrested. During the night, an older boy snuck into his bed and molested him.
Florida DCF investigated, looking for signs of improper supervision and faulty care, but found NONE.
While sexual abuse is often perpetrated by those who have been abused themselves, what good is a "shelter" if supervision and care is deemed by the state to be effectively provided, yet innocent children are abused in the night while they sleep?
Now back home, this boy's father sits by his bedside each night so that he can be there for him when he awakens suddenly and starts crying.
The organization that operates this shelter is one of the agencies contracted to provide foster care for children in the state's system. This is just more of the dubious reputation of Florida DCF.
from Mississippi. My wife and I have been waiting for over 2 1/2 years for a match. We would like to have a son now that that our 2 daughters are married. We are an average couple married for many years that could offer a child a safe loving home. We are both employeed at good jobs. Our background is impectable and finacies secure. Yet we still wait for a match. We are not looking for a baby at our age, but rather for an older child. October will be 3 years. Any suggestions?
Hi, I have what I hope is not a foolish question, but here goes. I live in Maryland and intend to adopt two beautiful girls from South Carolina, I am wondering if the adoption takes place in Maryland can I get the tax breaks Maryland allows even though the children are not from Md.
Thank You
Belljo
Mom of 3 Bgirls
future Mom of 2 more Beautiful girls
Jenni Faith
Thank goodness for your sense of humor. I cant give you advice but I can tell you in one way or the other we have all been frustrated by the process and system. It is difficult when states vary so greatly in the process and with some states it even varies from county to county.
If you dont mind me asking, as you know it what is the process in OK? It is fine if you dont know everything but if you could share with us what you know that would be great. In the meantime maybe you should contact the RRT for your state or maybe they will read your post and respond. AdoptUsKids has great resources and we are all here to support and inform each other so please keep us posted.
To Frustrated
Check with your adoption agency and see if they will do out of state placements based on Purchase of Service. Most SWAN agencies require you pay the 2500.00 home study fee up front before they will send your study to another state for consideration and then charge you out of pocket for supervision and any other services incurred.
Out of state is NOT difficult. I have done out of state and while it takes someone who knows what they are doing to deal with ICPC, it can be a smooth process. ICPC is a central agency that puts together the paperwork for the sending and recieving states, makes sure it is all in order and gives the okay for the children to move. Of course, some states are quicker and easier to adopt from than others but it works that way regardless of in state or out of state.
I didnt really find any barriers to adopting out of state. Of course, I had no young children to consider at the time as far as travelling and arranging child care at home. I adopted from OR and they paid up front for my flight out and I paid for the rental car and hotel, meals, etc which is reimbursable. I had to spend a total of 5 days in OR and when I returned home the boys returned with me. Some states do it differently of course.
My adoption worker here in PA ( if anyone would like the info on her agency I would be glad to provide it) is very experienced with ICPC and it basically went off without a hitch. She is also more than willing to use Purchase of Service for her fees. My oldest OR son wanted to be adopted in OR and that was important to him so we used an OR attorney and while we did not travel back for a formal hearing we had a party at home, thus using the vendor attorney. I paid no out of pocket expenses for the legal work.
Before finalization it was a matter of my adoption worker doing the monthly supervisions in the home and that was basically it. It really isnt very different from adopting in PA.
I would suggest that you talk at length with the agency you are currently using and find out the specifics. I hate to say it but PA seems to have a lot of very disatisfied and frustrated potential families and quite honestly, I dont even look for children in PA any longer. I spent nearly 18 months looking strictly in PA (part of that time with a different agency) and it wasnt until I began searching out of state that I began receiving responses and finally was placed with my sons. The two children I hope to bring into my home soon ( I am waiting for final approval) are also from out of state. So, in summary, in just a little over a year I have found four children out of state while I wasted the first 18 months of my search in PA. I will admit that I do have a child that will be finalized in early Sept from PA but he came to me as a foster child after an adoption disruption thus I dont think at this point I would still have found a PA child if not for "luck" as well as the fact that my adoption worker was on top of things and thought of me first when this child needed a placement.
I hope my adoption worker doesnt mind me telling all this, I would imagine it is public record anyway, but she has done approx. 40 placements in the past 5 years and only 3 of those have been PA kids. For those of you who might be thinking "only 40 over 5 years" you need to keep in mind that she is essentially a "one man show", just a small agency and does it all herself. She does too cover the entire state of PA, so again, if anyone out there would like info please let me know.
A short response to the issue on shelters for children. What good does it do to have a secure shelter for habitual runners, and at risk children when the shelter cannot lock their doors from the inside thus giving a child a chance to run at any time? This does not make sense to me. The solution for this shelter is to make the kids wear flip-flops so they cannot get away as quickly as with sneakers on!!! Again, not the shelter regs but the regs of PA. Sometimes one has to wonder who is "thinking" on the upper levels!!!! LOL
Well I can safely say I have never, not once, had a RRT contact me from my state. The only person I have had ANY contact with in my home state is my case worker. Or would she be considered a RRT?
Pessimistic Optimist,
You need to fill out the form on this page in order to be contacted by an RRT in your state. They'll be your objective advocate, someone who is not actually involved in your case like your caseworker or other agency staff or the workers for children of interest.
I wish I could answer everyone's questions/comments here, as so many of you have shared significant information about your own struggles with the system. Unfortunately I can only answer questions regarding Oregon, but please rest assured that it's wonderful to see so many people passionate about helping kids, no matter how difficult the process may be.
Hi Pessimistic Optimist,
My name is Elizabeth Brescia, and I work with AdoptUsKids. Thank you for asking about RRTs! No, your case worker is not your RRT.
An RRT is a Recruitment Response Team. No matter what state in the U.S. you live in, you have an RRT.
(Also, our RRT who is located in Colorado assists more than the Colorado families; the RRT in Colorado also assists families living in U.S. territories and living outside of the U.S. who are interested in adopting children from U.S. foster care. And Puerto Rico has their own RRT, too.)
Each RRT has professionals who are experienced in adoption and foster care. Some are even foster or adoptive parents themselves. RRT professionals can help you to get started on your adoption and/or foster journey.
If you already have a social worker, then you may have already started your adoption and/or foster journey. However, if you have questions about adopting and/or fostering, then your RRT can talk to you about those questions, offer advice and suggest resources. Please feel free to talk to an RRT at any stage in your adoption and/or foster journey.
RRTs don’t know that you would like to be contacted by them until you complete an AdoptUsKids request-to-be-contacted form. That form is available at http://www.adoptuskids.org/RRT/FamilyIntakeRRT.aspx. (If you have any trouble with clicking on that link, copy and paste it into your internet browser’s address line.)
Once you fill out the request-to-be-contacted form, a professional from your RRT will email or call you within three business days.
Have any more questions? Let us know! We love hearing from families. Call me at 1-888-200-4005 or email me at info@adoptuskids.org.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
Kate
How about a post for people who are old enough to be grandparents? There seems to be quite a number of us out here. We could benefit from the experiences of those who have adopted at an "advanced" age, as well as give each other support. Specifically, what are the pitfalls and special joys that may be related to being older?
Thanks.
syrag
If I didnt know better I would be offended by your comment on "advanced" age!!!!! LOL BUT, since you are putting yourself in that category too I will let it go. LOL
I think I just read somewhere that 20+% of the adoptions from the system are older adults. I'm not positive but I think 50+ was the age range.
Sometimes it becomes a little strange to have children younger than your grandchildren but in a good way. My oldest child will be 38 this fall, my next oldest 35, in fact, today. I then remarried and had a second set of children who are now 23 and 21. I have grandchildren who are 18, 17, 16,
8, 2 1/2, 1 1/2 and 10 months as well as a 6 mo old great grandchild. My children here at home are 4, 11 and 13. Thus, my 4 year old is an Uncle to an 18 yr old!!! Trying to explain this to them, especially having special needs, is almost impossible so for now, while the younger of my two sons are their brothers they tend to think of the older of my two sons their uncles.
I wasnt sure I had it in me to any longer raise younger children however from the age of 6 months to almost age 2 I single handedly raised my now 2 1/2 yr old grandson. I still have extended time with him but when he went to live with his mother and I thought I was just missing him terribly (which I was) it turns out I was missing have a little one in the house.
All the women in our family, paternal and maternal relatives, have lived very long and healthy lives. At one time my Great Aunt was the oldest living woman in the state of Ohio, I believe she was either 111 or 113 when she passed. Therefore, at 56, I dont consider my life near it's end and plan to go on for years and years yet. However, I do know that being older is a risk so I have made plans for the children at home in the event I am unable to care for them in the future or I would pass. That is the benefit of having adult children and then adopting, they are established and are willing and able to care for them.
I wont say that I dont have some of the "cricks" and "symptoms of advanced age" (LOL) but I am still on the go and able to provide for any child that comes into my home. I think older people have the advantages of wisdom and experience that only comes with raising children and/or with age. My patience is greater and for some reason, though I am not sure it is age, over the past few years I have realized that the simplest things in life are the most important. I value and enjoy each day I have with my children and I think that they know that. It is my opinion that we are a valuable resource for the children regardless of their age.
Of course, my age pretty much puts me out of the running for younger children. I do think the only reason I did get selected for my 4 yr old son is that his brother is very special needs and they needed to be placed together. I was amazed when I went to the State by State map on this site and saw that DC stated that many agencies "prefer" to keep no more than a 45 yr age difference between the youngest child and the parent. I havent yet gone thru all the states so dont know if this is the only one, however, it does seem rather discriminatory, although I am sure if "rejected" from DC they would not actually use that age difference as an "official" reason. I dont know how they could without being seen as discriminating based on age.
I think of it in this way. A 35 yr old couple could adopt and then (God forbid) experience a car accident and both die leaving children alone and since I do not have any medical issues feel my risk of dying before my kids are of age isnt much higher than anyones out there. I guess that many caseworkers out there just dont see it that way. They have to do what they think is best for the children and that is okay too.
I really havent noticed any major pitfalls. There are times when I have received some negative comments out in public. Like someone will walk up to me and ask if the boys are my grandchildren and when I respond that they are my sons, the eyebrows go up. My 13 yr old, as much as I try to squash it, almost always says, Mom adopted me and my brothers. Most often I get the look of "why??" and comments like "you have your hands full". Personally, I dont know why people think this as having for the most part always been a single parent, it doesnt seem like a lot of work to me. I guess those things in life you enjoy arent really work. And I have had the typical, "arent you a little old?" comments but I just smile and say "no". I think my kids keep me young!!!
There are times when I wish that I could make just a little more time for myself, but that has nothing to do with my age, I think all parents, especially single parents, feel the same way. When I am feeling this way I simply make a little extra time for myself and it satisfies.
Oh- I know one adjustment I did have to make. When my grandson left he was a little too young to be in the whole cartoon thing and recently my 8 yr old granddaughter said she wanted her Mom to take her to a Jonas Brothers concert for her birthday and in my mind I am at a total loss as to who the heck they are!!! So, I am finding myself brushing up on what is popular with the little ones. My two older arent so much into "what's hot" due to their disabilities but I am preparing myself for that. Hanna Montana, Diego, Dora, SpongeBob, etc. And since all of my children have been boys, though I do have 3 granddaughters, I am preparing myself for the day I may have a daughter. Again, this has nothing to do with age. I hesitate at times when I think of having a girl because I myself never was nor am a "girlie" girl and wonder if I will be capable of that adjustment!!!
Thus, except for our "advanced" age I dont see too many differences or adjustments that everyone else doesnt have regardless of age.
I do think this would in fact be a good topic of discussion so anyone out there who wants to join in, please do.
Chmae
I have been an adoptive parent for many years now.My husband and I have decided to get into foster care now that the children are getting older.Maybe to foster-adopt if the right situation is put before us.I live in Pennsylvania.I have been acively searching the Pae web-page and ADOPT US KIDS.I have been incontact with a caseworker for several months for a sibling group.
I recently found out the the foster family will adopt some of the children and not the others.
This is very disturbing to me because several years ago I also adopted a sibling group,but the mother gave the last children to another family member.
What hurts me in this is that my children know they have a little brother out there somewhere and for now he is out of their reach.The same is true with the others I adopted.
I do not fully understand the system but I know of an agency in Harrisburg Pennsylvania that is strict on keeping families together and I cannot understand how the county can allow these precious babies to be separated.
Can someone in Pennsylvania please enlighten me on this.
I am interested in the other children but I was willing to take them all,not splitting them up.
PA
I dont understand either why they would split up sibs without excellent cause!! I too have been in the situation where the foster parents wanted one or more of the sibs but not the others. This makes no sense to me. If it is a sib group and someone who is able to take them is willing to take them all together, then they should not be split up. If I was in your position I would start making waves and contact your local reps and ask this question of them and ask them to inquire as to the reason they are being split apart. I have found the best way to get the attention of the placing party is to draw some attention to what they are doing. It is amazing how often they will re-think the situation.
Good luck and hope things work out for you.
I do not know about the rest of you but what I am finding out that in my journey to adopt in Pennsylvania,the foster parents have a better advantage.
Back in December I responded to a caseworker about a sibling group on the Pae site.The worker was one of a handful that responded back to me keeping me updated on the children and their progress.SUDDENLY out of no-where the respite family decided to take on the children.
Then several months ago another sibling group,the caseworker was good about updating me and the status.Yesterday I found out the foster mom was adopting them as well.
I have encountered this same issue when dealing with Ohio state and South Carolina as well.I understand that when dealing with children within the system, the less moves the better but is this common practice?
I mean what if the foster parents are NOT the best match for the child?
Chmae,
Considering the relationships between your various family members, you sound like you would enjoy an old song called "I'm My Own Grandpa." You can find it online. The Ray Stevens version is the best.
As for keeping up with what's hot with young people, Focus on the Family has an excellent publication called "Plugged In" that helps parents know the good and bad of what kids are currently into.
After reading the blogs I am shocked that over 100,000 kids are adoptable across the US and the adoption system appears broken.
On the positive side, my wife and I are over 50 and have five adopted children, ages 34, 33, 15, 6, and 5. All were infants when they arrived in our home via the fost-adopt systems in California and Texas. We helped several of our friends also adopt infants, in Virginia and California. All of these adoptions were at no cost, or fully reimbursed. In fact there was a $10,000 direct US tax refund for adoptions. Additionally adopted "high risk" children receive subsidies from most states, such as over $1,000 a month from California, to apparently $30 in PA.
I am gathering information on the various adoption processes for each state and could use any links or email addresses for knowldgeable points of contact who can address issues such as cost of home studies, legal reimbursements, average time for adoptions, demographics and other issues.
I particularly enjoyed the comment on the "SWIFT" adoption process or lack thereof.
John A.
John A
I am in PA and would gladly inform you of the process in this state IF anyone really knew what that is!!! Again, there are either 67 or 69 counties in PA and each county is operated individually. Each county has it's own process as well as sets their own subsidies.
I would suggest that for PA you research SWAN, which is the Statewide Adoption Network which to my understanding is an agency established by the state but run by a contracted agency, Diakon, to oversee as well as distribute funds to adoption agencies in PA. This agency has no control over the county based agencies, though, such as any Children and Youth, what we call our DHS or protective services for children. A private agency does not need to be a SWAN affiliate to operate in PA, in fact, SWAN decided who receives affiliation and who doesnt based on the "need" of a particular county.
I can tell you that SWAN allows their affiliates 2500.00 per home study done. I do not know the other fees and dont know if you can find this on line or not. Non-affiliates of SWAN can and I assume do set their own fees. I have had great success with my agency ( a non-affiliate) and have found that my adoption worker works with counties in PA and out of state on negotitating her fees. It can be difficult in PA to be a small, non-profit agency as there are some counties in PA that want to use nothing but the SWAN funds thus to use my adoption worker they would have to pay out some other resource to pay for studies, supervision, etc.
There seems to be little supervision and/or "checking" on those agencies who do receive SWAN funds. It is my understanding that a SWAN agency yearly requests funds from PA based on what they "think" they will need for the adoption process. An example would be that they may in fact request the funds for 10 studies, 10 adoption prep (this is a process where a worker readies the child for adoptive placement) 10 for this and 10 for that . Then, if they dont do the 10 studies, or 10 preps, they are free to use the funds for any aspect of adoption, such as matching or recruiment. It is also my understanding that an agency can claim they did 10 studies however, there is no one checking to see if in fact the studies went out to any agencies regarding placement of children.
This I find as a major fault in the system. A disreputable agency could in fact do the studies, collect the funds then file away the study with it never being sent to a single agency for consideration. Personally I think the funds would be better spent if they were policed in some way and if the agency only received 50% up front then the rest only when they have successfully proven that the study actually was "used".
I think another resource for you might be the map that is provided here on this site. It does give some basic info on what states are looking for in adoptive parents and the process. There is also a comprehensive summary of each state and their subsidies if you search for North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC). There is much valuable info there.
I wish you luck in your quest and feel that if you manage to compile and complete the info it would be a valuable resource.
Chmae
Again I find myself disgusted with the process in PA. While I was not searching in PA for another child I did thru word of mouth find a young man that I thought would be a great fit in my home and one who has special needs that I am very experienced with.
It was actually the caseworker for the child that contacted my worker for info on me concerning this child and my study was submitted. I was looking forward to hearing something back but have not. I was not looking forward to working with this particular county as I have had experience with them before and am not impressed.
After not hearing anything for weeks now I contacted someone from the county in question asking if they were aware of my inquiry and what was the status and the response I received was " if you have not heard back from the worker then you have not been selected" ( or something very close to that). The person I contacted does work specifically for adoptions in this particular county.
I find this type of generic response to be just plain laziness on the part of the worker. If in fact someone really wanted this child to be placed and since I have already adopted from this county and they seem to "like" what I have done for my son, I would assume that they would further look into the inquiry and speak with the worker from the "placing" agency to see that someone is following thru on this. I guess this will be another case of a child sitting and lingering. I plan on watching PAE site to see just how long this child is listed before, if ever, his picture and and narrative disappears.
I just dont see what the major deal is about a caseworker at least emailing someone and letting them know that their study has been read and that they were not chosen. In these days of computers I would think they could issues a generated response and even that would at least be an answer. I would just like to pose the question again, "If very few kids in PA are actually being placed then why are the jobs of the caseworkers so time consuming they cannot return a call or email?" Someone took the time to read initial info on me, someone took the time to inquire further concerning my study and request my study so why cannot a response be expected in return?
Except for a major company, like when we buy a Dell or Gateway computer and call for assistance (LOL) I can think of no other industry in that would treat it's "customers" with such disrespect and indifference. If we as prospective parents treated a caseworker in such a manner he/she would probably not even consider us for a placement. He/she would probably find us rude and disrespectful and decide that we could not effectively raise a child.
I would never dream of giving up on adoption due to some petty reasoning like non-responsive workers but it is still my opinion that more people would in fact remain in the system longer if we were just treated with some common courtesy and respect. That is what is the most frustrating, not sitting back waiting for a faulty system to work for us but the caseworkers that use this faulty system as an excuse not to do their jobs.
Again, I no longer actively search in PA for children and will not do so due to the past experiences I have had with PA agencies. Char had mentioned in a blog that she had received an email from someone higher in the ranks expressing that PA is a "national leader in foster care/adoption" however I dont see it. Obviously the person writing that comment has never come to this site and reviewed the complaints and concerns from those of us in PA. Maybe what we need is for those of you who have had recent good experiences or successes in PA to blog your stories so that those of us who have rightfully given up on PA may re-think the issue.
Chmae
Mississippi,
I am really sorry to hear that you have not been matched with a child. However, I would like to provide you with some reasons that maybe you have not been matched. In Mississippi infants and toddlers are in high demand and it is very hard to get younger children. There are alot of people who have been waiting for awhile and what happens is they will give the infant or toddler to a person that has been waiting the longest. Also, many infants and toddlers have not been TPR'd(Termination of Parental Rights) and the public agency will not place the children in pre-adoptive homes due to the fact that the biological family can get the children back if they complete all of the requirements that the public agency has placed on them. So I really do not know what your situation maybe, but I am always willing to assist you.
Thank you for your interest in adoption.
Lynda J. Robinson
RRT AdoptUsKids Mississippi
We're in Alabama and new to this whole process. I started out inquiring about fostering, now I want to adopt. We have contacted our local DHR office and are waiting on the classes to start in September.
We are starting from the very beginning. I was told that we could have placement as soon as 6 months from now. But after reading some of these posts, I wonder how accurate that statement is??
I guess I'm just wondering what I'm in for here? I don't want to get my hopes up then get shot down. Years of infertility treatment did that to me and I don't know if I could handle dealing with it in the adoption process as well.
Alabama
Each state is different and the process is faulty but if you make yourself aware of that from the beginning I think you will be able to avoid some of the frustration.
First, know that no matter how long it takes, adoptions do happen. A lot depends on the preferences you have for children, such as age, sex and race along with what issues you are willing and able to deal with. Infants, toddlers, younger children and sibling groups are in high demand and the wait will be longer than for other children. There seem to be many more male children available than female children. The length of time you wait may even depend upon your experience with children as most in the system have special needs and caseworkers do have a tendency not to want to place children with more severe issues with first time parents.
It sounds as if you have had a rough go of it in the past but there may be a plus side to that. It sounds as if you have had to learn to deal with disappointment in the past and that may benefit you now.
My biggest suggestion would be to keep yourself in "check" while going thru the process. Know from the beginning that the process can be and usually is slow. While there are many children out there who need permanent homes, there are also many dedicated families waiting for children. ( I am not familiar with your state thus dont know specifically how AL works but would imagine in some ways much like other states. Again, the process is slow. ) Take the time to educate yourself to the process in your state and find a support group if there is one available for you. Utilize this site for a place to vent and a source of information. I think if you go in to this KNOWING and having the mind set that you may have to wait for quite some time, you will lower your frustration level. And, while I may seem I am preaching this at times, do your best to not allow yourself to "fall in love" with children based on their photo and narrative. Try to condition yourself to have an interest in the children without becoming attached until you know for sure that the child(ren) are being placed with you. Inquire about as many children as you can who "fit" your preferences. And, believe in fate as the children who are meant to be with you will eventually come into your life.
While not in your state, I have been in the process for over 3 years now. I was first with an agency that mislead me concerning the process and I kept "falling" for what they were telling me and taking it as the absolute truth. This was a mistake as when I began to do research, talk to other adoptive parents, etc I found that I was getting "lip service". If AL has choices in agencies that you can utilize I would suggest that before starting the process you interview various agencies and choose the one you feel best meets your needs and viewpoint. Anyway, I feel as though I wasted a little over the first year of my search on this agency but after taking some friendly advice and finding the right agency for me, things began to happen.
I switched agencies just two years ago and I have adopted 3 boys and just learned that I have been approved to adopt two sibs from out of state. I dont believe this would be happening had I NOT changed agencies and learned to advocate for myself.
I would also suggest you research the various issues that the children coming from the system seem to carry with them. Even as an inexperienced parent, when speaking to a caseworker, letting them know you have taken the time to learn about various issues when having a conversation with them can make up for a lack of hands on.
It probably will be discouraging for you at times but if you take steps NOW to condition yourself to the possible disappointments down the road it should be a much less frustrating experience for you. Most important, remember that there are many children out there who need loving and devoted parents and since your goal is to provide a loving stable home for children, always keep in mind, if ever you feel like giving up, that the children are the first concern. If we give up there are less families to accept these kids and some may well go without a home and forever family.
I wish I could be more helpful. Again, use this site and comment as often as you want. There are many of us who have already been where you are at and built our knowledge by asking questions. We are here to support you at any time. And, keep us posted as to the progress as well as the process in AL. It is always nice to know how other states work.
Chmae
Hi, This is in response to the person in Alabama...
I personally think the best route to go is starting out as a foster parent. Most of the stories have been from strictly adoptive parents only. Foster care is in high demand. Of course, you risk the children returning to the bio parents however, if you are the foster parent first, and rights are terminated the SW will generally allow you to adopt the children placed with you. Also, this gives you a chance to really get to know the child first (and any issues) before making the decision to adopt. Lastly, if you open your home to a wide range of children ie... age, sex, race, sibling groups & disability, you will have a much better chance. I hope that helps & Good Luck! Jenna
I do not think it is possible for someone to take their private agency study and become a DYFS adoptive parent, unless they went through our study process all over again. And if a NJ family is interested in a child from another state, we would normally direct them to a private agency to complete a study. The only time we would accept a NJ family for a child in another state would be if NJ interstate accepts the request from another state's interstate office. If this family is having difficulty with the private agency that they used, maybe there is another private agency that they can work with.
Peggy Stofik
DCF of NJ
If you are interested in the types of children the Division has waiting for families, you could come to us to have a new home study.
We can not use another agency's study unless that agency is still working with the family. If they family resides in New Jersey they must be licensed. If not they will still need to have a new study and become licensed. If they "buy" the study and leave the agency, they no longer have a valid home study.
Gayle Williamson
DCF of NJ
BELLJO in Maryland.....
Hi Belljo from Maryland. My name is Celleeta, i am the Recruitment Response Team for South Carolina. This is not a foolish question, it is actually an interesting question, and can be very helpful to others who would like to adopt from SC.The finalization of the adoption would take place there in Maryland. And the tax breaks are federal so you would be able to use Marylands tax breaks. If you have any other concerns or questions please let me know, and Good Luck!
I live in Virginia and my husband and I are in the process of searching for our second child for adoption. We are "older" parents and have raised two daughters to adulthood, have one daughter who graduates high school this year and our newest member, our 5 year old adopted son begins Kindergarten tomorrow!
We decided to adopt 4 years after losing our youngest child and only son to a sudden cerebral hemorrhage. Like many of you, we adopted our son from another state (California) although we experienced significant frustration before "finding" him.
It is a long and often frustrating experience but so very worth it when you finally find that special match. Our son (whose adoption was just finalized this winter) has added so much joy to our lives . . .it's impossible to describe.
And yes, we are of an "advanced age" but feel that we can provide so many advantages that our son may not have had otherwise. If anything, he helps us stay "young" and we continue to enjoy all the same activities and fun times that we shared with our older children.
(Okay, maybe I'm not so keen at spending hours out sledding on a cold winter day, but I'm great at taking pictures while he sleds with my older daughter!).
Adoption (at any age) is a wonderful thing and so worth all the wait (and frustration!)!
To Chmae -
I agree with you – you and every other family deserve to be treated with respect. And that includes getting a response on an inquiry you have made about a child, even if it’s only an automated response to your worker. On behalf of the system – of which I’m a member – I apologize for every worker who hasn’t responded. PA does care. Any contacts made by either your agency or you should be documented with dates/times/names of phone contacts, or dates of mailed materials. This documentation is needed to hold an agency accountable for not responding as well as for doing what they said they would do. Any documented information on PA agencies that do not respond and on contacted PA workers who are rude/inappropriate/discouraging/etc. should be reported to the regional Office of Children, Youth and Family that oversees that agency.
Having said all of that, I can also say that I spend over 80% of my time talking to families across PA and the vast majority of them are having a positive experience. The adoption journey is difficult; things frequently don’t work out the way a family envisioned them working when they started the journey. And yes, the most common gripe is the lack of response from child workers. Last year 1,931 adoptions were finalized for children who had been in the foster care system in our state. I would not say “..very few kids in PA are actually being placed…” If you would like to discuss your particular situation, please call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005. Sue Zola, RRT from PA
To the person asking about sibling adoptions –
Keeping sibling groups together, or at least in contact with each other, has become a more critical consideration in recent years as we have learned about the importance of the bond between siblings. While it has always been an ideal in the past, the realities of the availability of appropriate homes, especially in emergency situations and with large sibling groups, hasn’t always made it possible for siblings to stay together. When resource homes (formerly called foster homes) are limited to six children under the age of 18, including a family’s own children, it is challenging to find a home that can accommodate a large sibling group. Consequently, it usually meant a sibling group would be placed in different homes. If they were placed in different resource homes, it was quite possible they would be adopted by different resource families. It is also possible that siblings became available for adoption at different times as birth parents voluntarily relinquished rights for one child but not the others or workers didn’t have sufficient grounds for terminating rights for the entire group or, as in your case, a birth parent may voluntarily place a child with a relative instead of with the siblings.
When siblings are placed with different resource families the agency has to make some tough decisions. Should they disrupt the secure, stable home of some of the siblings in order to keep the siblings together or let the children be adopted by their respective resource families and hope the families will voluntarily keep the siblings in touch with each other? However, today’s best practice standards dictate that if the sibling group has been in placement together they are to stay together even if that means searching for a new home because the resource family will only commit to adopting some of the siblings. Of course, such a move will need to be carefully orchestrated to keep the trauma of separation to a minimum for the children, especially for the younger children who may never have known any other family. It is impossible to guess why a particular agency made the decision they did in a particular case but it is quite possible that the decision that had to be made does not reflect an agency’s stance on sibling placements. Most workers – and the agencies – care very much about making the best possible decisions for the children in their care.
As for your personal situation, it might help you to know there is pending legislation that will expand the right for an adoptee wanting to search for their birth family to include siblings. Hopefully, that will help your children have an easier time locating and making contact with their sibling in the future.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA.
To the family who is new to the matching process and needs to vent –
I understand why you are frustrated when it appears that a worker is just going through the motions of looking for a family for a child. I assume before you started your adoption journey, you spent a lot of time deciding if this was the right path for you to take. Foster families go through the same process. When they decided to become foster parents they understood the goal of children placed in their home would be reunification with the birth family and their focus would be short term placement. Reunification is a reality for over 65% of the children placed in foster care. When that doesn’t work, the county worker will ask the foster parents if they want to make a permanent commitment to the child – adoption. Some foster families were always hoping that some day they would be able to adopt and the decision is easy. For others, adoption was never anything they considered as their “job” was to help a child move on, move back to the their birth family system. Because the foster family didn’t say “yes” when they were asked, the agency is required by PA law to list the child on PA’s website – adoptpakids.org. During the same time that families are expressing an interest in the child, the foster family is processing the idea that this child will be leaving their family and for this particular child it doesn’t have to be that way. They start realizing they don’t have to go through the grieving process this time and they start thinking about what it would be like to have this child in their family forever and they make the decision to adopt.
While it is absolutely frustrating to prospective parents when this happens, it is the best option for the child if they don’t have to move again. After each move it is harder for a child to attach to others and to trust adults. Adoption is child-centered which means we are looking for families for the children, not children for the families. Please don’t give up. We need committed adoptive families for our waiting children. PA hosts two statewide matching events every year and there are local events in different regions around the state. Go to as many as you can. The adoption journey isn’t easy and the waiting is the hardest part. Find an adoptive parent support group in your area so you can talk to other families who have been in your shoes. If you would like me to help you identify a support group or a matching event, call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 and we can get in touch.
Sue Zola, RRT in PA.
Thank you Sue Zola for clearing that up,however it just seems hard on the pre- adoptive families.I just got the word also that they are not adopting all of the sibling group so now they are splitting them up.I guess some were placed in a different foster home.
As I am new to the process,I am not new to the system and I understand that it is never good for children to be moved around,however I am also aware that in some cases there is a "better" match for the children then the foster parent.For this reason there is so many disruptions.This is why I cannot understand why if the child is listed and the foster family decides they want the child , other resources should aslo be looked into.
In fact you said that the foster family is asked first.I cannot understand why an interested family should lose the chance of parenting the child because the foster parent decides at the last minute they do not want to give the child up.I can see that this is going to be a long trying journey and because I am starting over again there is a lot I do not know.
Separating siblings,foster parents deciding to adopt AFTER the children are listed adoptable,long waits,no responses from caseworkers....I know it will be worth it in the end.......
Thank you Sue Zola for clearing that up,however it just seems hard on the pre- adoptive families.I just got the word also that they are not adopting all of the sibling group so now they are splitting them up.I guess some were placed in a different foster home.
As I am new to the process,I am not new to the system and I understand that it is never good for children to be moved around,however I am also aware that in some cases there is a "better" match for the children then the foster parent.For this reason there is so many disruptions.This is why I cannot understand why if the child is listed and the foster family decides they want the child , other resources should aslo be looked into.
In fact you said that the foster family is asked first.I cannot understand why an interested family should lose the chance of parenting the child because the foster parent decides at the last minute they do not want to give the child up.I can see that this is going to be a long trying journey and because I am starting over again there is a lot I do not know.
Separating siblings,foster parents deciding to adopt AFTER the children are listed adoptable,long waits,no responses from caseworkers....I know it will be worth it in the end.......
To Depressed –
You are right, foster parents are adopting most of the children in foster care with the goal of adoption. We are actively recruiting families willing to focus on the needs of a child, not the adult’s needs. That means a family is willing to provide emergency care, foster care or permanency for a child; that the child never has to move unless he/she is returning to the birth family. We have even changed the name from “foster family” to “resource family” to help families – and professionals - understand the changes we are making on behalf of the children. When a child’s goal is changed by the court from reunification to adoption, the resource parents are asked first if they want to make a permanent commitment to the child. For the child who has spent months/years in one home and has made significant attachments, being able to stay in that home permanently is best in terms of the child’s psychological well-being. Separations are wounding, traumatizing events for a child and keeping them to a minimum – as you acknowledged – is best for the child. Another family might be able to provide more opportunities or more assets but what “feels” like home to the child is best for the child, no matter how that home may be perceived by others. Of course, a child can’t stay where they aren’t safe and they have been safe while living with the resource family. I know this philosophy makes it harder for families who only want to adopt but we have learned from our youth, many of whom are now adults, this is what is best for our children.
Please don’t give up on your adoption journey, we still need families wanting to adopt the children who are waiting, 70% of them are over the age of ten, and many of them are part of a sibling group that needs to be placed together. Ask your agency about local and statewide matching events (the children are not at the events but their workers are) you can attend and be prepared to attend more than one before you find a match. Each time you talk to a child’s worker you are making yourself known not only for that child but also for other children that worker will be handling in the future.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA
Anon in PA
I will start off by saying "YES" it will be worth the wait and the frustration.
I will agree with you that the system is very faulty and very difficult to understand.
While I live in PA twice now I have been selected for children ( not in PA) and at the last minute it has fallen thru due to foster parents who decided at the last minute to adopt. I was disappointed but felt that it was good for the children that they didnt have to be moved again. It is simply part of this process and if one can find a way to do so, being prepared for this and not becoming too attached or set on being placed with a certain child(ren) is the way I have found this easiest to emotionally deal with.
It is true that blogging, finding a support group or having friends and family to "vent" is also helpful. However, the people I talk to and the groups I have encountered all have the same complaints with the system, not just here in PA but all over the country.
I, too, thank Sue for responding and while her comments are helpful and explanatory, it still doesnt ease the frustrations involved. I realize that your position as an RRT does not give you control over the agencies or counties that are placing the PA children thus I would assume at times your job is also frustrating.
I have spent three years searching for children in PA. While I do have one PA child that will be finalized soon, he came to me quite by accident. My other two sons are out of state and I have just been selected and approved for 2 other children, of course, out of state. While I would not change my mind about the two coming into my home nor would I ever for any reason give up my sons already here, I think that there was a place here for 4 PA children that was never utilized.
When I first started the process and since I was actively looking for children with special needs, like Autism, Downs, etc., even though I had done Therapeutic Foster Care for many years as well as was a TSS for just as many years and had raised 4 bio sons. two of who had mental health diagnoses, I was rejected ( by those PA workers that actually responded to me) because I didnt have the experience they were looking for. Now that I have special needs children in my home, again for those that bother to respond which is seldom, I am told I have too many children with special needs to provide for others with those needs.
Just recently I contacted the county caseworker for info concerning the child I am finalizing with and she referred me back to my adoption worker as well as others to answer my questions. These were relevant questions concerning his case and if my adoption worker had known the answers I wouldnt have bothered to email the worker. I received very pert and short answers from her. There was no reason for this, especially since when I first met her she stated she was so glad to see me come along as had I not she doesnt think they would have ever found a home for my son. Yet, I dont even deserve a call from her or a decent, polite answer to my questions.
I think what caseworkers and agencies are not "GETTING" is that we as prospective parents are not as upset with the way the system works, such as how families are chosen or even the length of time we wait, but that the responses we get, WHEN we do even recieve them are rude and sometimes condesending.
This is a "business", as hard as that is to accept, and there is no other business I can think of that would in fact treat their clients in such a manner. If they did they would be out of business before very long. Maybe if we were treated in a better light so many would not give up and there would be a greater pool of families to select from and more children might be placed.
Personally, I dont care why I wasnt chosen as long as the children find a home and are well cared for. I dont care if a worker reads my study and for whatever reason tosses it in the trash. What I would like to know is why in the world, when this is their jobs, I cannot even recieve an email or standard form letter stating that I was not selected or considered? I think that is all a lot of us really want.
I, along with many others in PA, have found the matching events to be useless. It is costly to attend if you have to travel any distance and most of the time it turns out to be a waste. The same workers that are out there NOT responding to our inquiries are
the same workers who are at the matching events.
I have been to the Ohio web site many times and while I find it lacking in being updated, at least when you read the narrative it specifically states that the foster parents have applied or are interested in adopting the children. I think this saves everyone a lot of time, frustration and work. I dont know why PA can utilize this on their site as well.
Again, I am not being critical of Sue as I realize she has no control over the counties and the agencies. However, I think people should be aware that there are problems across the board with the system and everyone do what they are able to do, whether writing letters or making phone calls to try to get elected officials to take notice and institute some sorely needed changes.
I am approved to both foster and adopt but my main goal is to adopt.I have not gorren any matches as of yet although it is VERY early in the game for me.This is why I am focusing on adoption.
I am actively searching the Pae adoption website as well as out of state but its like the same on all of them.They children are already match before they are featured and it's the "legal formality" to list them.
Recently I went to an adoption event and there were children and workers there.
There seemed to not be a lot of interaction between prospective parents and adoption workers.In fact I made some inquiries aout some children to the worker and he seemed to be discouraging about any the children I asked about.
I can see that this will not be easy and from the majority of the post from Pa I see it will not happen overnight.I would only hope that "resourse families" would make up their mind before they post children on the Pae sites,this being done could elimanate the need to post children that have a family identified and that adoption workers could at least ANSWER request for information.If I am asking about a child I must be interested.
I have to agree with the post here in Pennsylvania, and I also agree that if a foster parent want to adopt a child,they should not list them or do as Ohio does.
Also if the child is listed(which means the foster parents have decided not to adopt them) the foster parent should not be able to "change their minds" at the last minute.
If what is said here is true counties are already overloaded with paperwork,getting tons of family profiles for a child that the resourse family decides they want to keep,means that a family profile may never be read or at worse simply trashed.
This has happened to me as well in at least 5 occasions including an inquiry in Ohio.
I have adopt in the past all from Pa and all due to disruption.My 4 children were moved at grand total of 44 times(between all 4 of them).
I also know from experience that some children are stronger then others.The moves made it hard on my children,but it was not traumatic as some say numerous moves are.
Today with the exception of 2, who have made a lot of progress,my children are all well,and waiting for a new adoptive placement.
I think at times we do not give children enough credit.Especially in my case,my children were able to bond very well with my family,even though they had moved so many times and were all in adoptive homes before I got them.
I also agree that the matching site tend to be a waste of time,when the workers seem to be to busy to talk to you or are there to socialize.I have encountered this as well.Plus they are too expensive,I mean there are some that are hundreds od dollars.
In closing I think it is sad when those of us are forced to look in other states because our own state, seems to be so difficult.
There really needs to be a change,for the sake of the children.
I can't help but respond to this last post, about photolisting websites as a 'waste of time.'
Yes, sometimes it is a legal formality to list kids on those sites. Sometimes workers have ulterior motives and list kids on those sites knowing that they will get no valid inquiries, so that they can prove to the judges who are ordering that they do general recruitment that a different plan needs to be made. Information about each child is often out-of-date because those sites aren't run by the workers themselves, and/or workers can't instantaneously transmit status information to those who do.
Most importantly, the goal is to do what's best for the kids. It's about finding a family for the child, not the other way around. Who can argue that placing a child with the foster family they've lived with, been supported by, and attached to is not the best for a child? It's a shame for the other families who are interested, for sure, but if a foster family who may have needed some time to think about it changes their mind and wants to give that child a permanent home, then hooray!
I have heard the statement "It's about finding a family for the child, not the other way around" more than once and I think as long as the system maintains this naive approach, nothing will improve. It is like saying a wife marries a husband, not the other way around. The reality is it has to be a mutual fit for everyone. It has to be finding a family for a child AND finding a child for a family.
In defense of the "waste of time" comment, the comment was directed at matching events, not the web sites. I agree that many times the caseworkers at the matching events are busy chatting with each other and either socializing, maybe they call it "networking" to pay much attention to the families that are present to learn about available children. It may well be that all matching events are not like this however I think that those of us who do feel like it is a waste of time feel this way due to the overall faults in the system.
I myself have quit even looking for children on PAE because of the lack of responses from PA caseworkers. I still dont see why it would be an issue to do like Ohio and add a sentence stating "foster parents have applied to adopt". When I see this on the web site I know that these children are in the process of being placed thus I dont waste my time or the caseworkers time with an inquiry.
I am not totally clear on who updates or is able to put the actual info on the photolisting sites but if not the caseworkers, who? I understood that in fact, like on this site, the caseworkers do in fact have access to the narratives for the children. If someone from AdoptUsKids could inform us of how the children's narratives come to this site and how they are posted, it would be great to know for sure. I would like to feel like I am not blaming the wrong people. I have always assumed, just like the caseworkers have access to our family profiles that they would have access to their caseloads on the site. Perhaps I am wrong.
I think the point that was trying to be made is that it takes MONTHS for a decision to be made concerning the placement of a child(ren). There are many of us who have been told we were being seriously considered as the family for certain children and we wait with anticipation for the lengthy process to unfold only at the end to be told, if we are ever even given a reason, that the children are remaining with the foster family.
Certainly the way the system is set up it is not the fault of the caseworker that they by law have to search for the best family for the child. By law, they also have to search first for a family that is able and willing to take the child with no subsidy, also. Yes, they do in fact need to provide documentation to the courts revealing their efforts to get a child placed in a permanent setting. These "facts" and regs are why we all have said at one time or the other that the system itself needs to change.
It seems ridiculous to require workers to spend their time, when many are over loaded with cases, reading and considering studies when the foster family is the first choice and will be picked. It seems ridiculous and time consuming for those of us who are interested in those children. And, in the meantime, while we are waiting for some kind of response, other kids who we might have had an interest in are sitting and lingering because many people once told they are being considered stop searching and wait to hear about the particular children they are being considered for. Myself, I have learned not to do this but to continue to inquire even down to the day before a child would be placed with me.
And, while I dont think there are any of us who would disagree that if the child can be placed in a familiar home with foster parents it is the best for the child, there is a hint of not being fair to the people who are willing to take the children. I think the whole issue is this, and it is a real situation. I know of a sib group who had the goal of adoption for over 18 months. The foster parents stated over that time period that they were not willing to adopt. The foster parents had the entire 18 months to change their minds but did not do so until a family had been selected for the group and there was a visit scheduled by the "new" parents. The children knew of the visit, had learned about their "new" parents and were being prepared for the move. How is this fair to anyone involved. It is still not to say that in the long haul that the decision for the children to remain with the only parents they had known wasnt the best decision for the kids. I just dont think it was fair for the kids to have been prepared for leaving and the potential adoptive parents to have come that far in the process only to be told at the last minute that the foster parents decided to follow thru with adoption. Saying that something isnt "fair" is a long cry from saying that the decision was "wrong". It isnt "fair" that these children sometimes linger in the system for years and age out, but that is the fault of the system. We can all think something isnt fair but know that it was for the best. I can say it wasnt "fair" that Mr. Jones up the street who is already rich won the lottery but I didnt but that doesnt mean I cannot still be happy for him. But, I still have to wonder why it took a foster family 18 months before they could find it in their hearts to provide the children who had been in their home for years to decide to adopt.
Again, I think the point is that if PA and other states would do like Ohio does, there would be many less inquiries on children we all know are not really available. Why would it be so difficult to state to people up front that while the foster parents are applying to adopt the caseworker is accepting studies? This would at least allow us to know the "risk" we are taking if we would send our study for consideration. It would seem to me that this would allow caseworkers the time to devote to placing other children who are not as fortunate to remain in their current situation. It would save adoption workers wasted time with phone calls that are never returned and studies sent out that are probably never read but just thrown in the trash. It would save the potential adoptive parents the frustration of waiting to hear news on a child or children who are already potentially placed.
This is a very emotional process for each of us who are going thru it. We all feel sure we are good parents and could provide a wonderful home for the "right" child. There are those of us who have in fact adopted in the past and done just that. We all feel sure there are children out there who would be a good fit in our homes and who would do great. The snag in this whole thing is that is seems to be the system that is NOT allowing these matches to be made. It is the system that is frustrating, whether you live in PA or WI or FL. Those of us who are complaining about the system are doing so partly because we are tired of waiting but MOSTLY because the children are waiting.
Personally, while both of the placements in which I experienced last minute changes, while I was disappointed I was in fact pleased and happy that the children were in familiar and loving homes. However, in both of these cases it was also rather infuriating because not only did someone step in at the last minute, I wasnt informed promptly of this and thought for weeks that I was going to have these kids placed in my home. Someone simply "forgot" to inform me.
I am currently in the process of being placed with more children. Everything is in place and it is a matter of meeting with the caseworker and scheduling visits. While there is a part of me that is elated, I keep that in check because I KNOW that there could be one little thing that could in fact change the whole scenario. There is a part of me that wants to rush around and get everything in place, some new clothes, toys, etc but I will not do that until the last possible minute because I know that there is a chance it might not happen. There is a part of me that wants to get really excited when discussing this with my other children but I always find myself saying something like "of course, if all goes as planned or if it all works out" because I know something could change. Keeping myself in some kind of "check" is the only way I know to prevent devastation if in fact for some reason it does fall thru. And while it is true that the children are the first consideration, there will be many others who are affected if it would not happen as it is supposed to happen. There is no way to avoid this and it is something that we all need to address as it is just part of the system.
My post did not say the photolisting sites were a waste of time.On the contrary, the sites are a great way and the only way I am told to see the children that are out there.
What I said was that the matching site (meaning matching parties ect)TEND to be waste of time when the workers come and show no interest in the families that come to them.
I have encountered this personally.In fact a recent event I took all my children to, as I was talking to a worker about a child,he was helpful but seemed to try to put "discouragement" on me when I inquired about several of thechildren in his caseload.
You don't have to tell me about the goal of what is best for the children,I have been in this field a lot longer then some people have.All of my children came from disruptions of what was thought to be the best for the children.You also don't need to tell me about disruption, if you read my post you will see my children went through 44 of them ans they are all fine and well.
The bottom line is what is best for the child and from my experience the workers do not always know.
Yes I am in agreement that if a resource family is working well for the child, then the child should remain in their care,however I cannot be in agreement that if they decide to keep the child after they are posted,why the counties cannot at least consider families who have already sent in studies,
I am sorry but that is my feeling on this.I was given the opportunity 8 years ago I took it and my children were NEVER listed on the websites.AND this happened 3 times!!!
A friend of mine did the same thing this year and her children ages 1 and 3 also were never listed.
I agree that it has to be a mutual fit as Anon mentioned and I do think that there are many families out there who dont fit the child simply because there are caseworkers who are looking at their idea of the perfect family for the child vs the child's idea of a perfect family. In fact, I should not even be using the word "perfect" as there is no such thing. I think there are many families out there who are willing to do what is needed to become the right family for a child and I do believe that while there may be some minor issues that may not perfectly match the criteria, there is a lot to be said for a family who says they are willing to go the extra mile to learn or train for specific needs or issues. If the system keeps children from being placed considering minor differences the alternative is for the children to linger in care. Is that any less harmful to the child than being a little more flexible when matching a child to a family? I think there are times when a caseworker sees something minor as an issue but if the children were asked it probably wouldnt matter to the child.
Again, I would like to state that in my case the foster parents of the children I adopted were able to read the studies and then speak to the prospective families at length and then permitted to give their opinions as to who they thought would be the best match for the children. This seems to make total sense to me as having been a foster parent for many years I know that no one knows the child better than the people who have lived with and raised them. I would think that this would be standard procedure when considering that the placement of the child is supposedly so "team" oriented.
Does anyone else out there know of this being done in their own state? I think it is a valuable resource that should not be over-looked for the sake of the child.
Hi all:
I agree with the blogger who said that the meet & match events are a waste of time. I have been attending them for almost two years and, early on, I got the impression that they were merely opportunities for caseworkers to socialize with other caseworkers. Prospective families are too often ignored when we want to discuss children the caseworkers have available. For instance, I went to a meet & match event recently in Lancaster, PA and I waited to speak to a SW about some children on a flier she had. She spent about 20 minutes talking to some guy about personal business and she had her back to us. There were other people who walked up and picked up the flier on the children, but they didn't stop to say anything because the woman was too engrossed in conversation. For the entire length of her conversation, she never turned around to acknowledge the presence of those of us who stopped to get a flier and/or who were patiently waiting to talk to her. After standing for some time, I finally sat in a chair and waited until there was a break in the SW's conversation with the guy before I approached her. Perhaps the SW's should get customer service training so that they are better able to talk with those who make face-to-face inquiries about children.
I also have a problem with SW's presuming that they know us based on little or no info on us. It is condescending to be told what we can or cannot handle by someone who knows little or nothing about us.
I agree that saying that agencies are "trying to find families for children, not children for families" is silly. Families should be matched to children AND children to families. Also, I'm reading the narratives on children and many of them say that "the child should be either the youngest or the only child in the household." This makes it even more difficult to find families for these kids because most of us don't want just one child in our family. I don't know about most of you, but I'd settle for as many children as I can get.
I also get the feeling that more agencies than not are trying to FORCE people to be foster parents. I say this as someone who was NOT interested in fostering because of the terrible stories I had heard for decades from those who had been foster parents. I'm strictly interested in adopting because the sooner I get rid of the middleman (i.e. the agency) the better for the child(ren) in my care. I firmly believe that the agencies are doing a lot more harm than good. I'm sure that my interest in removing the middleman will be seen in a negative light (i.e. Law & Order: Sinister Intent - LOL), but I have come to distrust the child welfare system. And I've only been dealing with them for less than two years.
Like many of you, I'm completely frustrated with the way the system "works." Here it is fast approaching the end of the summer and many of us still have no children placed with us. Since getting involved with the child welfare system, I feel as if I'm a sane person in an insane asylum screaming, "I'm not insane!" Char
To the poster who said it needs to be a mutual fit, you are right.We all want to find a child,however if the fit is not right,almost always it does not work out.
That naive statement should be "fixed" along with the problems in the system.
To the poster who said it needs to be a mutual fit, you are right.We all want to find a child,however if the fit is not right,almost always it does not work out.
That naive statement should be "fixed" along with the problems in the system.
I completely agree with the person who said " The reality is it has to be a mutual fit for everyone. It has to be finding a family for a child and finding a child for a family".It's a two way road.
"We find parents for children, not children for parents" has long been the motto of the Children's Home Society. I have been pointedly reminded of that more than once as I have dealt with the local chapter. KnowwhatImean?
Times have changed.I't time for a new motto
Hi Char
I have to agree with you about doing foster care. I had done foster care for years and when I decided I wanted to adopt was "talked into" doing foster-to-adopt being told it was about the only way to adopt a child and made my chances better. Fortunatley I only wasted a year with this agency which I and others who have worked with them consider direputable and are very misleading.
I dont think there is anything sinsiter in wanting to eliminate the "middle" man. I had a higher education and more experience with children with behavioral issues than many of the foster care workers I worked with but I was still treated like I didnt have a clue about raising children or how to deal with issues. I, also, worked quite a bit with one caseworker who in fact had several children of her own, all under 8, and had the opportunity to be at several functions with her and her children and she had absolutely no control over them and had absolutely no parenting skills at all. I am not talking about some minor issues with these children, I am talking so out of control that people were leaving to get away from her kids. Yet, this is the person who came into my home and was "telling" me what and what not to do with the children I was fostering.
I think sometimes, while it is unavoidable, the foster system itself is confusing for children. Different foster agencies have different guidelines as far as what can and cannot be done in the home, etc. Some counties, as I have mentioned before, have extreme regs that make it impossible for a child to be even remotely normal. I know a young man in foster care who had started working at age 15 to save for a car and insurance. He turned 18 in foster care but was in his senior year so was permitted to stay in the system however, the agency refused to allow him to purchase a car and because of this he quit school and left the system. The foster parents trusted him enough to feel he could handle this responsiblity but the agency didnt. I often wonder whatever happened to him. And, I dont have so much of a problem when rules are put into place for the sake of the children, but many of the rules are to protect the agency itself from being in a position of being sued. So sad. So, I do understand what you mean and I sometimes do think it goes much better once there isnt that third party involved as children are very good a figuring out how to work the system.
I am fortunate that my adoption worker while always there for me if I need to vent or need to think thru a situation, never has questioned my parenting skills or attempted to tell me what I should or shouldnt do. Of course if there was abuse or neglect involved she would step in as she has done in other cases, but she is very low key. She seems very aware that different people have different parenting styles and as long as it is working,
so rest assured there are probably many of us who have worked in the system long enough to totally agree with what you are saying.
I agree that too many SW's are looking for "perfect" families when they don't exist. This is probably one of the reasons why the rules were changed years ago to allow a variety of families to foster/adopt instead of focusing on wealthy, heterosexual couples living in the suburbs with a stay-at-home mom. Based on the demographics in America, it wasn't realistic then and it isn't realistic now for the majority of families, especially since either both parents now work outside the home or the parent is single and has to work.
The SW's unrealistic expectations are also causing children to rot in the system. I believe that more changes have to take place to get SW's to focus on the quality of the family instead of the quantity of things they have. Also, we are told in orientation that we don't have to be rich to foster/adopt, but the focus is too often on what a family has (i.e. a bedroom for each child, a large house in the suburbs, or an MBA = mega bank account). I'm not against this idea, but it still focuses on wealth. Many American families have children sharing rooms. This is also not the way it's going to remain because the American dream of doing better in life over time is still in effect. For example, if I foster/adopt two small children, especially of the same gender, I don't see why they cannot share a room. It seems more compassionate to do it this way so that the foster/adopt children can get acquainted with their new surroundings, their new home. Of course, if the children are older and/or different genders, then they need their own rooms. With all that said, recognize that the rules for fostering/adopting may have changed on paper, but the practice often hasn't kept pace.
Also, I think that too many SW's eliminate good, wholesome families by emphasizing petty things instead of looking at the overall quality of the family. If goodness and wholesomeness were emphasized, more children would definitely be placed. Afterall, don't we want loving, stable homes for children in care? Char
Hi Char
I think I told you this before but unless there is a large age discrepancy, I have never heard that children (without some very specific reasons, like sexual issues) are not permitted to share the same room. It sounds to me like this is in fact agency policy as I know it is not state policy. I was just recently looking over the state regs for foster care agencies and did not see any minimum requirements as far as room size and no where does it say that children cannot share a room. I do know that regs state that children who are over one are not permitted to sleep in the parents room and that once a child is 5 or over cannot share a room with a child of another sex, but there is no reg stating that two girls or two boys of similar age cannot share a room. I know a family that has opened their hearts and their home to 10 children and I can promise you these people dont have a 12 bedroom home, nor do they feel they need one to be excellent parents. Again, an agency has decided they know what is "best" and while they do this it may end up hindering the placement of children.
You are right in that I too think that caseworkers want more than the norm for these children. There is nothing wrong with this but it is unrealisitic in many cases. I, too, happen to think it is not the huge bank account or the material things that are of utmost importance. I understand and agree that the adoptive parents should at minimum be able to provide financially for the childs needs but I dont think that what these children necessarily need are parents who can afford to take them to Disney twice a year, pay for college out of pocket and hire a nanny to help out. That absoultely would be great for the child in question, to have the advantages, but not what they need to become well adjusted, stable adults. They, more than material things, need love, stability and parents who will and can provide them with morals and standards. I also dont think that people stop and think that many of these children come from such poverty stricken homes or homes where the parents live off the system that a parent who can afford simply to take them to dinner once a month seems "rich" to them.
We live in a world where designer clothes and appearances seem to define the person. I believe that needs to change and the focus be on what is inside and not on the outside. I often wonder if we want children who brag about their parents because of the material things the parents are providing or a child who brags because their parents are always there for them, love them unconditionally and emotionally support them? I am not saying that the two of these cannot be meshed and provided at the same time, just that the latter is what is the most important.
It brings to mind an incident I had. I had a caseworker in my home once that realized I didnt have a dishwasher and this really caught her attention. Off and on during the visit she brought this up. NO - I dont have a diswasher nor do I plan on getting one in the near future. I dont mind doing dishes by hand. I brought up the "idea" to her that dishes have become a family affair for our family, like dinner. We eat, we clear off the table and we all have jobs related to dishes that even the smallest child can do. My 2 1/2 yr old grandson has made it very clear his job is to put away the silverware. (NOthing sharp of course). We talk and laugh while we are doing this and it has become a way to share the chores in an enjoyable manner. She just looked at me with amazement and said something like, the kids help with dishes?, It really did take all I had to just not roll on the floor laughing. I am not saying that not having a dishwasher caused me any problems with her, it just seemed that she was beside herself that this was just not a part of my household.
I have run into many many families that feel as we do, that the most important things we have to offer children is sometimes overlooked. Suzie may want to go to college and plan to go to college, but for those that cannot afford to pay out of pocket those expenses, there is financial aid. A week camping in tents at a state park can provide a wonderful bonding experience for all involved vs a whilrwind week at Disney World. Going to the local pool and meeting new friends and socializing can be more valuable than the backyard pool.
We all, at least most of us, have to earn our way thru the world we live in . There are many out there who have made their millions by way of cheating the common man and underhanded techniques. These people are viewed with awe and considered to have status. Personally, I think that the honest working class people out there are the ones who deserve the credit and should be thought of as the "winners". We live honest, realisitic lives and we strive to make the world a better place through our children and our contributions to the community and society in general. In my mind, those are the important things in life.
Chmae
Chmae,
I agree with you that the size of the bank account should not be considered and in my experience it never has. We are one of those families a SW looking at our home study would think could go to Disney World twice a year. To date we have never received special consideration or any consideration for that matter, both in-state and out-of-state. We are in the same ignored by the system boat everyone else seems to be in.
Sue
I was just reading your Aug 20 post to me (Chmae) and I appreciate your response. I am glad to hear that children in PA are being placed and finalized.
I personally think the biggest fault in the system in PA is that fact that all of the counties operate independently and there are no set regs/rules regarding the process itself.
May I ask if you have any statistics you would be willing to share concerning these placements? Are the children going to couples, single parents, certain areas of the state, etc? What type of children are being placed? Do you have the statistics to compare how many adoptive families there are compared to available children.? Are there certain agencies in PA that are placing children more than others? This could explain a lot. My observations from PAE are that it seems to be the younger children, sib groups that are finding homes and not the older children. I see many children on the web site that I have seen there for the past 3 years or so and quite honestly, many of them are children I have inquired about.
I think what frustrates some of us the most is there are some of us out there who are not looking for the younger children, who are very flexible and would be willing to take a very special child if a call was made to us. There are those of us who have the experience and willingness to provide a loving home to a child(ren) who would be considered extremely difficult to place. And it would only make sense to us, the people on the other side of the issue, the caseworkers, would be jumping at the chance to speak with anyone willing to do so. That just doesnt seem to be the case.
I know at times I must sound like I am bashing PA and I guess that maybe I do, but it is the only way I know to draw attention to the faults in the system. And, it doesnt seem to be just me that has issues with PA. I have a large networking group and the majority, I would say 99% of these people, have adopted and none of their kids are PA kids. When reading the blogs I see more people from PA that are seeing what I and others are seeing than seemed satisfied with the current system.
I would gladly call you however it is a moot point right now. I am currently in the process of being placed with two boys from out of state and I think, for the most part, this will make my family complete. Once my new sons are settled in I have room for one, possibly two, more children and I am considering in the future searching for a daughter and would very much like an older child from PA. These boys have some very specific and "special" needs and my first concern is to see that they are settled and are receiving the care they require and deserve. If I decide at some point to pursue this and continue running into brick walls, I will gladly contact you for any advice you can give.
I would also like to state that while I do understand and agree that resource families are most often the best fit for the children, that it seems unfair and almost discriminatory to pass by adoptive homes only and not seriously consider them as a permanent resource. I dont think any of us are against the fact that children are remaining in homes that are stable and secure. I think that many of us are just frustrated with NOT knowing that this will be the final outcome for the child. Again, it would seem that it may be much easier and less time consuming if caseworkers could simply state that the "foster parents have applied to adopt". This allows those of us inquiring to know that the odds are against us from the beginning and allows us to move on to other children who do not have that status. This must be legal and not against IV-E regs or Ohio could not be doing it. And, for those of us who do receive a response or manage to make contact with a worker, I dont understand why it would be so difficult for the worker to just be honest and say that the foster family is indeed at the top of the list for the children in question as well as stating they would be glad to consider our study but that the odds are the child will remain in their current placement. I dont think anyone out there expects a child to be moved or a foster family to be pushed to the side simply for the sake of considering another family.
I will keep in mind your suggestion to keep track of all inquiries, dates, etc so that in the future these can be reported to higher authorities. A non-responsive worker, while irritating and frustrating for me and others, when it comes down to it is only hurting the chances for a child to find a home. Again, an automated email would even be sufficient. A call from a receptionist on behalf of the worker just simply stating "your family hasnt been chosen" would suffice, also. When you speak to a worker about a child and ask them if they know if your study was considered or the status of the child and they simply respond with "if you havent heard anything back in several months that means you havent been chosen" - well - that kind of sums up the way things work with some of us here in PA. I know I am not alone in this.
Sue, I would like to thank you for responding to the comments and questions presented on the blog. I think it is always important that we are able to see all sides of the issues. I know your time is valuable and you must be a busy person so taking the time to respond is commendable.
Chmae
PS I would also like to add that sometimes being in the fost to adopt situation acutally limits your search for children. I found while doing this that many children came to me as emergency placements and were not in fact children that fit my preferences or that I would have been willing or able to take permanently. And, since reunification is always the first and foremost goal whenever possible (as it should be) a child can be in your home for months and months before leaving to return to the bio family or a relative. Since there are state limits on how many foster children one can have in their home and since some agencies have their own regs and limits on the number of children in your home, a foster family can wait even longer than an adoptive family because if in fact children who would fit are available, they are placed elsewhere due to the foster home being full. And because none of us wants to see children moved unless necessary, an agency or foster parent is not likely to request that move just based on making room for a pre adoptive placement. I know the agency I left, for many reasons but this being part of it, placed children in my home that THEY thought should be there, not based on the preferences that I had. And, I know for a fact there were several children who I would have gladly adopted thru the same agency that I wasnt even considered a permanent resource because I did not have room for any more children. Maybe this is not standard practice, I hope that it is not, but it happens and it can and does hinder permanent placements.
Chmae:
Your comments are timely. I did the same thing with the toddler who was in my home last year. While I vacuumed, she used her toy vacuum to "help." We had a lot of fun doing chores together and I think too many people don't do these small things with their own kids, so they are perplexed by it. We also did other fun things like play tag in the house. I'm also glad that wealth and/or material possessions aren't viewed as the main factors when children are placed. I have a modest home in a decent neighborhood where children can actually get a private school education at public school costs. I also prefer to do activities in the neighborhood, go to sporting events any children I have are participating in, or visit with family and friends. I find that many of the best things in life are free, meaning that attending activities the children are participating in or doing things around the house with the children are priceless. I like being involved this way. All you have to think of is when you buy your kid a toy and the child is more fascinated with the box the toy was in than the toy itself to know what's important to them, namely, being with you. Char
Question: I am not totally clear on who updates or is able to put the actual info on the photolisting sites but if not the caseworkers, who?
Answer: The narratives are entered by the case worker or the person responsible for registering and managing the cases on Adoptuskids.org. AUK does not edit or change the narrative content.
First, I would like to say that I in no way meant to infer that people who were better off financially would be selected for a child before another family just based on wealth. I apologize if it came across that way. The only point I was attempting to make is that someone with a moderate income can and often is a very good parent and they should not be overlooked. Again, I apologize if anyone took offense to my comments.
THANK YOU KATE!!!! I appreciate so much your prompt response to my question concerning who in fact has access to the narratives to do the updates. If I understand you correctly it is either the caseworker for the children or someone designated by an agency to do the posting. I had always believed that to be the case, however when another blogger brought up that the caseworker cannot update the information on a child, I began to wonder if I was blaming the worker when it was not the fault of the worker. It seems to me that from what you said the caseworkers have access to the narratives on their children and are able to update at any given time. I dont know if this is true of other sites but it seems it is for this one. Again, "foster family has applied to adopt" - that took about 5 seconds for me to type those words that say so very much!!!!
I really do wish that some caseworkers would respond on this blog. I honestly think that there would be much more sympathy and understanding if we knew the reasons our requests are ignored. I hate thinking that the caseworkers are simply not doing their jobs because this infers to me that they really dont care if the kids are placed or not. It would be much easier to "attack" they system if we knew that caseworkers are simply overwhelmed with their work load and dont have the time to respond to every inquiry. It would also give many of us a basis to lodge complaints with our counties and states to hire an adequate number of people to comfortably deal with the cases.
There is no doubt in my mind that many times there are incidents involving families where children are hurt or injured and it was simply because a caseworker had time constraints and was not able to keep up with the case load. I am sure there are many workers out there who have talked to supervisors and specifically related this information only to be told to do their best. And, I do feel bad when we see the cases like in DC or Philly where a child becomes seriously endangered or harmed because of the lack of supervision, not just for the children but for the caseworkers as I am sure they become the "fall guys" and are the first to be fired. I also think in many cases the hands of the caseworker are tied by laws that are not designed to protect the children but to accomodate parental rights. Having and understanding the side of the caseworker would be so beneficial in establishing ways in which we, as caring human beings, could pressure legislators to make much needed changes to the system. I believe that there are many of us who could be of support in that respect not just as adoptive parents but because we genuinely care about the welfare and safety of ALL children. I believe that many of us are complaining and concerned with the system, not because children arent being placed with us, but because our system is failing miserably at protecting our children. ALL of the children out there are OUR children, they are our future and they all deserve the best services and treatment humanly possible for them. Making a stink is the only way many changes are ever made thus if that is what it takes I think many of us are willing to do so. I am "mouthy" and very opinionated and I speak up every chance I get when I know what the issues are, HOWEVER, how can I speak up for what changes need to be made to make the casewokers jobs easier and better for the children when I dont know the reasons they are lacking now?
Maybe the system is making changes and maybe things are in fact becoming better, I dont know. What I do know is that if we can all come together as a team and demand of our elected officials that there are adequate services for our children then everyone benefits. That means adoptive parents, foster parents, school personnel, caseworkers, adoption agencies, and anyone else working with children in the system. We could in fact present a force that could not be ignored.
Chmae
Ummm back to the RRT thing. We have been registered on this site for almost 6 years and have NEVER had anyone call to check on us at all. We would love help on navigating the system or any help at all on how to actually get responses from workers after we inquire etc. Or just knowing how different states work. Sorry to be a hassle but how do we find out if we have an RRT?
Hello all. I just learned of this "blog" site this morning. And although I have tried to read the comments, there are just so many (and at length) I can't begin to respond to everyone. I am a county worker at C&Y in PA. I must say I am shocked with the poor responses I see on here.
Let me start with saying that my agency has had approx. 60+ children adopted so far in 2008. On the same note, I would guess 90% of those children were adopted to their previous foster families or kinship families, as we try to aim for stabilty and keeping families (sibs) together as a priority.
I do attend matching events, where we actively search for families, only to learn they are generally seeking children "birth to 3 years" and "adoption only." I wish family workers would explain this is just not reality. But we go to every event anyway - just to find a match for that one child. If it's only one match, its worth it. I wish families would feel the same way about these events "maybe this time is it," they are a great resource for connections..
Most of the children from my county pictured on PAE for years and years are the kids who actually have the most special needs (i.e. MR, history of abuse, or a teen). It is very seldom we get any inquiries about these children - that is why they are on the website so long. I won't ramble on, as I can only imagine the responses/questions I will get from posting. I will try my best to continue on this site to respond to what I can.
Hi All Carrie here,
I want to direct my question mostly to those who live in Pennsylvania.As you know I am hoping to have my study finished by next week to become a resource family.In the past my placements were fast,but I know that will probably not be the case and thats fine.
My question is how long did those certified to foster care wait for a placement,and how long have you been waiting for and adoptive placement.My acency does do out of state placements but I am not sure how that works and how expensive it would be.I am thinking on just looking at Pennsylvania for now and maybe trying Ohio,Virginia and South Carolina in the future.
Thank for any input you can give me.
Carrie
Glad to see you are back. I wont respond to your PA situation because I am an adopt only in PA and feel that I wont be placed anytime soon with a PA child. Quite honestly, I seldom inquire about PA children any longer.
I am currently in the process of being placed with children from out of state and with my other children being out of state I feel I may be able to address some of those questions.
Out of state placements are not difficult nor have any of mine been expensive. I may be fortunate in that my agency and adoption worker does Purchase of Service with other states thus I had only minor expenses. Quite honestly, the state my boys came from paid up front for my flight and while I did have to pay for the hotel, car and meals for the days I was there that was reimbursable at finalization. My older of the two decided he wanted his adoption finalized in his home state thus we used one of their vendor attorneys and I paid no legal fees out of pocket. Again, my home study, supervision, etc was paid for with Purchase of Service by the sending state and as far as I know that is the way it will be handled with the new state I am working with currently.
If you find an adoption worker who is experienced with ICPC then while it may take a little longer for the children to actually be placed in your home due to both states needing to submit paperwork to ICPC, it, in my experience, has not been a major issue. I think when people have experienced hold ups or problems with ICPC and moving the children it has been a worker on one or both ends who hasnt submitted the proper paperwork or done so in a timely fashion.
I cant tell you how VA or SC operate as I have not had any dealings with them. I understand Ohio is considered by some as slow but then again, I have no specific experience with that state. All states are different and if you are willing to do the travel for a visit then if I were you I would certainly not limit myself to just PA.
Good luck
Chmae
To the PA caseworker
Thanks so much for responding.
I think many of us in PA are tired of not getting responses from workers as well as not understanding the process in PA. It sounds as if unless you do the foster to adopt, the likelihood of being placed becomes much less.
It would be wonderful if you could share some info with us. We all wonder if perhaps the lack of responses is due to heavy caseloads, etc and many, many of us wonder if anyone even receives or reads our studies. It would be great if you could share whatever you feel comfortable with as far as the viewpoint of the worker and what all is involved for you.
I personally do not inquire about children in the age group that you mentioned as I am of "advanced" age and for the most part the I prefer to parent children with more severe issues and disabilities. The only real limits I have is that I am not equipped to deal with medical needs (trach/g tubes, etc) and I know from years of doing Therapeutic Foster Care do not have the personality to deal with severe attachment issues, well, three limits because with having children who are mentally limited and not able to totally express myself I do not feel comfortable with a child who has a history of sexually acting out.
I have in fact inquired about many of the older children on PAE over the past few years and can honestly say I have received only 2responses to any inquiries and then never heard another word. What bothers me, is that not knowing all the details about a child, I sometimes feel like they are lingering in the system when I am willing and able to provide them a permanent home but seem to be ignored and not even considered.
I have all boys and my bio children were all boys and I would love to find a daughter (or two) and have been specifically considering a teen. I guess it becomes more difficult when the children become teens as they have more say in their idea of a family and I do understand that.
If you could give all of us some idea of what to expect from the system in PA as well as if there is anything we can do to actually connect with the caseworkers in PA it would be greatly appreciated. We all genuinely want what is best for the kids involved and I think we are all willing to wait for the right child but in PA it seems that no one responds to inquiries. I am glad to hear that your county has placed so many children and glad to know that you yourself was surprised to hear that there are so many complaints in PA. That in fact tells me that you are doing your job and you care for the kids in question.
Thanks and if you have any co workers you can bring on board to this blog that would also be greatly appreciated.
There are many reasons why a caseworker may not respond or things happen not as expected. To be honest, I have probably done the same more times than I would like to admit.
A caseworker's number one responsibility is the safety of the child. As an adoption worker, after TPR has been granted, you are now the legal guardian of this child. All parental duties fall upon you (i.e. doctor's appointments, school enrollment, etc. everything with signatures required) Plus, most of these children have been diagnosed or labeled with something (let's face it - they're in the system) So there's therapy and meds as well. Then there are the 30 day notices and hospitalizations - all of which the CW has to sign or be present for.
I won't get into the amount of paperwork or forms we need to complete regularly, and I'm not trying to make excuses. But can you imagine what its like to be a legal parent for 20+ children at one time - who may or may not live several hours away? Just these basic necessities for children can be very time consuming.
So then the second responsibilty kicks in - adoption. Either completing the adoption paperwork for the kids already matched or beginning the search process to find a match, it may be difficult to sit down and spend 30-45 minutes reading just one home study. I try to read what I can when I can, but its not always enough. That is why I appreciate the matching events out there and we as an agency attend as many as we can. It is the opportunity for us to meet people face to face and get a good feel of what they're about. If there is a "spark" we'll make a point to go back and read the profile. Also, it is not uncommon to read a profile and really like the family, but we try to get 2-3 profiles to compare before bringing families in to interview. (so all interviews are within a week and the decision is made very quickly).
One other side note- not sure if I should say it or not. Profile's aren't everything to us. Some we get are very poorly written. They're a very good source of information, but it doesn't compare to meeting with a family face to face. I hope families are critiquing them themselves before signing their approval. There are times where we read a profile that just does not read well and we bring the family in for an interview anyway, and they turn out to be wonderful. (same thing with Child profiles - may have a bad history or not a good profile, but they truely are a great kid that just gets over looked).
My agency works with SWAN only, as it is our source of funding. Often times we contract with outside agencies (within SWAN) to do our "sorting" of family profiles for us - our CSR workers. They'll pass on the profiles that look like a possible match for me to narrow down and select for an interview.
About most of our kids already matched with their foster parents.. As an agency, our belief is to find permanency for the child from the day we get the first referral. The less moves, the more stability. As someone mentioned before, its not which family can provide better, its whats in the best interest of the child. That family is what the child knows and is comfortable in. If they're safe, thats whats important.
Also, foster parents do have the right to change their mind about not wanting/wanting to adopt. After a child has been in a foster home for 6 months, that foster family has legal standing to keep the child. If we were to remove the child after 6 months, the foster family could fight legally and would probably win custody through the court system. and we as an agency would be forced by the Court to follow through with the adoption. (this has happened)
But again, this is just my experience with my county. Every county in PA runs differently.
Hello Nora,
Thank you for your commitment to adoption and for asking about our RRTs. No, your RRT would have no way of knowing that you would be interested in talking to them unless you either:
1. Fill out our Request-to-be-Contacted form at http://www.adoptuskids.org/RRT/FamilyIntakeRRT.aspx
OR
2. Call AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 so that we can receive your contact information over the phone and fill out the Request-to-be-Contacted form for you.
So, if you are interested in talking to an RRT, I hope that you will use one of those two options. Don’t worry: You have an RRT. There is an RRT for every state in the U.S.
However, if what you are looking for is helpful tips for using AdoptUsKids.org to search for children, then you would want to contact me about that. You can call me at 1-888-200-4005 or email me at info@adoptuskids.org.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
Chmae:
I was signed up as foster-to-adopt and I made it clear on every form that I filled out with my agency that I was interested in adopting the children IF the parents didn't get themselves together and the children became legally available for adoption. I had children placed in my home last year, but there was a problem in that the agency I worked with has two separate sections - one for foster and one for adoption and they don't seem to work together. Also, the foster care section operates in crisis mode, meaning that they are always placing children who are in need of emergency placement. Unfortunately, I was new to the foster-to-adopt process and the initial SW's were not honest with me about the true status of the chldren. I was bascially told a sob story that involved bio mom abandoning the children at a neighbor's house. I was also told that, based on her actions and behavior, she would never get the children back. The SW's also didn't bother to really read my file or they were in such a panic to place the children that they may have randomly selected me because I requested a sibling grp. I treated the children according to the sob story and the false info I was given, which means that the children and I immediately bonded. I was also not told about the fact that bio mom had visitation rights UNTIL after I had signed all the paperwork and was ready to take the children home. Needless to say, it was a total disaaster. To my dismay, I discovered that most of what I had been told were lies -the bio mom WAS in the picture from the beginning and the children should have been placed in permanent foster home, not with me. I have been distrustful of the foster care portion of foster-to-adopt and have since left my agency. I didn't walk into the foster-to-adopt situation with blinders on, but I got blindsided because I was new to foster-to-adopt and all the sources I read, including the PA gov websites, claimed that foster-to-adopt was the easiest way to adopt kids and that the only problem is that the kids are "legal risk," which was acceptable to me. What I realized too is that, once agencies get you to sign on as foster parents, they treat you like a second class citizen. For example, I have spoken to a number of foster parents who wanted to adopt the child(ren) who had been in their care for months or years, but who were shafted by their agencies or insensitive SW's who removed children from the only home they had ever known and placed the kids in permanent adoptive homes. Now, in PA, we have a Foster Parents Bill of Rights which was passed in '06, but no one is either adhering to or enforcing it. Based on my experience, I'm avoiding the foster care route and opting for straight adoption because I don't like the fact that the foster care SW's are operating in panic mode when they are making decisions and the decisions are often poor as a result, meaning that some SW's use manipulation and deception to place children inappropriately. Perhpas this explains why children are moved multiple times? I believe that many others have experienced similar horrors across this country and, like me, have decided to avoid foster care all together. Char
Thank you Chmae,
I have been busy trying to get get things in order.I have finally completed everything and moved into the matching stage.
I have found that this site is one of the best avenues,for those of us to support one another and also to get information.What I have found is that those I work with who are not interested in what I am trying to do cannot offer the support I get from this site.
Chmae, after speaking with my worker I will agree that I need to also include out of state children to my options. You gave me some great pointers that I did not know about and I did not know that there are a lot of states that will help me.I will continue to look in state as well but I will be a lot more open as far as distance.
Congradulations, Chmae on your recent match and I hopeful that things will go well.
Please keep us posted and I will do the same.
Carrie
Just out of curiousity, where have the majority of you had the most success with out of state placements? We are starting one in Texas and it all seems so complicated. I was just wondering if there are easier, or not so easy states to go through on our next adoption.
My comment is on the Pennsylvania Adoption Exchange site and what I have observed.All of the children have a countact number for the caseworker.However,when you contact the worker you get no response,or worse they contact you back and are very nice about answering questions,BUT contact your worker and CHEW them out because you called them directly.
I am confused because if the Pae page is for pre- adoptive families, and the numbers of the workers are listed,why can't we contact them directly?
I was so hurt because the worker I was in contact with was so helpful(or so she seemed), this worker always responded to me promptly.Then went back in "exploded" on my worker who in turn let me have it.
I am sorry if I caused any problems ,but I am not one to let the workers send in the study and sit back and wait for a call to come in. I guess this is what they want me to do.
How many of you in Pennsylvania,let the caseworker do the work,sending in all the studies and contacting all agencies in your behalf ? What was the outcome? Do you feel your wait was longer or shorter?
Hi All
I will try to address some of the comments to the best of my ability.
As far as states that seem to be great with out of state placements, my first two sons are from OR and as I have probably saturtated the subject, I will just say it is an absoulutely wonderful state and bunch of people to work with. I am currently dealing with NJ and I have been told by others and my own experience so far indicates that it is also a good state to work with. I know people who have adopted from CA and while CA seems to be rated "slow" they do seem to come thru eventually. I have heard good things about TX as well as FL and know people who have adopted from OH but the consensus there is it seems to depend on what county in OH. While I was not selected as the family I was working with a caseworker in the state of WA and she was great as well as a child in AZ that I declined on but that caseworker was great also. I would guess that like all states it may depend on which DHS office one is working with.
As far as things being complicated with out of state, I think that falls on the caseworkers in question and how familiar they are with the ICPC process. Mine experiences with out of state were not extremely lengthy but I also am fortunate to have an adoption worker who is very efficient and knowledgable..
I have in the past called caseworkers myself and some have point blank told me that they wouldnt speak directly with me and I have contacted others who were very cooperative. However, these contacts were very few as most of the time I get voice mails etc and no responses. The only time I have talked directly with a PA worker is when someone picked up their phone not knowing I was on the other end. LOL My adoption worker or her specialist do most of the phone calls but have never objected if I do so myself. I can tell you that if a caseworker called my adoption worker and "exploded" because I had been the one to make contact there would be no consequences for me but I truly feel the reaction would be for her to be as appauled as I would be at that type of behavior. I can tell you that I have never sent my own study but I am sure that if I wanted to do so that would not be a problem. I never worry that my study is not being sent each and every time I make the request. Quite often my worker or her specialist will call me and let me know they submitted my study for a child they discovered and I had never seen on a listing. I just the other day had a call from a worker concerning a child and had no idea who the child was!!! I managed to get thru it okay but was kind of taken aback. Not only that but I am also registered with AdoptAmerica Network and they send my study out frequently. I can only imagine the number of studies I have floating around across the country!!!! LOL
To all of you I would suggest everyone who can register with Adopt America. It is a great organization and they are very helpful. You simply go to their web site and you can download the paperwork you need to register then they will request a copy of your study from your worker and then you are assigned a specialist and shortly after begin receiving emails with available children. It is a great resource.
Thanks Carrie for the congrats on my match. I am anxious to bring my boys home and get started on making them feel part of the family. Waiting for the final paperwork etc is hard sometimes but not nearly as difficult or emotional as waiting to hear you have been selected and have final approval. I will keep you all posted.
Thanks again very much to the PA caseworker who has been blogging. The info you are relaying is relevant and helps to make sense of the whole process. I do have one question of you. If you could give advice to those who write the studies/profiles, what would you tell them to do that helps draw attention to what you are reading? Maybe some of us can utilize that info!!!!
Chmae
Hi fellow Pennsylvanian:
I've had the same thing done to me because I took the initiative and called the contact person. I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to call the contact person because it NEVER stated this on the PAE website or other adoption sources which I referenced. Like you, I didn't mean any harm; I was just excited to find children who may have been a match for my family and I moved quickly because I was eager to be considered. Unfortunately, our normal responses are taken as both abnormal and as an affront. You would think that a normal SW would be happy that people are excited about a possible match. Not so in PA. This is one of the many problems - the SW's don't want US contacting the contact person but then many of them are NOT contacting them either.
SW's chewing people out is another serious problem. It's unprofessional; yet, it's part of the routine. Sadly, those of us who take the initiative get "punished" for it. This is the result of no one in the child welfare system being held accountable for his or her actions.
I also find that while many of the PAE listings state, "All families will be considered," this is often NOT the case. I've been reading narratives for children from other states and one from Colorado actually says, "The SW is looking for a two-parent, Christian home for these children." Although I don't agree that a SW should be discriminating against families based on religion, at least you've been given fair warning and if you're neither of these, you can move on. Not so in PA. It's all too confusing and frustrating here. We don't know what we are or aren't supposed to do. Face it folks, the way PA "operates" makes no sense. In order to survive the nonsense, you actually have to seriously curb your enthusiasm when you find children you think will be a match and wait for the SW's to get to you, which will occur either when the cows come home or when pigs fly in PA, whichever comes first - LOL. Char
This is true.I really had know idea the the caseworker went back to my worker.Nor did I have any idea the the "higher ups" also read my emails to her and instead of them acknowledging them they also "turned me in".
My worker was nice about it but firmly let me know contacting the agencies myself is off limits.
It's a shame because I feel I would have been a great match for the child and I know now that my chances are slim.
I will take the advice of those of you here and look into some of the other states that are a little easier to deal with.
Thanks all for all your input.It fees like I have been "bashed"badly for what I what I am trying to do.Almost like giving up,but because of you all here and strength you give out it allows me to go on.Plus I KNOW there is a child out there for me.
Thanks everybody.
I would just like to know why, if we as JUST the potential parent, are not to directly contact the caseworker, why it is not specifically stated on PAE?? Why is the site set up so that JUST we who are interested in adopting these children are able to view the county, caseworkers name as well as the contact number. If it is such a disaster for the caseworkers when someone calls and inquires then maybe PAE needs to be set up so that we can simply see the child and the case number then make the other information available only to our adoption workers. On the other hand, that might just be something that makes too much sense!!!!!!!! LOL
Hi everybody this is my first time on this blog and I can't believe all the problems alot of people are having trying to adopt.I been trying to adopt for eight years and still have not been match.I have inquire about hundreds of children and get the same response we don't think you can handle a child with this many problems.I worked at a daycare with children who had special needs and a nursing home and I am always around children how do they know what I can and cannot handle.I just want the chance to be a mother.I am not able to have children of my own.If I could I still would have the desired to adopt children.I know SW don't like to place children with behavior problems with first time parents but how do they know if that family is not the one that is meant for them if they won't even give the family a chance.
Hi everybody this is my first time on this blog and I understand where you guys are coming from.I been trying to adopt for eight years now and felt like giving up.I have inquire for alot of children over the and keep getting the same respones we think you can't handle a child with these behaviors.What I can't understand is who are they to tell me what I can and cannot handle.I worked at a daycare with children who had all kids of special needs and I work nursing home.I am around children all the time.I know SW don't like to place children in first time parents homes but how do they know that first time parents may be the family for that child.I don't understand why it so hard people who really have the desire to become adoptive parents have a hard time becoming parents.I have inquire about older children siblings group and still haven't been matched.I talked to SW who gave me false hope they sent me pictures of children only to tell me we wanted you but at the match meeting they decided that child had to many behaviors.
I give you a lot of credit for not giving up after 8 years. We recently adopted after 2 years of the process. I searched every day on the internet adoption sites, registered with every state I could and connected every 'listserve' agency I found. There were many setbacks and disappointments and I found it to be very stressful. I made a lot contact with social workers - many of which were very informative and helpful. Every worker I talked to or emailed with provided me more insight to adoption. I've stayed in touch with some out-of-state workers even post-adoption because they were helpful and we formed a rapport. Many workers told me there was a child out there for us, we just needed to find him/her. I was encouraged/discouraged by that at the same time. But lo and behold, there was a child out there and now he's been with us almost 6 months. Maybe you can provide more specifics of your search process. I would be happy to help - it makes me feel like I am giving back for what was and has been given to us. Thanks!
Alabama,
As a previous blogger has posted the length of time a family waits for their placement is dependent on many factors. Even the approval process is dependent upon the number of inquiries that a county receives which impacts how frequently they may offer the preparation and selection groups. As stated by a previous blogger your child preferences has a great deal to do with how long you wait before being contacted. Our advice, if you have a specific question about something you’ve been told by a DHR staff person or another foster/adoptive parent, don’t hesitate to contact someone on our RRT or with the State DHR Office of Permanency.
Thank you,
Tiffany Anderson, RRT for Alabama
Hi anonymous thankyou for wanted to help I will take all the help I can get. I tried calling and talking to SW in Ohio,Texas,and many other states.I get e-mails from some SW and few phone calls they tell they will consider me but than I never here back from them.My caseworker tells me she gets phone calls from SW asking for my homestudy and she send it out to them.She is the third caseworker I had in the past eight years.My first caseworker quit her job, my second caseworker took a different prosition and the third one has been with me since may of this year she updated my homestudy.She barely knows me but what can I do.I am consider for a nine year old little girl in a different state from where I live and scare that I am going to be the child has to many behaviors and won't be match.I just want to know what I can do to get a match.I really want to be a mother and think I would be pretty good at.Anything you can tell would be very helpful.
We live in Virginia and are totally exasperated with the whole adoption process! When we first enquired about adoption, we were told that becoming foster parents was the fastest way to adopt. However, the thought of maybe having to hand a child back, would be too devastating, so we felt this was not an option for us.
We were then directed to an agency that receives a grant from social services for special needs adoption and proceeded to complete the Homestudy process with this agency. During the long process of completeing the Homestudy and then waiting for approval, we searched every photo listing available to us and found several children we felt we would be a good match for, all in other States. After receiving approval, our agency then informed us that we could no longer search out of state and that we were restricted to Virginia only. We were devastated. We'd also been told previously, that we wouldn't be considered for the "newborn programme" because we are not religeous.
We took a VERY active role and searched high and low throughout the state of Virginia and were fortunate to adopt and be blessed with our first child.
We now want to extend our family by adopting a sibling group. To do this, we were told, we have to re-do our Homestudy, interviews, finger prints etc. We were then told that we had to adopt at least one child of 9 years old or older. This doesn't reaaly affect us too much as we are now searching for children from 5 - 12 years old but we know it will have an affect on many of the people who sat through the training classes with us.
What I don't understand is why there aren't many children from Virginia on the numerous photolistings available on the internet and why the ones that are, are not updated on a regular basis. We have enquired about numerous children to be told they have already been placed.
Our agency keeps a book of photolistings of the children available for adoption (AREVA "Adoption Resource Exchange Of Virginia)) that we can view but our agency is a long drive away and with work etc it is hard to get to the office on a regular basis. Why isn't this book available to view on the internet like in most States?
Virginia seems far more geared towards foster families than adoptive familes and we feel a little cheated because of this. Social services push to recruit foster families and agencies such as ours push to recruit families for international adoption......who is pushing for us as an adoptive family, ready and waiting to adopt more children out of the system. Soon, we feel, adoptive families won't be needed atall, there seems to be so many of us just waiting...... and waiting
If SWs are so overloaded, why should they be the only ones who can contact the child's SW? They simply don't have the time. It makes much more sense for the prospective parents to do their own work in this area.
Don't count on your emails being confidential. I spent $3,000 on an attorney and related fees a couple of years ago, partly because a worker decided to use a couple of email messages that she didn't understand in an effort to discredit me. I won the case easily, but my confidence should never have been violated.
When a worker asks for parents of a certain religion, it is not likely to be discriminatory. The most likely reason is the preference of the children. Many foster families attend church, the children enjoy the church activities, and, therefore, want an adoptive family that also attends church.
I am also finding out that caseworkers (in my home state of Pennsylvania)who do return calls and emails do turn around and contact your worker when you call them directly.
They seem to be nice,helpful and you never know they do not want you to call them until you are informed by your worker.By this time I am sure(at least in most of my cases)they have ruled you out as far as being a resource family.
I agree with the post that says if the workers don't want us to call directly that the SW name and number should not be listed.I do not see why PA SW's make this such a big issue.ALSO to talk nice to a resource family and turn around a "tattle tale" behind their back is very unprofessional.
I think that many states and agencies are leaning towards foster to adopt and that is understandable in some respects as it is better for the children not to be moved from place to place any more than is absolutely necessary. However, I wonder too, what about the families who for whatever reason have chosen not to foster? This does in fact seem to make it more difficult on us and leave us somewhat in limbo.
I would like, also, to respond to the comments about religion. I absolutely do not have an issue with this IF a child is accustomed to going to church and/or is religious themselves. I do however wonder what it has to do with adopting an infant? An infant has had no previous experiences or upbringing thus could not be denied religion as a part of thier lives.
I am hoping that the caseworker from PA will respond with an answer to what makes a good home study. I know that mine is adequate and well written however, I do think in this process one needs a study/profile that, as one friend puts it, "pops". I read many comments on this site that say the caseworker seems interested and requests thier study and then nothing so cannot help but wonder if the study itself is poorly written or very mundane. It would not only be helpful for us to know what would indeed make a study stand out as when we review our own we could request changes but also for those workers who write them to know. I would suggest for those who are sending their study out regularly and not being selected that they review their profile and request changes as they see are needed. With computer technology these days it would not seem to be a major undertaking for a worker to add or delete something to a profile/study. I know that pertinet information cannot be omitted nor should it be, but I also know that somethings that are very simple can make all the difference. I know with one of my sons the fact that his oldest brother, my bio son, is in management at McDonalds really struck a chord with him as one of his fixations is McDonalds. Had my study said, "adult son management at a fast food chain" vs "adult son management at McDonalds" it would not have caused the caseworker or the child to be drawn to my study. In another case it was information about "car races" vs using the term NASCAR. It could be using a generic term like enjoys watching sports on TV may not draw attention but to mention that the family members are huge football fans may fit the bill a little better. Thus, just wording may make a huge difference when trying to match a child to a family. And, at times maybe a worker just paying a little more attention to detail would help. Saying the family is involved in "outdoor activities" is very different from stating that they are involved in tent camping or snow skiing as specifics. I think sometimes, because of the length of the studies, people have a tendency to cut corners to avoid someone needing to read a long family profile however if the "little things" are not included specifically it also does not relay a true sense of what the family is all about.
It would seem that all states have their own preferences but one thing for sure is that regardless of what state you are in or considering the process is slow and lumbering. All I can really say is that while the system has faults it is the only one we have and if we truly want to add children to our family, especially if we are not foster to adopt, we all just have to settle in for the long haul and wait. I know that it is difficult, especially when we are sure we can be good parents and we are aware that all the time we are waiting, so are the children. I also think that anyone out there who doesnt do the foster care route needs to open themselves to a greater variety of special issues as, lets face it, the reality is that the "good" kids and the "easy" kids are in fact being snapped up by the foster parents and arent out there for the rest of us. I realize that may sound crude, but it is reality. I once had a social worker tell me if I wanted to find children quicker that I should actually look not only at the children who had some very special issues but to look at the kids who werent so "cute". I thought that was a crude statement and I said so but when it was explained to me that people looking have the natural tendency to look for the cute little blonde-haired, blue- eyed kids and since in our society so much is based on appearances, no matter how crude it seemed, it now makes sense. If nothing else, it cured me from skipping past a child based on appearances and reading each narrative and basing my opinion on what I learn about the child not whether or not they fit societys "norm" of cute or adorable. Again, this is just human nature and we all tend to "shop" for what appeals to us based on appearances. I dont like to use the word "shop" when speaking about children, but it really is similar. I once had a foster child who was sitting with me when I was looking at children on the web site and we were reading about one particular girl and she asked "oh, can we order her?" as though we were on line shopping. I thought it was quite a funny statement and we laughed about it as I explained to her but it also made me wonder if the kids who are posted on these sites dont wonder who will "order" them. So widen your preferences and do as others have mentioned, like volunteering for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, volunteer at a local school or learning center, somehow get involved with children with special needs and I think that will in fact enhance your chances for those willing to take a child who could prove quite a challenge. If nothing else it shows a caseworker that you are serious about learning special needs and dealing with children in that category.
Chmae
We, too feel that as an adopt only family (not foster or foster to adopt) we are left to wait endlessly. And we are not looking for an infant! We are looking for a 4-7 year old! It seems the same everywhere (we are in Oklahoma). And we are also wondering if perhaps it is just not meant to be for us either.
This information about VA is incorrect. Our agency, Children's Home Society of Virginia, charges no fees for adoptions of children from foster care.
Thanks! Jane Hotchkiss
To the person who asked how the system works in Oklahoma:
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I don't know exactly how the system is supposed to work in Oklahoma but I do know the various stages we went through. The first stage is to receive the adoption information packet and fill out the enclosed form. The packet provides very little information about adoption, especially considering the amount of information you are required to send back, including social security numbers. Every person in the family has to get a physical from their doctor. We were told only the adults in the household had to get physicals but after sending in the paperwork from our physicals, we were told we had to go back to the doctor and have physicals done for our children as well. There were also detailed forms to fill out about what special needs the adoptive family would consider. At this point we weren't even sure we were ready to adopt and had lots of questions to ask but it seemed the only way to talk to someone was to fill out the forms so we did. After completing all that, we were assigned a social worker and given a list of all the paperwork we needed to send in. We had to send copies of our marriage license, bank account information, proof of insurance, pet shot records, our children's shot records, pay stubs, etc. We were also fingerprinted and had a background check run. We were then given a preliminary home visit from a social worker. She went over the house for any safety concerns. We were unable to ask her many questions about adoption because she told us she was just a temporary and "didn't really know much" (her own words.) Some time later we had three home visits from someone from a separate agency which was contracted to do home studies for DHS. My husband and I sat with her for several hours for each of the two first visits and answered a lot of questions about our family backgrounds, experiences, and ways of dealing with stress. She was a wonderful person and that was actually the easiest part of the whole process. At the third visit she basically just brought a few papers to sign and answered any questions we had. She asked us how we were doing in our adoption classes which was the first we had heard about them. Apparently our social worker was supposed to have scheduled us for them but she hadn't. After some calling back and forth we were finally able to get scheduled to attend those. We went each Saturday, all day long, to the classes for about six weeks. After that, we didn't hear from anyone for a long time. When we called we were told our home study was lost but they were looking for it. After many weeks, we called and were told it had finally been found. Some time later we called and were told offhand that we had been approved already. From requesting information to being told we were approved took about ten months. We are now approaching the one year anniversary of being approved but we can't get in contact with our social worker. We haven't heard from her since January. As I understand it, we are due for some updates to our home study but I can't find anything out about it. I tried contacting the main adoption office for our area but they just told me to keep trying to contact my social worker.
I hope some of that is helpful. That's the process in Oklahoma from the point of view of a very frustrated potential adoptive family. :P
I was actually told by my worker that if I wanted to inquire about children out of state, then I had to do it myself. But, all agencies ask for my worker's contact information. So, who knows if my information is getting out. What am I suppossed to do?
To Miss Hotchkiss,
I'm a little lost by your comment.....where did it say that agencies charge fees for adoption from foster care????? I think you may have mis-read the comment on Virginia?
I truly feel for the caseworkers in PA who are decent and professional. For the most part, including 99% of my experiences, they are not. Reading these comments furthers my belief that PA caseworkers can be non-responsive, unprofessional and rude. It is a shame for the workers who do not fit this profile though.
I have to honestly say that not once have I contacted a caseworker from another state who has become irritated or reported me back to my adoption worker. I have in fact had out of state workers give me some information and then let me know that further information would be released pending receipt of my study/profile but never one that complained to my worker because I took it upon myself to call personally. I have a much confidence that my adoption worker would probably respond in my defense to any caseworker who would complain about me contacting them.
The sad thing about all of this is that these situations could be easily avoided. Again, as I stated previously, PAE could list the case number and not the caseworker info so that we were only able to contact our worker who in turn could contact the proper people thru the case number. Also, it could also be posted on the PAE site that contact concerning a child has to be made only by a licensed adoption worker. This, again, would alleviate any incovenience we may force on any unwilling workers.
It seems in PA you probably arent going to be selected for a child unless you are a foster parent and you most certainly arent going to be selected if you break the "rules" and make the horrid mistake of inquiring about a child. Another thing that I have noticed is the few children from PA that I did inquire about on this site all came back with "reviewing all interested families". That is all well and good but how can a worker be reviewing my study, if I am interested, when the only response I have received is that is what they are doing. In other words, if I recall correctly, no PA worker has ever requested my study yet they respond with "reviewing all interested famiies". How can that be? I sometimes think we are being paid lip service as most of these children are already placed with the foster family, which is great for the child, or have a selected family so they are able to ignore the rest of us.
Again, this is a real shame for those workers in PA who are not functioning in this way. I think it is a shame for them also.
I found there were many setbacks in our adopt-only process. In reading this blog, we encountered many of the same situations and comments others have stated. After many disappoints, I thought I would give up. Here's some of what I heard while searching: don't expect to find a blond and blue-eyed "cute" child, don't expect a physically/emotionally healthy child under age 10, 9 out of 10 out-of-state placements fail, we're going to limit sending out your homestudy to only one a month, you can't be considered for more than one child at a time, we don't know where the 3000 (or however many) children available for adoption are in this state (where we live), we don't like to consider out-of-state families, you don't have parenting experience - consider fostering then you'll know the hurt the children feel, adoption will cost big $$, etc., etc. Well, we adopted a blond, blue-eyed, cute, bright, creative, healthy 5 year old from out-of-state - cost within the tax credit. I want to tell you to not give up - it's tough going through what you're going through (I know!). I just traveled the unbeaten path - do the same. Keep digging - you can find gold (in my case - a golden blond gem), a diamond in the rough. I hope this helps. Ask for more help, if you like.
Adopting from another state is almost not worth it. I am soooo discouraged with Vermont and do not recommend anyone from out of state deal with them! We were approached 4 months ago by a social worker there. They were seeking placement for a 7 yr old girl and wanted her placed out of state due family concern there. They didnt know anything about the out of state process at this point and often gave us wrong information. We have done everything they requested. We flew there (at our expense) to read the case files, meet the teachers and the little girl. At this point we found numerous discrepencies in her file that they were unaware of- like a different persons name on the birh cerificate than they believed to be the father. Two dates of birth etc.... Then, they came to VA and we were able to keep the little girl for the weekend. GREAT right? NO. The little girls foster family is moving out of state NOW and thats why we started this process in MAY. Well, evidentaly there is some sort of contract required between states that they didnt know about?! So here we are, school has started, in 2 weeks the stable home that the girl has know for over a year will be gone and she will have to be replaced in a new home. So, in order to speed things up we became cerified as foster parents (at VTs request) and now we are told the "contract" can take up to 10 weeks and we are at the beginning stage. The social workers are nice but, very uninformed. I have called numerous agencies there( and so has the foster family) trying to get this prioritized so that the little girl will NOT be traumatized any further. ( There is mre to the story). Well, no one from the commissions office returns my calls and when the foster moher called, her message was passed back to the original agency causing the delay. Meanwhile, this poor child is falling through yet more cracks. If 4 months inst long enough to complete "paperwork", than no wonder there are so many children in the system. I am so angry that red tape is keeping my daughter from her foever home. Four months have gone by and 3 more may before this is resolved. Thats 7 months that our daughter could be here thriving and healing. If you are an agency, learn what needs to be done (paperwork too) BEFORE you start th process and make errors and omissions that cause these type of problems
Adopting from another state is almost not worth it. I am soooo discouraged with Vermont and do not recommend anyone from out of state deal with them! We were approached 4 months ago by a social worker there. They were seeking placement for a 7 yr old girl and wanted her placed out of state due family concern there. They didnt know anything about the out of state process at this point and often gave us wrong information. We have done everything they requested. We flew there (at our expense) to read the case files, meet the teachers and the little girl. At this point we found numerous discrepencies in her file that they were unaware of- like a different persons name on the birh cerificate than they believed to be the father. Two dates of birth etc.... Then, they came to VA and we were able to keep the little girl for the weekend. GREAT right? NO. The little girls foster family is moving out of state NOW and thats why we started this process in MAY. Well, evidentaly there is some sort of contract required between states that they didnt know about?! So here we are, school has started, in 2 weeks the stable home that the girl has know for over a year will be gone and she will have to be replaced in a new home. So, in order to speed things up we became cerified as foster parents (at VTs request) and now we are told the "contract" can take up to 10 weeks and we are at the beginning stage. The social workers are nice but, very uninformed. I have called numerous agencies there( and so has the foster family) trying to get this prioritized so that the little girl will NOT be traumatized any further. ( There is mre to the story). Well, no one from the commissions office returns my calls and when the foster moher called, her message was passed back to the original agency causing the delay. Meanwhile, this poor child is falling through yet more cracks. If 4 months inst long enough to complete "paperwork", than no wonder there are so many children in the system. I am so angry that red tape is keeping my daughter from her foever home. Four months have gone by and 3 more may before this is resolved. Thats 7 months that our daughter could be here thriving and healing. If you are an agency, learn what needs to be done (paperwork too) BEFORE you start th process and make errors and omissions that cause these type of problems
I was speaking with my adoption worker yesterday and had mentioned the blogs concerning those of us in PA who have used PAE to contact a caseworker.
Her response, summarized, was that IF the caseworkers are not supposed to be talking to anyone except the adoption worker, why dont they simply state that to the person calling? Why in fact are they taking the time to talk with someone when they call if it is against regs? And, if in fact, all inquiries are supposed to be going thru a licensed adoption worker are not the caseworkers themselves violating regulations by engaging in conversation with a private party? If this is so, what would give them the right to make a complaint to an angency or worker when they themselves did something they are not supposed to do? Because they are caseworkers are they "above" the regs and consequences for not adhering to them while the rest of us are not?
Maybe what all of us who have experienced this should call the caseworkers supervisor and "complain" about the fact that while the caseworker did speak to us and did in fact give us information concerning the child(ren) not once mentioning that the information could only be released to the adoption worker!!!! As they say, "whats good for the goose is good for the gander"!!!
I think these situations go back to all of us who in fact have had experiences with caseworkers who have been unprofessional as well as rude and condescending when we have called. In fact, I have a much easier time dealing with someone being rude than being condescending!!! Still, there is no reason for either. And, how difficult or time consuming would it be for a worker to simply state " Thanks so much for you interest but it is agency policy for us to speak only with your adoption worker so if you would have them call the information could be discussed directly with that person?" Many wont do this but will take the time to speak at length with you and then turn around and complain to the adoption worker because we called directly. Seems there is something wrong with this picture. Thus, not only is calling your adoption worker and reaming them over the call unprofessional, they are being unprofessional by speaking to you in the beginning. Who is at fault here? Of course, my adoption worker herself has had the same complaint that many of us have, PA caseworkers seldom return a call to her either!!!!!!
We are starting our ICPC stuff for a little boy that lives in TX. We live in TN. Can anyone tell me what to expect? How long? What's involved? We have been told it will probably be a couple of months for that to happen, and then we can receive the little boys file. Has that been the average past experience for you all?
Thanks Jenni from Oklahoma!
It helps to know we are not alone. We have had all classes, have an approved homestudy (for over 2 months now) and have inquired about many children out of state (no way to even check on any in state!) We are usually told that they already have closed that child's case due to having many inquiries and the child had only been listed for a day. The others we get automatic email saying the inquiry was received but that's all we ever hear. Not sure what I can do to be more proactive IN STATE. No one has ever told us about the ICPC, what is it, how do I get one if I need one to even be looking out of state?
Still confused in OK
To Pessimistic Optimist
I think that 2 months would be a reasonable estimate for ICPC and the transfer to another state be completed. It only took about 5 weeks for my first out of state to be finished. What one needs to remember is that is a type of "marriage' in that the sending state as well as the receiving state is required to submit all of the necessary paperwork, then ICPC "marries" the paperwork and that is when they grant the request to move the child. I know that one thing that is strictly enforced is that until all paperwork is submitted and the child is covered either by private medical insurance or the medical card has been issued by the receiving state, the child will not be moved. I firmly believe that this is as it should be.
I would doubt very much that as long as your adoption agency has all of your paperwork in order and provided they are familiar with the ICPC process as well as the sending state that the process will take much longer than an in state adoption. The majority of the work should not even involve you but is done by the agencies who are involved. It really, in my opinion, under normal circumstances, is no big deal to do out of state. Of course once we know that we have been selected we are anxious to bring our new family members home and that may seem like an eternity at times but at least we know they are coming. It is worth the wait.
I am sorry to hear that another is having issues with an out of state adoption. I totally disagree though that it almost isnt worth it. If I had it to do again, I would wait months if needed to bring my wonderful sons home with me.
OH to let all of you know. On the 15th of this month I will be finalizing with my 13 yr old son. I am excited as are all the family members.
Chmae
Confused in OK:
I wish I could help you on how to be more proactive in state but unfortunately I have no idea. I can't even get in contact with my own social worker so even if I found a child on my own I don't know how I would get anywhere. I wasn't told anything about ICPC either. Good luck with your adoption journey!
Confused in OK:
I wish I could help you on how to be more proactive in state but unfortunately I have no idea. I can't even get in contact with my own social worker so even if I found a child on my own I don't know how I would get anywhere. I wasn't told anything about ICPC either. Good luck with your adoption journey!
Try to get a copy of your homestudy and send it out yourself. Also, register on the Adopt America Network (find it via an internet search engine). Hope it helps!
I feel as though I MUST add more information to my previous blog in re VT and VA. Yes, I am certainly anxious to bring my daughter home but, thats not the issue. The issue is because of continued mis information, the delay will likely be until November. This is not the end of the world and I as an adult can handle it. The problem is that the foster family my child has known for over a year is moving out of state. Vermont has NOT even started the ICPC. They would rather wait for termination of parental rights than pay another state. SO, this innocent child is yet again, being placed in the system. She will go to a new foster home, with people she doesnt know. She will be placed in a new school, where she doesnt know anyone and continue to regress. All this is deemed more important than paying for the contract. Thats just wrong. We were asked to become foster parents to speed up the process, which we did. However, now we find out that because we are certified through a private acency, VT will not acknowledge it. Had we known all these little issues months ago, we would have completed everything by now. I do blame the agencies. No mattr how informed we as perspective parents are, if we dont know what questions to ask, we have no coice but, to depend on our workers. When they make errors, they let down the children. And aren't they the ones who matter? YES! SO why is money more important?
Hi Kate,
We’ve been trying to adopt since Feb 08. It doesn’t appear we are making any headway. We have approved homestudies with SCDSS and AAN and registered with Adoptuskids.org. We are registered with AL, NC, SC, WV, and TX, VA, LA, PA. We’ve expressed interests for 16 children so far and only one came close. Our home state of SC seems least friendly of all. LA communicated very well.
At this point it doesn’t appear we will ever adopt and we are discouraged. It is difficult for us to hold focus for so long and not make any headway. At this point I wonder are we doing something wrong? Is our homestudy not acceptable? We are currently working with AAN Network Agency Partner: Adoption Advocacy.
We need some guidance and suggestions.
Hi Harold – You did the right thing by contacting us. We will help you. The adoption process can be discouraging but it is worth it! Please keep talking to us on the blog.
To VT
With the wealth of "mis-information" out there I cannot be 100% sure however, I have always believed and been told that ICPC will not allow a child to be moved unless TPR has been done. Rights had been terminated for my sons, who came from OR, but it was made very clear to me that since at that time there was still about 30 days left for the final appeal by the parents, that there would be no way my sons could leave that state until TPR was absolutely final. Possibly this was a reg by the state of OR and/or ICPC, I am not sure but I do understand it. I have also read comments on this site and others stating that the children were "legal risk" meaning that TPR had not been done and out of state families would not be considered as the child had to remain in their home state.
I think there are legalities involved that become extremely complicated when moving a child to another state when TPR is not final. I personally know that when it involves custody, the custody case has to be done in the jurisdiction where the child is residing. This happened to my step son. I think, depending on the state, what happens is if the child changes juridictions it becomes the responsibility of the new state. I am not sure that is what is going on with you however, it well could be. It could also be that the judge in the little girls case will not approve the move until TPR is final. I think that since there is always an appeal process and if the parent has in fact at any time indicated an interest or in fact fought the TPR that a judge would not be open to a move. I am sure that any of us that have done foster care for any length of time have had those moments when we were absolutely sure that there was no way the courts would return a child to the parents but in fact did. It may well be that in the future the child at a later date was in fact permanently removed but the parents were given another chance.
I would like to offer another way for you to look at this situation since the legalities may be the hold up. I feel for the little girl as well as you and it is a shame that she will be moved again but it could be worse. Just as an example, what if the little girl was moved with you prematurely and settled into her new home with what she thinks is her new permanent family and some legality made it necessary to then remove her from your home and returned to VT? You are an adult and willing to accept that legal risk but she is not capable of making that kind of decision. While I am sure the move will be difficult for her, at least she remains in her home state and will continue to work with the same caseworkers that she has had in the past. People who, even though she has a new temporary family, she is familiar with. Which scenario would do the least damage and which the most?
I am wondering if there arent legalities that you are not aware of. The State of VT is currently paying someone for her care so it doesnt make sense, to me anyway, that it would not pay another agency. If you are going to be recieving a subsidy for the child that also means that VT, even though they may receive some reimbursement thru Title IV-E will continue to pay out of pocket for her support. Placing the child in another state does not release the sending state of financial responsibility nor does it place the financial responsiblity on PA, the receiving state. Also, moving this child prematurely might also be just the legal snag that a good attorney may need to actually have good cause to fight the termination of rights. The parents if they have any kind of visitation or rights left could use this in court to try to regain custody of their child. And, what would it do to your family if she was with you for months or longer only to find out that she needs to be returned to VT?
My adoption worker is very experienced with ICPC and I am going to ask her to read the blogs here concerning this issue and see if she wont respond to her take on the issues. Since she is in fact in PA possibly she can shed some further light on the subject.
I agree that there are times when agencies mess up and that causes delays and problems for the children but it is our faulty system that is behind that. There are many agencies that seldom, if ever, do out of state adoptions thus really dont know what to do for ICPC or how to handle a situation like this. The great thing about all of this is when she does come to you and she is once a permanent member of the family and is old enough, you can use this whole experience to let her know just how hard you fought for her and how much you wanted her. Just another way for you to let her know how much you truly wanted her to join your family.
I am absolutely positive that you are correctly relaying the information that is being given to you which I know is adding to your frustrations however something just doesnt sound right about the whole situation. I would wonder if someone somewhere is not again mis-leading you to cover the real reasons the placement has been taking so long. Again, I have always been in the mind set that ICPC cannot allow a child to be moved unless TPR is final. Again, I might be wrong but sorry to say that considering the consequences to children and the families I think this is good policy.
Please keep us posted and let us know what is happening.
Chmae
I was just notified today that it will actually be at least 3 to 4 months before our pre-placement visits can start. I was certainly expecting it to be that long, due to reading some of the adoption horror stories, but I was hoping we would get lucky. Can someone explain to me WHY it takes that long for out of state adoptions?? I am trying very hard not to get discouraged, but it is very difficult when the date to even meet him seems to get farther and farther away.
To Pessimistic-Optimist
It seems like an eternity, I know, but the process itself is lengthy and filled with red tape. On the other hand, while anxious (and I was also) the up side of it is that you have been selected and you know your new child will be joining your family soon.
I was selected through a committee in April and my boys did not come home until the end of July. In my case, one reason for this is that while TPR had been done there was still some time left for the bio parents to appeal that decison. No one was expecting this would happen and it didnt, however, the state I was working with wanted it finalized before allowing my sons to move to another state.
I have learned thru this process that until the day your children are actually physically placed in your care, things can and do go wrong. I am not saying this to frighten or dampen the spirits of anyone, just that it is not uncommon. While meeting your new child seems like a priority it could be best in the long run for it to wait until everything is in place and everyone sure that it will happen. Imagine meeting the child and maintaining some type of contact for the next several months only to have it fall thru for some reason at the last minute. If you can imagine what it would do to you and your family, imagine how devastating it would be for the child to think he/she is going to their forever family and home then it not happen.
I know of a family that twice went to visit in two different states for pre-placement visits and neither of the placements ever took place. The time and money that this family spent to do these visits were then wasted. One is only reimbursed if the adoption is finalized. While this was not as much as a concern for them as not having the children placed with them, it added to their hearbreak and frustration. Reality is that until you speak or meet for the first time, the child in question is a picture and a narrative or case file. Once you meet them and they you, it is much more real.
Something that helped me thru the waiting is I started a journal on a daily basis. Basically I was writing down my daily feelings about bringing my sons home. I did one for each of them. It helped me to work thru the wait and the boys really liked having it when they arrived because it gave them a sense of everything I was feeling towards them joining our family. There were days when it was just a couple of simple lines such as "Though about you this morning and looked at you picture. Cant wait until I see that smile in person and can give you a hug". Other days the entries were a bit longer and a little more emotional. And, if your first visit wont be to bring your child home, you can always take the journal along and leave it with the child to read and hold on to until the day he/she does come to stay with you permanently.
To the person who is having problems in VT. I was wrong about ICPC not allowing children who are not legally free to leave their state. ICPC will allow legal risk moves however I did learn that I was right in that some judges and courts will not allow a child to leave until TPR is complete. I have talked with my adoption worker and explained to her that there seems to be much confusion with the ICPC process and moving a child to another state and asked her if she would mind reading the blogs and responding as to her experiences with the process. I dont know when she will do this but am relatively sure that she will. She did explain to me that all states have a certain pool of funds from which they can draw foster care/ adoption subsidy monies. She suggested that perhaps the monies are there to pay for the foster care rates but not there to pay another agency, as well as the foster care rates, to supervise the case while in your care. That in fact made some sense to me. In fact I just had contact concerning a child in FL and was told by the caseworker that FL did not have the funds to pay for the fees requested by my adoption worker (which I have to say were very reasonable) and that if I was interested in this child I would have to pay those fees out of pocket.
We are all feeling the crunch in the economy in one way or the other and I am sure that there are budget constraints with states also. Again, while I agree that the money should not be an issue when it comes to the well being of any child, reality is that it is something that those in the system do need to consider.
You are also dealing with two different states that have different laws and regs. These things need to be meshed together for the move to take place. It may be the workers involved have done out of state before but possibly not from VT to VA and who knows what that may involve from a legal standpoint? Here in PA we have almost 70 counties with each one having their own policies and regs so even within the state itself there can be issues. In the long run, it is difficult to believe that anyone working on your situation wants the child to go thru unnecessary moves or changes but it is something that just cannot be avoided. Again, I would wonder if in fact there arent some legalities involved that you right now are unaware of. I do take my hat off to you because personally I dont know if I would be emotionally able to take the legal risk that you are taking. I think it would take strength and determination to do so and I respect that. Maybe one thing that would be helpful would be the journal I mentioned earlier. A way for you to document your feelings concerning the process you are going thru and a way for your new daughter, at some point in time, to read and know what you were feeling on a daily process trying to bring her home. It could be that any damage that may be done by her unnecessary moves can be offset by her knowing all of the facts and that the entire time her new family fought and did all they could to avoid this for her.
I really am a firm believer in things happening for a reason even if we dont see that "reason" now. It well may be that in the future you realize the reason that this was a battle for you. I know that doesnt lessen your concern or worry for the child but it is that thought that many times gets me thru the day. I too am waiting to find out when I will visit with and bring home my new sons from another state. I do become frustrated at times and there are days when I just want to scream "why is it taking so long" but I weigh that against the life time of being with them and it does ease my frustrations somewhat. I was fortunate with my first out of state as two weeks after being selected I was allowed to start communicating with my boys by email and phone calls. When finally I did go to their state, it was a 5 day trip and we all flew home together. All of the waiting at that time, when we got on the plane together, seemed well worth it and it still does.
Chmae
I registered with AAN which is a fantastic network of people pushing to get children out of the system and into permanent homes, but if you live in Virginia and have been told you can't search out of State, then forget it. Not one social worker in Virginia, lists children on the Adopt America Network.
VA
I too am registered with AAN and you are right that they are a wonderful group of people looking to place children. They are extremely helpful, very informative and I recieve an abundance of emails concerning children needing permanent homes. It is a shame since it is such an established and reputable organization that Va does not utilize this valuable resource as well as any other state that doesnt. It would seem to me that any state that has children that needs placed would consider the children and be willing to use whatever means to find them permanent homes.
I dont quite understand the reasoning in a state not allowing people to do out of state searches and placements. I guess if the adoption process is state run and funded they would in fact limit to just that states children however, there are many other states that work with out of state placements. When it comes to VA is it a matter of absolutely not doing out of state adoptions or is there an option of doing out of state if the fees are paid out of pocket by the adoptive parents or the social worker involved is willing to do a contract and purchase of service with the other state? I am sure we would all like more info concerning VA. It seems that the more info one has the easier and less frustrating it is to search. I know just from reading this site and the information provided from all of you that there are certain states I no longer bother to look at as possibilities and while that is a shame that those children are being overlooked by many, I feel it is more effective when you dont bother to look in a state that you know will probably not bother to consider your study. It seems a waste of time not just for those searching but for the caseworkers who could be putting all their time and energy into placing children in their state only.
Chmae,
Congratulations on your pending placement!! I’m glad things have worked out for you and I’m really happy for the boys, their wait for permanency is just about over.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the information you are asking for about the breakdown of the adoptions completed in 2007. I do know that over half of the families registered on PA’s Adoption Exchange are wanting children that are younger and without any issues; those aren’t the children who are waiting. I also know that we have a number of families waiting who are wanting children over the age of 10 and I don’t know why they are still waiting because over 70% of our waiting children fall into that category. PA has recognized the problem and a new initiative was launched on July 1st to focus on finding permanency for the older children. The initiative has started with the families registered on PAE and wanting to adopt the older children. As for the workers who appear not to be honest about the foster parents adopting, I think it is more a case of the worker forgetting to put the child on hold when the foster parents finally make their decision. For many foster parents adoption was never anything they considered, their “job” was to help a child move on, move back to the their birth family system. Because the foster family didn’t say “yes” when they were asked, the agency is required by PA law to list the child on PA’s website – adoptpakids.org. During the same time that families are expressing an interest in the child, the foster family is processing the idea that this child will be leaving their family and for this particular child it doesn’t have to be that way. They start realizing they don’t have to go through the grieving process this time and they start thinking about what it would be like to have this child in their family forever and they make the decision to adopt. It is the same process other families go through when they are thinking about adoption but they go through it at a different time in their adoption journey.
If you should decide to continue to build your family through fost-adopt in the future, please keep in mind that you always have the right to tell a worker “no”. Like any other organization, the “system” - one that is overworked, under-resourced and crisis-oriented - will take advantage of resource parents with your array of skills and tolerances. I suggest you keep an eye out for the child that you would be willing to adopt and keep a bed open for her so if she becomes available you have room. Sue Zola, RRT from PA
Anonymous concerning worker contact,
Please focus on the professional consideration from the PA worker you received when you made the contact. I doubt if she “exploded” when she followed up with your worker, hopefully that was an exaggeration. It is also possible your worker was just having a bad day – no excuse for the behavior but maybe a reason – or maybe she didn’t realize how her tone came across over the telephone. Most PA workers are considerate and welcome the opportunity to talk about their children. If they believed it would be inappropriate to respond to a question they would say so. Having said that, who makes the contact with a child’s worker is up to your agency’s policy. Ideally, that information would be covered in the training as most families wouldn’t know to ask their worker that question. The workers ’contact information listed on the PAE site is for families to give to their worker to expedite the contact between the agencies – so your worker doesn’t have to look up the information. You should sit down and have a discussion with your worker about preferred practice protocols. If it is the agency’s policy that they make all of the direct contacts with a child’s worker, you certainly have the right to request documentation of when and to whom calls were made about the children for whom you requested information. Sue Zola, RRT from PA.
Char,
It is too bad you didn’t get a more thorough orientation from your agency about foster care and fost-adopt. Foster care refers to temporary placement while Children and Youth Services work with the birth family toward reunification. Foster parents do not expect to adopt the child in their home but open up their hearts as well as their home to the child because that is what the child needs. In some counties foster parents work with the birth parents, modeling good parenting techniques. It is not unusual for the two families to keep in touch after the child returns to the birth family. If the child’s goal is changed to adoption, foster parents will frequently make the decision to adopt. Fost-adopt refers to placements that are considered legal risk and while it will probably increase your chances of being able to adopt a younger child, there isn’t an “easy” way to adopt. As you know, families willing to do fost-adopt have the goal of adopting - if they don’t get to adopt the first child placed in their home, they hope it will be the second placement.
You are right, emergency placements are often made in the heat of the moment without much thought to long term considerations and with very little or erroneous information available to relay to the resource parent. Workers are not deliberately misrepresenting information as much as they are presenting what had been told to them – which is often wrong or incomplete. Unfortunately, when a worker is being pressed for a safe placement fast they don’t have the time to make the best possible match for a child and the availability of resource families with space is usually quite limited which gives the worker very few options.
The “Foster Parents’ Bill of Rights” that you are referring to would be the Resource Family Care Act of 2005 but it is the Resource Family and Adoption Process Act of 2005 that requires agencies to consider resource (foster) families for adoption of a child who has been in their home at least six months and the court has changed their permanency goal to adoption. Being a foster parent is a tough job. The child needs to feel they are part of the family for whatever time they are living in the home, and that requires bonding on the part of the adults and grieving when the child leaves. The process focuses on the needs of the child, not the adult. Adults can always say this is too hard and call it quits, the children can not. Sue Zola, RRT from PA
Please, is there anyone I can contact about getting an ICPC, besides my worker?
Frustrated
Hi Sue Zola:
Thanks for responding to my blog. In 2006, I did my own reading on foster care & adoption and the sources (books & state websites) I consulted ALL said that foster-to-adopt was the "easiest way to adopt." They also explained the legal risk part and I was prepared for the possibility that the children would leave my home if the bio parents got themselves together. But, in this situation, I was manipulated and deceived with a sob story and misinfo into taking children who should have been placed into a permanent foster home. These particular SW's said whatever they needed to say to get me to take in the kids. Everything on my application stated that I was interested in adoption more than I was in fostering. I don't think the SW's cared one way or the other as long as they had a place to put the kids.
While I realize that the SW's job is to consider the needs of the children in care first, it's ridiculous to be indifferent to the needs of the foster parents as well. Those of us who open our hearts and homes are human beings too and we don't want to be duped by uncaring SW's or unscrupulous agencies. When manipulation and deception serve as hallmarks of the foster care system, the country losses more resource families. Also, the penchant for callousness on the part of too many SW's in this country toward foster families is probably the reason why the number of people willing to foster has dropped significantly across the country in the past decade or so. Foster care SW's & agencies have to stop mistreating those they want and need to take in children and then expecting us to continue as resource families. Child welfare agencies need to rethink their negative attitude toward foster parents before they end up with no resource families at all. With the exception of TV, word of mouth is more powerful than any other form of communication and those of us who are being treated badly are telling family & friends who in turn tell their family & friends. Char
Your message has been reviewed by the Virginia Department of Social Services (VDSS), Adoption Program. We are sorry that you are experiencing frustrations with the adoption process as we do need families for the children that are waiting adoptive placement. A significant number of the families that adopt in VA have fostered prior to adopting, in fact current data indicates that over 88% of the children adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents. VA has a major focus to recruit families that will provide foster to adoption services. The good news is that a child may have experienced one less placement by being adopted by their foster parents. The flip side is that it takes longer to place a child with a family like yours that has not previously fostered him/her. We encourage you to continue to work with your agency to find another child whose needs your family can meet, as we do need adoptive families.
VDSS contracts with a few private agencies to assist local department of social services in VA to find families for waiting children. Effective July 1, 2008, several of these agencies have selected to work with children ages 9 and older as a priority to find them adoptive families. Unfortunately, this is impacting your family. We suggest that you continue to talk with this agency on how to best for your family to be able to meet a child’s needs. It is possible for the agency to assist you with placement of a child from outside of VA; however, this is not included in our contract with the agency and the agency may, therefore, charge you a fee for this particular service.
We are constantly looking for ways to update and improve our photolisting. The children featured on the websites are the same of the children listed in the VA photolisting book. Updates to the websites are done as frequently as information is available to us. Therefore, it is not necessary for you to drive to your agency because the pictures are on the website.
All families must have their adoptive home study updated when adopting additional children. Prior to July 1, 2008 adoptive home studies were approved for twelve months. However, effective July 1, 2008, the General Assembly passed legislation allowing home studies to be approved for thirty-six (36) months.
Hope this information is helpful.
Vernon Simmons
Adoption Programs Manager
Division of Family Services
VDSS
We're tired and frustrated.
We've been at this for 2 years and have had several severe set backs. We've had social workers flat out lie to us. The day our home study was accepted (as an adoptive home), we agreed to accept an emergency foster care placement of a 16-yr girl. The 3-days she was supposed to be placed with us turned out to be 13 days. At the end of the 13-day ordeal the SW told us she would now take our status back to Active. She had not sent our home study to any of the multiple inquiries we had made during that time, despite being told that would not happen. When we asked why, the SW responded that she did not know how the long the temporary placement would be, and therefore did not want to ship out our home study until we were completely free. This happened despite the Supervisor's assurance that this would NOT happen when we first agreed to accept the temporary foster placement. When we inquired to the supervisor, the SW lied and said she had not put us "on hold". In one case the state of Vt (we live in Mass)contacted us about a child. We put all our other inquiries on hold only to discover eight weeks later that the child's therapist had never agreed with placing the child out of state - in essence the adoption team was not in agreement on the placement. We were informed that the therapist did not have the last say, so we decided to hang in there, but then the SW changed the rules saying she wanted the child to meet and stay with us and then meet and stay with other families for several weeks, and then the 13-yr old child would make the final decision. We were outraged that this competitive approach could be employed when dealing with a child's and a family's emotional health, and ended that inquiry. We lost several months and a couple of very good match possibilities as a result. This latest incident has us wondering if we were ever meant to do this at all. We were matched with a teenage girl in a NH DBT program. Things were progressing wonderfully, but suddenly the girl decided she did not want to be adopted, and the process came to a screeching halt.
We always assumed wanting to adopt a teenager would be easier, but it seems every time we move down that path we are blocked by incompetent SWs or a system that puts too much power in the hands of unstable, immature teenaged children.
We are unsure what we are supposed to do at this point.
To Sue Zola Pa,
Yes, the worker did in fact "explode" to my worker, you were not there for the conversation.Maybe if you would have been you would be able to answer for me why this worker was in communication with me for MONTHS and finally contacted my worker and told her I did not have the "right" to contact her.
I have since moved on, allowing my worker to send in studies for me and trust me I will NEVER contact another worker.
I will try this with Pa but I will eventually move into searching ewlsewhere if I continue to deal with this type of worker
To Mass
Please hang in there because there are kids out there who need parents with the dedication and stamina you are displaying. I am not in your state but I think many of us, regardless of the state, experience much the same as you.
I do understand the concept behind allowing a child, particularly an older child, to play a role in who becomes their permanent family. I understand that this may well lower the disruption rate when the child is sure that this is who they truly want as parents/family. However, having been a foster parent to many teens in the past, I also see another side of it and while it may not apply across the board, I would like to offer my comments as food for thougt.
Kids, in general, are extremely bright and are expert manipulators. I am sure everyone dealing with kids has seen this in their own families when children go thru stages and play family members against each other etc. It is human nature. LOL Kids who have been in the system for any length of time can become master manipulators, from my experience anyway. I have learned they quickly learn the rules and ways to work the system. I worked for an agency at one time who when you "grounded" a child one was not permitted to even temporarily take personal belongings, thus if the child came with their own stereo, TV etc if they were grounded to their room they had plenty to keep them occupied. I have had these teens point blank look me in the eye and tell me that I couldnt take their music, etc and they would "tell" if I did. I also know of different foster children, again mostly teens, who for one reason or the other needed to be moved and during the interviews would intentionally chose the family that they thought they could get away with the most. I had one young lady tell me that she had chosen me because while she learned later that it was a bad call on her part, she had thought that I would be easy to work and it would be easy for her to get away with what she wanted to do. So in many cases I think that adding too many choices to the mix will create issues rather than solve them. One would have to wonder if the children were looking for the right family or if they are simply testing the waters to feel out who is the softest touch.
I also know from experience and foster teens who have expressed this to me that they dont want to be adopted and feel the system is a better place to live and dwell. Depending on the agency, state or county, there are many rules that agencies have for liability reasons that allow children some leeway that might not be permitted once they were adopted and no longer under the control of those regulations. Again, as a parent, when I grounded, I took stereo, TV whatever was entertaining so that the consequence was truly a consequence. As a foster parent I was not permitted to do so. I had a child once that was sneaking out at night and a habitual runaway but the agency allowed her to have her own cell phone that I wasnt permitted to "take" and every time she landed in some type of trouble she spent her time on her phone in her room as well as calling people to pick her up at night, etc because she was grounded and didnt want to face the consequences. Had it been legally my own child, the phone woudl have been locked away in the lock box so those opportunites were not there.
Many times, while not always, this is the type of teen that is in the system and waiting for a permanent home. Anyone who would believe for one minute when they are visiting with competing families that it is all to find the best fit, well, it may be the child is looking for the best fit for their own purposes rather than for the right purposes.
I also think that having been in the system due to neglect or abuse that most of the kids in the system are more immature than "normal" teens thus may not have the skills necessary to make such a major decision. I know of a family who had several good visits with a child and thought things were going great but over an extended visit the child was told "no" about something and when she returned to her foster home and then spoke to the caseworker she let them know she no longer was interested in the family. There were no further inquiries as to why she changed her mind and the family was simply informed the child had decided against them. It took quite some time to sort this out but it still never became a match. A lot of these kids arent even responsible enough to do their homework independently or make good choices in friends and yet the system is allowing them to chose a family.
Again, there are teens out there who are genuinely looking for a home with parents who will not only love and support them but who will discipline them when needed. For those children I can agree that some role in the process should be permitted and honored. There are others who should simply have the decision made for them based the same way as the decision would be made for younger children.
And while I also think this is unfair for the families involved, we are the adults and they are the children. I know of someone who is currently in this situation and while the person feels there is a bond between them, he does have concerns that there are other families involved and this is a constant source of concern for him. In this case it probably isnt true, but there may be many families out there who have become so determined or have fallen in love with a child that they are not able to just be themselves on visits but are possibly doing little things they wouldnt normally do just so that the child chooses them. Again, this is just human nature and possibly something a family would not even be aware they are doing. So while I do understand allowing the child to be involved in the decisions I also see another side to the side presented by the caseworkers. Just food for thought and not meant to offend anyone.
Sue
Your comments paint a very different picture than many of us have seen in PA. It is good to know that there are caseworkers in PA being responsible and professionl and that there are children being placed. I will take the advise given and if in fact do encounter any rude or unprofessional caseworkers report this to the proper authorities as I think it is the only way it will ever be corrected.
Still though, my experiences are mine and they havent been exceptionally good in PA. And, I am not alone. So short of just reporting the caseworkers who are rude or unprofessional, I am not sure what to do about those who simply do not respond in any way to inquiries. Again, when you inquire on a PA child on this site and the response you receive in return is "reviewing all interested families" and that is the only response, not "please send study" etc what is one to do? I know they are not reviewing my profile as an interested family as they have not requested it nor has it been sent as they have not requested it. Should we just inform our worker to send the study when this is the response? Again, how can they be reviewing all families when they arent requesting home studies from those inquiring? If this is simply a glitch in the system would it be that difficult to change?
Also, I know and I think others feel as I do, if I have a bad experience with a particular worker in a particular county in PA and then find another child in which I might be interested, especially if the caseworker is the same, I just go right past that child and feel like it is useless to even attempt to deal with that worker/county.
I guess I can see the wisdom in contacting supervisors or the state when something negative happens but I also know that if there are issues and you report them, when all is said and done you yourself become the trouble maker, simply because you stand up for your rights and that county/caseworker is not going to consider you or deal with you again. So I wonder what it will accomplish to take these actions?
I will say, to of all those workers who are doing their jobs and who are professional and compassionate, if you know of someone in your agency that is not doing so it is only harming the chances of the children finding placements if you turn a blind eye to it. I know this presents a whole other set of problems for the caseworkers, to possibly have to report their co workers, but if a person doesnt have the best interest of their children in mind, what service are they truly doing?
There is a worker for a foster agency that I had worked for in the past that has been reported for improper actions continuously over the past several years and the agency turns a blind eye to this every time. She borrows money from foster parents and the little sums she borrows seldom gets paid back but has borrowed large sums from one particular family that she pays back little by little but not before borrowing again. She intentionally has not informed foster parents of a court hearing so that they arent present because she seldom reports issues back to her supervisor or the C & Y and keeping the foster parents out of the mix is a way for her not to get caught up in this. She is extremely two faced and will literally lie and blame the foster parent for decisions she has made to save herself. I know of one family that went into a hearing and when they presented information, like the child setting their basement on fire, that the C & Y workers were caught totally off guard as it was never reported to them. Of course, she stated that the family never reported it to her. Needless to say the family left the agency and I would have too. She has been known to bring her own children on visits with her, not to mention claims she did a visit when she never did. Many times she has done "visits" during the day when the children are at school but has written down a different time so that she could do her work in her own time frame. When in fact she does get "caught" it is not uncommon for her to call the foster family in question and beg them to cover for her so that she doesnt loose her job. She has even gone so far as to buy items from a fundraiser of one of the children of a foster family and her check bounced. And, unfortunately, she has such a "way" about her that you as a foster parent get sucked in before you realize it and she then will elude to the fact that, although you had her consent to do something, that it isnt agency policy and she will in fact deny her involvement. So at first you feel for her and when you catch on to her the tables turn and you are fearful that she will indeed ruin you and doing foster care. This has been a long term pattern for her and again, the foster care agency just keeps turning a blind eye to it and giving her other chances. And, I have to say, the biggest issue I take with her is that she will say one thing to you and another in private to the foster child when you are not listening. She actually went to a foster child and told them to say someone did this or that and it would be easier for the child to be moved to another home as well as she could continue to be the childs caseworker.
I would be more than glad to speak to you about this matter and I know of at least two other families who will also. She is literally the reason I threw up my hands and quit doing foster care. Report to who? And even if you do the agency will continue to cover for her lest they be sanctioned or something by the state for allowing this type of thing to happen over and over again. And, while I cannot prove it, I do know for a fact that to this day, she will run me and some others who took issue with her into the ground when speaking with other caseworkers. How is this helping anyone?
Ms Zola,you are to be commended for your dedication to the adoption of children but you must understand that in Pennsylvania as well other states adoptive parents do face workers who are rude and very unprofessional, then there are those who are sneaky and dare I say under handed.
I being in Pennsylvanaia have also encountered a caseworker who was very helpful and for months gave me updates on a sibling group.When I questioned to her about why the gruop was being separated she "turn on me".
She also contacted my worker and told her I had no right to question why the group was being separated and told my worker from now on any contact to her would only be through my worker.All because I asked a question?????
To make it worse she still wants my study send to her again for further review.WHY?? I know she will not choose me now.
I am sure this is happening eleswhere as well.Then there are other workers how you NEVER hear from at all.
WAKE UP.....it is happening !!!!
While Florida may have a few problems with its system, I just saw a TV commercial they produced trying to get people to adopt. It used the "House empty? Why not fill it with children?" approach. Apparently, they are getting desperate. Maybe some of you would like to consider Florida.
Obviously PA has a problem. I just read a whole article that was in this mornings news (not sure if I could post the link or not) that said kids in PA stay in foster care way too long. I know that it's a problem everywhere, but to call a state out like that..wow! The percentages in the article were so high.
Just thought I would share.
to pessimistic optimist
What paper did you see this article in as I would very much like to read it. I dont think you can post a link but I am sure you can refer to the newpaper that carried the article. I would appreciate it.
Chmae
I read it on google news. It was from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, PA. I hope you can find it. Let me know if you can't and I'll try to help you find it somehow.
Vernon Simmons VDSS
I'm sorry but you are wrong. It is NOT possible, whether we pay or not, for the agency that Virginia Social Services directed us to in the first place, to assist us with a placement of a child outside of VA. They don't do "out of state adoption"....period. We weren't informed of this until after "approval"
If your statistics are correct and 88% of children are adopted by foster parents, then you might as well tell people such as myself not to bother wasting time by going through a private agency to adopt children out of the system.
I read a state by state fact sheet that said there are 7,022 children in foster care in VA. While I'm aware that not all these children may be legally free for adoption, there still aren't many of those children listed on websites. On this website, I search for up two children in Virginia only, 4 - 12 years old with mild disabilities, and only 6 profiles appear. If I put severe disabilities, only 34 profiles appear. If I do the same on the VA DSS site, I get 9 profiles for mild disabilities and 39 for severe. On the Heart Gallery, most of the children are either placed or placement pending. Where are the rest of the Virginia children?
One more question for you Mr. Simmons......how come the children whose profiles pop up when I search for mild disabilities also pop up when I do a search for severe disabilities
Sue
Please dont feel like you are being attacked for the faults in the PA system as I think we all know that you arent in control of that. We appreciate having your input and being able to see things from a different point of view.
I would like to present an example to you to again express the type of situation that some of us have experienced.
In August I had inquired of a sib group here in PA on this site. It stated "reviewing all interested families". I turned the information over to my agency and they attempted several times to reach the worker in question to submit my study but a call was never returned to them. I also made one call and left a message myself. A call was never returned. Thus, my study was never sent for these children due to the lack of response.
Now a month later I received a response on this site stating the children were placed with a non-relative family and the case is no longer active. I take no issue with that fact that the children were placed, in fact I am very pleased for them and the family that was selected for them. Even had I been in the pool of studies for these children I would not be upset or frustrated that I was not chosen for these children. I think the majority of us would feel the same way.
Again, the frustration lies in the lack of response. It doesnt seem to me like it would be such a major deal for a worker to return a call to my agency and simply state that she was no longer accepting studies for these children due to already having dozens to sort through. "Reviewing all interested families" leads one to believe that the children were available and that indeed all families would be considered. I am in that group of "all" however wasnt considered as she never had my study. Thus, the frustration with PA kicks in once more. I wasnt bonded nor did I have emotional ties to these children, they were pictures of two very cute children with a short narrative who needed a home, no more or no less. I simply think that this is a typical example of why people, not just in PA, feel that they are being paid lip service.
The way I see it is that while it really is a minor issue in some ways, with everything else that is "wrong" with the system here in PA and other states, the minor issues build up and then this one minor issue might just well be the straw that broke the camels back and cause a family to throw up their hands and drop out of the adoption process. I truly dont believe that it is NOT being placed in a hurry that is the cause of people giving up but a combination of the faults in the system the build up over time. Different people have different breaking points thus there may be people out there who are able to hang in there with this process for an extremely long time and those not so long. My point being that if just one family quits after a simple incident like the one I just explained, it is one less family not just for PA kids but for any kids that need homes.
People who are dealt with professionally as well as with respect and consideration I believe are much more likely to remain in the process than those who are not. People who feel they are at least making some headway in the process are more likely to maintain than those who feel like they are beating a dead horse. People who feel that their experiences and parenting interests are in fact valued are more likely to remain in the process than those who feel as if they are not good enough for those in the system. We are human beings and when one spends literally years in the system only to be rejected over and over again, you, as a human being, begin to doubt yourself and your qualifications. So if it would take just a type of form letter stating that ones study was reviewed and appreciated however you werent selected to keep just one family from leaving the process, then it would not be worth it.
It seems to me that all it would take would be to hire a person on an entry level position to address these issues if the caseworkers are too busy to respond. This person could be hired simply to make a call or send a letter. I in fact had this kind of contact with a worker in another state. A receptionist was designated by the caseworker to call me to request specific information along with where to send the information and when I had a question I relayed that to this person and although I wasnt selected, the receptionist in fact called me back and let me know my study had been reviewed and while they took no issue with me the child was placed with another family. I wasnt upset by this but was able to feel relief that I knew what was going on and able to just move on to the next situation. I actually appreciated the "rejection" in this case because at least I wasnt being ignored. So if simple fixes such as I mentioned can keep one family from feeling defeated and leaving their goal of adoption then I say that it would be worth these agencies at least exploring how they can make these little improvements.
I know it must be tiresome for you to hear all of the negative comments when it sounds as if your experiences in PA have been much more positive. Those of us who know the function of an RRT know that you are simply a liason and cannot determine what an angency does or does not do, however, when people keep reporting the same issues repeatedly and know that you are aware that these things are in fact happening, possibly it could be your knowledge of this and simply saying to someone of importance, this is what I am hearing, will in fact make a difference in the future.
Maybe it would be nice to have people blog their opionions on this and specifically state what they see as the faults in the system and what would make the wait less frustrating. For all of you out there who are frustrated, please answer this question What, if anything, would serve to make the process more tolerable and less frustrating for you?
I would like to know the answers to the questions above also. Those are very good questions, that I have asked myself several times. I would also like to know that why, when a child isn't available anymore, isn't that child's picture and profile taken off immediately? It seems to me that this would keep down the amount of unnecessary questions and inquiries about children that aren't even available. I don't know how many times I've inquired on children only to be told they are already placed. And here it is, several months later and those exact children's photos are STILL listed on different adoption websites!
The question that was also asked about "where are all the foster children?" or something to that nature, also was one that I couldn't figure out! Tennessee has, from what I have heard and read, a large amount of foster children. But only a little over a hundred are listed on adoptuskids, and NONE are below the age of 10, and there is only one that is 10! Is it really possible that Tennessee has NO young children available for adoption??
Hello TN:
Here in PA, there is a push to get all the children 10 and over adopted out of the system. At an event I attended in June in Philadelphia, a woman commented that the PA agencies are holding the younger children hostage until they get all the older ones adopted. Then, of course, the younger ones will become the older ones and the nonsense will continue. Also, some agencies are telling prospective adoptive parents that some of the older kids are "unadoptable." Could it be that the system, which holds them for too long, created these "unadoptable" children? The SW's also NEVER explain what they mean by the word, so you''ll never know whether you can handle their issues or not. Char
I would like to make a comment and hope that someone out there might have heard the same information that I have heard. I will not mention names of organizations but am beginning to wonder if the information I have received is not in fact true.
Recently someone contacted me concerning two children, both under 5, that were available for adoption. I had mentioned that I hadnt seen them on any web site and that if I had I would have remembered them. It was told to me that these children were not yet listed and that the caseworker had put the word out on them BEFORE they were listed hoping that she would find a home for them immediately as they had no major medical issues, etc. When I had mentioned being slightly surprised by this I was told that this type of thing goes on all the time and by doing things this way it frees up time for the caseworker and because the children are not special needs they dont need to linger any longer than necessary. I was also told there is a whole network of people out there used as contacts by caseworkers and adoption workers to do just this and that is why there doesnt seem to be an abundance of children of younger ages and milder issues.
If this is true then I think it is very unfair to those of us who are doing things the "right" way and waiting while others who happen to have the right connections are not. It may not be that they are doing anything "wrong" but it may be a case that KNOWING someone and falling into one of those networks can be beneficial.
I relly hope that somebody will answer these question.
Hi, just a suggestion....
How about a blog link for waiting gay/lesbian families? Their are TONS of us out here and there are certainly challenges when it comes to dealing with government agencies.....
Proud adoptive dad of 2 :-)
Hi All - Chmae here
To start wanted to let everyone know that I finalized with my oldest son on Monday so all of my kids here at home are "legal". It was a wonderful day.
Char, I can tell you my experiences as far as what a worker may mean when they say a child is "unadoptable". This I ran into not as much while being in the adoption process but while doing foster care and working in other capacities in the field. It could be something as simple as a child who is older who absolutely refuses to be adopted, which I just ran into when inquiring about a young lady. Unfortunately, for the most part, these are children with extremely severe issues that havent seem to improve over a long period of treatment. Most likely they are children with behavior issues that make them unsafe to be in a home setting meaning they could be a danger to themselves as well as others. These are children who have been so severely abused and/or neglected that placing them, even if the adoptive families were fully aware of their issues, could result in harm coming to the family they are placed with or harming themselves. They are children who were so severely sexually abused for many years and would present a danger to any other children with who they came in contact. Children who are so violent that they may be at risk of not only harming another, be it adult or child, but actually killing another person. I think many severe RAD kids might also fall into that last statement. It may be a child that from a very young age on has had a history of fire starting or some repetitive behaviors that pose a risk to families and communities. In these cases I have no doubt that the caseworker is more concerned with what will happen when they turn 18 and are released into society rather than finding them a permanent family. Most of these children I would assume are in some type of secure facility of some kind and probably the minimum and least restrictive environment they are in would be a foster home that is a step above therapeutic, I believe CRR (Community Residential Rehab homes) with highly trained foster parents. I think the reason people are not given options with these children is that given all the details about them, which cannot be released due to HIPPA, there are too many safety questions as well as liability issues to consider risking placing them in the home and community. I would think the majority of these children would be a little older also.
I think it is sometimes hard for us to imagine that a child of 12 or so could be past the point of help but it is in fact true in some cases. The damage done to these children at a very young age, sometimes infancy on, is so severe that in some cases they is very little hope that the child as an adult will ever lead a remotely normal life. It is sad but it is true.
There is currently a case in PA where many of these issues may well apply. I dont know if much will ever come of it but I will tell the story as I know it and allow all of you to be the judge.
About two years ago I was approached to consider a child who was coming from a family where the mother died and the father could no longer care for all of the children. If I recall correctly, there were about 13 children involved, all supposedly adopted. The "mother" and I use that term loosely, was on her way home from another state with another child when she had a heart attack and died. Fortunatley for that child, he was immediately returned to the sending state. She was 70 yrs old bringing home a 5 yr old child to an already dysfunctional situation.
A network of people here in PA put the word out on the children so as to attempt to place them without them again being in the custody of the state. Again, I was asked about one of the children but my instincts told me it was a bad situation and I declined and am now very greatful that I did. Some of these children were medically fragile, some were autisitic and others didnt seem to have any major issues. These people were also doing kinship care for their grandchild(ren??) so the local C & Y were regularly involved in the household.
As things were falling apart and being sorted out with the placement of the kids, there is a whole story that is evolving that easily could make national headlines if it ever came to the attention of the media. The mother of the children at one time was a very well respected director of a rather large adoption agency in PA as well as belonging to a several networks that were national. It appears and is assumed as facts are still coming in that somehow she wrote her own studies as well as represented herself and her husband to find these children. It appears that somehow she was even able to somehow forge her own supervisions. Again, all the facts are not yet known but it is also suspected that she represented herself as a worker who was picking up a child who was to be placed with a family but the child never got any farther than her home. Again, C & Y was involved with this family on a continuous basis and in the home.
I know for a fact that the one girl, who was around 14 at the time the mother died, had been "adopted" privately and from another state however the family in all of those years never went to court to finalize the adoption. It was this way as well with at least one other child. There were children who were sibs that this family seperated and placed out of state with other families during the years this was all going on. The reason for that wasnt immediately known but there is good reason to believe that it was done when the children became older and started to speak up about the abuse they were suffering in the home.
I know several people who in fact took children from this situation and the abuses they suffered are just recently coming to light. My understanding is that sexual abuse was suspected among other things and that this in fact was brought to the attention of C & y in the county in question but investigations either never happened or failed. I am very close to 2 different families that have a total of 4 girls from that family and they were recently evaluated by the state facility for sexual abuse and the man ( I refuse to call him a father ) that was married to this woman regularly and routinely sexually abused these children not to mention taught one of the older boys in the household to do the same. The girls have also stated that the mother knew, if not participated, in this behavior. It is my understanding that the state police are currently in the process of compiling enough information to prosecute this man and we are hoping that the boy can be found and at least labelled a perpetrator so that people are aware he could be a danger to other children. The information has been verified by the state police and has come from different girls who were placed in different families thus not likely that it was a fantasy on the part of the girls. Some of the other children were placed out of PA and there are others who were so low functioning that they will never be able to speak of what may have happened to them.
It is also a case of children being medically neglected. One of the children had a heart condition that needed addressed and the surgery would have been much easier done as a very young child but even though this family was aware it was never done. Another was to have several surgeries to correct physical abnormalities that should have been done shortly after birth but was never done. The list of neglect goes on and on but somehow these children fell thru the cracks and no one seemed to care.
Now it may be that one of the girls will need to be removed from her new adoptive home as it has been discovered that she has been perpping on another child in the home. While the family feels for this child and are trying to get her the help she needs they also cannot risk the well being of the other children in the home. It also makes us wonder if the other children who were placed elesewhere arent displaying the same behaviors and havent perpetrated in some manner and werent placed with unsuspecting parents.
The children were permitted to return to the house where they lived to retrieve personal belongings and reports are that the house was in terrible shape. Not only was it filthy but was sturcturally unsound with holes in the floors etc. Again, the county C & Y was actively involved with this family so why it continued on for so long is anyones guess. Perhaps it is another case of the worker saying there were visits but never went to the house or a case of this mother being so well respected due to her work in the field that it was overlooked. The girls all indicate that at one point in time they did in fact tell others that they were being abused and it was ignored.
Again, I dont know if all of the facts will ever come out in this case or if anything will ever come of it as the mother in question is dead. I pray that the man involved will be prosecuted and spend the rest of his life locked away so that he can never harm another child. I also am very hopeful that the county C & Y will also be investigated and sanctioned, if not some prosecutions made, if it is found that they simply turned a blind eye to what was going on in that household. And, as far as I am concerned, I truly believe that the State of PA has the duty and responsibility to investigate this situation thoroughly if for no other reason than to learn how this woman did what she did and got away with it so it can be prevented from happening again in the future.
I truly become frustrated with our adoption process and system at times and think that caseworkers need to lighten up somewhat but when you hear cases like this you have no choice but to understand the reason for all of the stringent rules and regulations involved. Even with those in place this happened. The lives of all of those children have been literally ruined by these people. The man involved still has contact with some of the children and remains very close to the older boy who has perpped on the girls along with his "dad". One can only imagine what is going on there. This young boy had no history that we know of being sexually abused until he came into the home and the man showed him what to do. My personal opinion is that the boy should not necessarily be prosecuted but certainly should be labelled so that people are aware that their children could be and are at risk of being abused by him. These people have ruined his chance at a normal life.
The faults in the system arent just in the adoption process. I am sure there are many cases of children being left in unsuitable homes that arent so severe to warrant media attention. Maybe the children werent severely injured or ended up dead in the care of their parents ( or even adopted parents) and we just never hear of those cases. I think truth be known that they are many more cases of this type than any of us are aware of and it is just covered up by the system. The faults are in the system in general and I dont think our government values our children in the same way they do other more important issues. ( I say that with tongue in cheek)
It should also go out as a warning to all of us who have been told about or consider adopting a child privately from a disruption. I wonder how many of these children would in fact have found another home if all the facts were known prior to the placements. And, with it being privately arranged and considering the background of the "adoptive parents" who knows what type of family these children may have ended up with.
And again, these 4 girls that have now been evaluated due to the legalities of this situation while not having to spend time in a foster home other than the families who were willing to adopt them remained under the care of the same C & Y and even though during their pre adoptive placements there were suspicions and comments made to the agency concerning sexual abuse in that household, by the parents as well as the children, it was still ignored. It was only the dedication and persistance of the adoptive parents that finally made it possible for the girls to be able to be evaluated by the state facility so the truth could be determined. It makes one wonder if the agency in question just ignored these allegations and reports so that the children would be finalized and not the responsiblity of the county for any length of time. The man in question may have never been found out and it is still questionable as to whether or not he will ever be prosecuted for the crimes he committed. And, while it might sound harsh, the mother is the one who got off easy as she was not found out by anyone until after she was dead and gone thus will never have to face the earthly consequences of her actions.
I really become tired of hearing how the caseworkers are overworked and cannot keep up with their cases. I would never argue that this is not fact and I dont blame the caseworkers in situations like this. I blame the state or county who is aware that the caseworkers cannot do their jobs effectively and simply wont bother to find and appropriate the funds to hire enough workers too handle the job. It seems to me that we are ignoring our most valuable asset, children, in lieu of things that really dont make a difference. I truly feel that there are many other issues that are being funded that could be cut back or eliminated for the sake of the kids. This simply isnt being done and we all need to take a stand and let our politicians and lawmakers know that it will no longer be tolerated.
Can anyone tell me if they have adopted from CT? Specifically if you have adopted or tried to adopt a child in CT and you were in another state
I live in GA and in October 2007 received my approved home study. I am still waiting to be matched with a child. My caseworker always seems to be overwhelmed and does not have the time to do matching and keep up with the families that she has. I have given her the names of several children over the past year and I get the same excuse for not receiving information on the children...she has left messages for the child's case worker but they don't return her calls. How can caseworkers hope to adopt out a child when they don't return calls or inquiries on a child. These caseworkers don't know anything about me or what type of child I am willing to adopt, I may be the perfect parent for this child, but they don't return calls to talk to my caseworker or request my home study. I am so frustrated and discouraged. I attend meetings where I can meet the children, pass out my information to caseworkers at the meetings, call my caseworker at least once a week, if not more and I still have not gotten anywhere. What else can I do? I know they say you can't take it personally, but there's is no other way to take it when you don't get any response. There are many, many families waiting to be matched with a child, yet these poor children sit in the system in limbo because caseworkers do not follow through. This needs to change. These kids deserve a permanent home.
BA
Re: "the caseworker had put the word out on them BEFORE they were listed": This is a common practice. It is one of the reasons you need to stay closely connected with your adoption worker.
Response to Chmae's tome re: 13 children in one home and abuse suffered there.
This is a failure of the system at several levels, but the front line responsibility for the children's welfare is the LOCAL CASEWORKER. The fact that they are overwhelmed is NO EXCUSE for failure on their part to follow through on such serious allegations. This case should have received top priority given the safety of so many children was in jeopardy. The local worker's negligence in the case you describe rises to being criminal. The out-of-state agency that placed the child in the home also bears some of the blame. Certainly the out of state adoption worker should at least have had a recent visit to the home and/or communicated with the local SW to discover the facts of how many children were living in the residence. That fact alone should have raised alarms that something was amiss.
This is gross misconduct by both the local and out-of-state agencies. Have adoption and foster-care agencies learned nothing in the past 50 years?
To Mike from Chmae
This has been an ongoing case for over a year now and I hesitated to bring it up before now so as not to falsely accuse anyone until the facts were in. My biggest fear at this point in time is that no one is going to bother to delve deeper into this as the "mother" is deceased and the children have all been placed elsewhere.
Somehow, and it is not yet clear how, there was no local adoption worker as it seems that this woman was somehow representing herself. It is my understanding that Child Services was involved with the family on two levels. On one front they should have been in the home as these people were doing kinship care thru the county for a grandchild(ren) thus under the same guidelines as foster care. Second, and I dont know this for fact, but there are reports that Child Services had also received various calls of suspected neglect, abuse and unsafe living conditions at this home that evidentally were not throughly investigated or not found as something that wasnt able to be corrected. I totally agree that someone needs to sort this out and that someone needs to be held accountable.
There were two children, one who is now at least 14 as well as another who is now 15 or 16 that came to that home as infants but were never legally adopted in all of those years. I do know that both of those children were supposedly "private" adoptions straight from the parents however when it came to placing them in their new homes their bio parents had to be tracked down and voluntary TPR done all over again for the new parents as this was never done in all of the years that the children were with that family. I agree with you also that the sending state, if in fact the state was involved, should have had a way to know that the children had never been finalized.
Of course the abuse suffered by these children is first and foremost in my mind but it makes me wonder how in fact these people were able to "operate" all these years without legal rights to some of these children. The children who were never adopted attended school under their "parents" names, collected SSI benefits and had the state medical card. I wonder how this was accomplished by them without the proper paperwork. I can only assume that it was somehow forged. Not only that but the "father" of these children continued to collect these benefits after the children were gone from the home, including the adoption subsidies from the states that the children originally came from. Oddly enough, as far as we know, this "father" is not even a US citizen.
I would like to say though, in defense of those who do have large families, that the simple fact that there were that many children in the household should not have been a basis for an investigation. I have friends and know families that have adopted large number of children and they have wonderful and loving homes.
Again, I am attempting to bring attention to this situation hoping that someone in PA will start asking questions as to how this happened. Not just how it happened that the children were being sexually abused and it was overlooked but how in the world these people managed to bring so many children into their homes? It was a blatant and intentional manipulation of the system I am sure. I firmly believe that it is essential that someone figures this out so that safeguards are put into place so that it cannot happen again. There have even been indications that the adoption agency of which this woman used to be a "director" ( although I am not 100% sure this was her position) did not have others at that agency involved with this entire fiasco. I find it hard to believe they participated knowing what was going on in the household and in my opinion was more likely a situation where the others involved believed they were accomodating a wonderful adoptive resource in this woman. I just dont know.
I also have heard from some fairly reliable sources that this woman in fact was doing home studies for other families that were used to adopt children and that those home studies in fact may not have been legal for her to do. This is not to say that the families were aware she was not supposed to be doing the studies however at this point in time who knows what was in her mind.
The new parents of these children are doing everything possible to investigate and see that anyone who knowingly or thru neglect or ignorance allowed this to happen are held accountable. However, it is my understanding that those in power are sitting on their hands insisting on it not being the fault of their agency. In other words, looking for scapegoats.
I cant express strongly enough that dead or not, this woman and what she did should be thoroughly investigated and while it may take much time and effort on the part of those investigating would be a worthwhile investment into seeing the future of the children involved receive the therapy and assistance that they need to recover from the abuse as well as making sure that this cannot happen again in PA or any other state.
Thanks for your response as I am glad that someone else out there is as outraged at this as am I. We cannot continue to sweep things like this under the rug.
Hi all:
I started classes to become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer this week. the other name for this is Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). I'm learning a great deal about the system and how the process REALLY works. Believe it or not, there is an effort to get a CASA for ALL cases (about 8,000) in Philadelphia because the CASA volunteer is the person who knows the most about the child in that the CASA talks to ALL the people who are on the child's team as well as the child, which sometimes doesn't happen when the child has an attorney or a caseworker who have other cases. The CASA is only answerable to the judge who appointed him or her and he or she gets access the confidential records so that caseworkers and others cannot hide behind the confidentiality clause. The beauty of CASA is that the volunteer not only focuses on the facts of the child's case but he or she also works on one case at a time until the case is resolved. Also, the CASA observes the child's life, writes a report, and is given the opportunity to testify in court. Unfortunately, some members of the team only want to focus on their piece of the child's life puzzle and are, therefore, more often than not ill-informed on the child's true situation. In other words, they only know the child's story from a limited perspective. The CASA brings together all the pieces of the puzzle so that the whole picture is revealed and a judge can make an informed decision which is, hopefully, truly in the child's best interest. More and more judges are leaning toward the use of CASA volunteers because, unlike everyone else, the CASA has no stake in anything except serving the child's best interest. I'm finding the class rewarding and I'm looking forward to helping a child get the help s/he needs. It's making life less frustrating for me as I wait for children to be placed with me. If you have this program in your state and you have the time, why not volunteer while you wait for your child to be placed? Char
Hi "Just a suggestion":
A blog for waiting gay/lesbian families was already posted on January 16, 2008, which is around the time this website started. It can be found in the older posts.
chmae: it's prudent - imperative, really - that you follow up with this case and notify your local cps officials. this case may never be sorted out but it's best to alert cps that you have this info.
Hi All
Kate - local CPS has known about this for close to a year now and are still not doing much to assist. It is the same county agency that was involved with the family while they were doing kinship care. It is the same county that had to go back and track down the bio parents to do voluntary TPR again so that they children could be again adopted. Now that it is confirmed that the girls in fact have legitmate and believable "stories" as far as the abuse suffered others are starting to get involved. It simply took some time for the girls to feel comfortable enough to speak out about what they went thru and that is understandable. I understand that one of the families who took some of the children have enlisted the assistance of an attorney and is going to begin contacting some people on the state level.
The children are now spread out, some in PA and some in other states so I am assuming it may take a little time for the state police to sort thru all of it. I am hoping that they in fact do a thorough job so that the man involved can be fully prosecuted.
Naturally the abuse suffered by the children is first and foremost in the minds of everyone however the county CPS involved seems to keep passing the buck. It is not the first case in which this has happened. I know of a child who claimed to be sexually abused (thru this county) several years prior to her speaking of it and when C&Y learned of it they sent her to the center (crc??) thinking this was an entirely new situation only to learn when they arrived that the people there actually recalled interviewing the child some time previous to that but the county had no record of it. This county is the county who originally sent her there for the assessmet. This little girl went for years thinking that no one believed her.
I will keep everyone posted on this and am hoping that if PA decides to ignore this situation I can enlist all of you to call or write their reps etc to draw more attention to it. I think there may be many people out there who would be totally surprised if they ever learn who this woman was and that she somehow abused and manipulated the system. This was a woman who from all accounts worked in the adoption field most of her adult life and was considered well respected. She was recommended to me at one time to do my home study but fortunately I ended up with my wonderful worker and not her. I am not even sure if she had done my study and/or assisted with placing children that it would have been legit.
Kate if you think you can help draw attention to this I would be more than glad to email you more info with names etc so that we can get the ball rolling on helping these children and making sure that no one can ever again manipulate the system as was done in this case.
Many things to say, and it is very difficult to read through all of these posts and answer everything. When I referred to the Family Profile/Study being good, I just meant good grammar and writing in general. Many times it is poorly written or talks about the negative aspects of a family. Please don't forget this is a document you are sharing with individuals trying to "sell yourself" to county workers. Most important to be honest so we can find a good match, but at least in my county, you just want it to get you an interview with us so we can meet you. Pictures are always helpful.
Regarding the last post, I just have to add one thing - the CASA and the GAL are two completely separate jobs. The CASA is exactly as explained. However, the GAL is the attorney that is appointed in Court to represent the child and their best interest. The CASA just reports to the Judge what is going on in the case and their opinion of the best interest.
And yes - we sometimes will contact families about children waiting to adopt before posting them on the internet. There are many "good" family profiles around our office. If a family is not selected for one child for one reason or another, why not see if they are interested in another child? Everything we do is CHILD BASED. Whatever gets them placed the fastest, if that means using our connections with affiliates, so be it. It is in the child's best interest to get permanency ASAP, not to wait for weeks/months waiting for a family who "might" be interested.
Oh - and Sue Zola is right on! I couldn't have said it better myself! :-)
-The County CW in PA
Update - I seem to have found a good agency in Florida. However, the kids that I was visiting finally told their worker that they didn't want to move out of the Tampa Bay area. I live about 150 miles away. The worker was very apologetic, as she had no clue, and certainly wouldn't have gotten me started with these kids if she had known how they felt. I'm just glad that they finally spoke up.
The worker is now going to "shop me around" to other workers who might have a match for me. She also has a very recent background check to send along.
Oh, well. I've been around this block before, so it's all quite familiar.
I have a question maybe someone can help me with.I am a newly approved resource family in Pennsylvania.The day before my approval I was called for a placement I had to turn down.Two days later I recieved another placement of 2 toddlers.It was an emergency placement but I feel the children may be there longer.The children came with NOTHING and 25 days later i have recieved no clothing allowance and little other help from the agency.Not even a medical card if the children get sick.The baby was sick the weekend I got them.
In the mean time I saw some children I would like to pursue with adoption but I am told that no county will consider me because of my foster care placement and because I have the maximum amount of children in my home, I must wait on the children outcome.
I am growing fond of these children but I don't think they will be up for adoption.
Is what I told true, must I stand the chance of losing other children as I await the long term goals of these children?
To ANON 9/23
First I would like to say that foster care regs in PA are 6 children in the home and that number has to include your bio children. Some agencies will have tell you differently but it is their policy and not the state regs they are quoting. In light of that are you still at the limit in PA?
Second, if your goal is adoption and not foster care in the long term then having foster children should not be a factor in finding adoptive children. The wheels turn slowly in this process. Most foster care agencies allow you to give 30 days notice to have children moved from your home. Most certainly if you were selected for adoptive children there would be more than ample time for you to give notice that the two children in your home need moved and for the agency to find another placement. If your agency and worker KNOW that adoption is your goal then they should be working towards that goal with you and not against you.
A foster care agency, according to state regs, have to be sure that the children in their program have a physical within 60 days of being placed unless the child has had a physical within 90 days of coming into foster care and that has to be documented by written records. Also, any child over 3 has to have a dental exam within 60 days unless they have written proof of a dental exam within 6 months of being placed in foster care. If the child does not have insurance or medical assistance in place before this time period is up it is the foster agency that is responsible to pay for the cost of these exams. As far as the clothing situation, your foster agency should have their own policy in place regarding reimbursement and/or purchase of the clothing.
I too was with a foster to adopt agency and while I did not want to do it that way was told it is easier to adopt in this manner. The agency I was with had a policy that the only children adopted thru their agency were thru their foster care program. They did not do matching or recruitment of families for adoptions other than the children who came thru their agency. I wasted nearly 18 months being mislead and again, I wasnt able to search for children as their policy was only 3 children, although they tried to tell me that was state regs but I knew better. Finally I had enough and contacted my current worker and within two years with her have 3 new adopted sons as well as should have 2 more sons placed with me within the next 6 weeks or so. My advice to you would be to be point blank with the agency you are with and if they are not going to work towards your goals but are just "using" you for foster care I would begin searching for another agency. And to answer your question point blank, yes you could be passed by on children for adoption while awaiting the decisions of the foster children in your home. If this is not something you are willing to do I would let the agency know now and move on to someone who will help you with your goal to adopt.
To Syrag I know you already know that I am sorry to hear that things did not work for you. I have been in that position and while I was able to lessen the feelings of being let down by stating that it wasnt meant to be it still was a difficult time. I know there will be good things for you in the future and am glad you feel your agency will continue to recommend you. And, you know I cant keep my nose out of anything so I will keep an eye out for children for you also. :)
Hi Anon of 9/23 @ 9:51 AM:
I'm looking for infants and/or toddlers, but I'm interested in adopting. I'm in Montgomery County, PA. What county are you in? Do you think your agency would want to move the children again? Have you spoken to anyone at your agency about the medical cards and food/clothing allowances? Most families, especially in these hard economic times, have difficulty paying for items for the children and need the subsidy to curtail expenses. A month is too long to wait for medical cards and a subsidy, especially if the children either get or come to us sick. Char
Hi syrag,
It sounds like the worker is trying to do the right thing by you. As I am sure you know, you can not always predict children (or adults). In addition to the efforts that the worker is doing to help find a good match for you, be sure that you are registered on AdoptUsKids, check the their site regularly, adoptflorida.org. and local "Heart Galleries". I hope this helps.
Bob
I would like to respond to the pessimistic optimist regarding the concerns noted in the blog dated September 11. I am part of the Recruitment Response Team for Adopt US Kids in Tennessee. There are two concerns as I see it: 1) Children continuing to be listed after they have been placed 2) The average age of the waiting children in our state. To the first I will say there are efforts being made to ensure the timely posting of and removal from the website. I can only apologize on behalf of our social workers for any frustration it has caused for those families who are waiting and desiring to help a child through adoption. To the second concern regarding the ages of our waiting children I will say the percentage of children under 8 or even 10 is very small or nonexistent. The way I have explained it to most families is to say that most birth mothers desiring to place their baby for adoption at birth typically go to a private agency. Because children in state custody have most often experienced some form of abuse, they are older prior to entering custody and then there is an extensive period of time that is dedicated to reunification with the birth parent or family. In many instances, by the time the parental rights are terminated and the child is actually ready for placement, they are older due to the combination of these processes. We do simultaneously attempt to prepare the child for reunification or and alternate permanent placement. However, this process in life is not dictated or determined always by the months on a calendar. They are case by case as it involves the complexity of human beings and the significance of permanent relationships. I hope this is helpful information though unfortunately, it does reiterate that we do not typically have younger children waiting for adoptive placements.
An Observation
It would seem there is a big "push" in PA as well as other states for foster to adopt programs. I understand the need for foster homes as well as why it would be easier on the children if they are able to remain in the home they have been in throughout foster care but I think there is another side to this also.
By doing this, as I understand some states will not do adoption only but strictly fost to adopt, could we not be actually forcing some people to make decisions causing them NOT to pursue adoption. For those who simply choose for whatever reason to adopt only, could they be consenting to do foster care only to find adoptive children with their hearts not really being into providing temp homes for children? If so, would this benefit the foster children in their care?
Could there be people out there who are adopting children they may not have chosen otherwise, outside of the foster care setting, because the manner in which things proceed in fost to adopt are such that they feel they HAVE to take the children in their care or face the possibility of never finding adoptive children?
Many children come into foster care as emergencies and there is in fact no way to know at such an early stage if the child(ren) will ever be available for adoption. There backgrounds may be unsure and it is a process in itself to determine the needs of the children who may be placed. Does it do any good for the children to be moved from foster home to foster home due to behaviors or issues that are initially unknown and then once surface cannot be dealt with by a foster parent?
In the meantime, many fost to adopt families, and I went thru this myself, are placed with children that we would not have chosen within our preferences but end up out of caring for the children keeping them in the home until they either reunite with bio family or are placed elsewhere. And that, as has been my experience, as the last poster stated limits the search for permanent placements as often an agency will not consider you for other children while these children are in your home.
If an agency is in need of foster homes what incentive do they have to help achieve the goal of adoption for a family when once the adoptive children have been placed more often than not the family is done with foster care?
Again, I know from experience that agencies will attempt to "decide" for you what type of child would do best in your home, what age, what sex, what issues etc. I was in a situation where I didnt want girls or at that time older children but was "told" by the agency I would do just fine with both. How can they even surmise that this is true when I was very clear on my preferences and they did not include girls or older children? So after being told if I continued to keep refusing to take girls that I probably would be overlooked for kids for the future and so as not to "default" in my fost to adopt status, I took girls. Then I am told by the agency that I have to stick to girls because they didnt want to mix the sexes in my home due to some behaviors by the girls.
Then regardless of the issues at hand with the children I did have in my home, when I would discuss moving them as I did not want or feel comfortable dealing with their behaviors I was always told "you can deal with it, just hang in there". How ridiculous as I was point blank telling them I could not deal with the behaviors nor did I want to attempt to do so. To add icing on the cake, after having two kids moved from my home for the saftey and well being of the family and themselves, I am told that my chance at adoption dropped tremendously because these requests to move the children were considered "disruptions". These children were foster children only and there was never a plan in place for me to adopt them nor were they even at a stage in the legalities of it all to be adopted yet I was "disrupting". Needless to say my search for adoptive children hit a wall due to finding out the agency only placed children who came thru their agency and did not match outside of their agency and wouldnt even send my study out unless they "approved" of the child I was interested in. To appease me and keep me on board as a foster parent I was told they were sending out my study but in fact they were not. I was told they would only send my study out for a certain number of children because having foster children I would be over the limit, etc. Very similar to the last commentor.
Well they lost a "resource" due to their intense desire to keep me as a foster provider and even misleading as to the process and attempting to "frighten" me into staying in the fost to adopt program by hinting that any other way I would never be placed with adoptive children.
All they accomplished was losing a foster care home as well as making me even more determined that I was interested in only adopting.
I almost gave up and went into the mindset that this wasnt meant to be but decided to try one more time. I found a wonderful small agency as well as great worker and since then have continued to add to my family with children thru her. I am forever greatful to all she has taught me. Asking for a foster child to be removed is not a "disruption" - there are children out there available that dont need to be thru foster care - etc etc.
I just sometimes wonder if the fost to adopt program isnt the cause of peolple actually leaving the system. When helping a foster child hinders your goal of adoption I cannot see that it is a good situation for anyone involved. If giving a child back is something that you cannot handle then I would suggest that you find an agency, for those of you fortunate to live in a state where that is possible, that is adoption only and that is willing to do out of state placements. Doing so changed that for me and my wonderful new family is proof of that.
Georgia Adoptive parent here...I can not get my caseworker to return my calls or e-mails. I have to call, many, many, many times and leave messages and send e-mails before I finally get to speak with my caseworker. I have inquired about many children over the last year and seem to always be told the same thing - she doesn't have any information because the child's caseworker does not return her calls. Am i wrong in thinking that it's impossible that all the caseworkers for all the chidlren I inquiry about do not return calls...The last time I actually spoke with my caseworker I was told she does not have anymore children that I would be a fit for (there are over 8,000 children waiting for homes in Georgia) and then I was told that because I am a single parent it's going to take even longer before I would be matched with a child. I have already been in this process for 2 years. What do I need to do to get someone to speak with me. I have always had a good rapport with my caseworker but just don't feel she is advocating for me and I can't get any information on the children on my own as she has my homestudy and will not release it to me to forward to other caseworkers. Please someone help...I need advise.
Carrie,
It sounds from your comment that you are inquiring about how long it will take until you will be able to adopt a child versus having a child placed for foster care. How fast a foster or adoptive placement will follow completion of the family profile/homestudy is dependent on the parameters you have set for the children you will consider. A child removed from their birth family and placed in foster care will have the goal of reunification and the focus will be temporary placement. Over 60% of the children placed will be returned to their birth family, including extended family members. When that doesn’t work and the courts change the goal to adoption, resource parents are asked if they will adopt the child. Such placements may become foster-to-adopt but they didn’t start out that way. If you are only willing to consider foster-to-adopt (legal risk placements) - meaning the parental rights haven’t been terminated although the expectation is the child will be adopted – your wait may be longer. Workers seldom know up front when a child is removed from the birth family which children will probably never return home and they are mandated to try to reunite the family unless there are aggravated circumstances .
One of the things that can help in your search for an adoptive placement is to attend matching events, both local and statewide. The children themselves are not at these events but you are able to talk directly to child workers about the waiting children on their caseload, even those who are not listed on the exchange because the parental rights haven’t been terminated. Attending these events also puts a personality to your family profile for a child worker. If you’re are not selected for a child currently on his or her caseload, the worker may think of you in the future when another child becomes available.
If you should decide to look at other states, know that children in the foster care system are eligible for subsidies through a federal program. You will probably have to pay some of the costs up front but most of the money should be reimbursed after the child is placed in your home by the child’s state of residence. For a family the process of doing out-of-state placements isn’t much different than doing in-state placements; for your worker it requires another layer of paperwork called an Interstate Compact. In PA if you want the option of looking at children from other states it is important that you ask an agency up front if they do out-of-state adoptions. A lot of the agencies do but you certainly don’t want to go through the preparation phase only to discover you are working with an agency that doesn’t support adoptions from other states. Good luck on your adoption journey.
Sue Zola, PA’s RRT.
Anonymous,
It can be frustrating – even for professionals - dealing with the county system in PA. While it is true that our 67 county Children, Youth and Family agencies (and, more critically, county courts) do things a little differently, they must all abide by all applicable federal and state regulations. They may apply a higher standard within their county but at a minimum, they must meet those regulations.
Both the Adoption & Safe Families Act and the Safe & Timely Federal Act require all agencies to consider cross-jurisdictional placements at all steps in the permanency process and they may not eliminate qualified families based solely on their geographical location. In other words, a child can not be denied permanency with a family because of where he or she lives. If a family believes they haven’t received consideration for a child or if placement has been delayed due to their geographical location, they have the right to a fair hearing. Agencies must respond “with reasonable promptness” to all appeal requests and states may be subject to financial penalties for noncompliance.
As for your allegations of discourtesy and lack of response from child workers, families also have the right to register a complaint with the regional office of the Office of Children, Youth and Families covering the agency’s area. However, for the office to do any meaningful follow-up action they need documentation of dates, times, names and the gist of what was said. Document all of your contacts with workers – and ask your worker to do the same.
I admit there are some county court judges who resist terminating parental rights until the child’s worker has identified an adoptive family. At the same time there are many prospective families who won’t consider a child who hasn’t had their parental rights terminated – who won’t consider a legal risk placement. Another reason a number of the children continue to wait is prospective families lose interest after they get the child’s confidential information and realize they will have to deal with more issues than they feel they are prepared to handle. Due to confidentiality issues very little information on a child’s issues is provided to a family up front in their write-up.
Still, families and children are coming together. A few years ago we had twice as many children waiting for permanency in PA than we do now.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA.
Frustrated,
It is not a legal requirement to register a child on PAE if the worker has definitely selected a family, especially the child’s resource family and the family has made a commitment to adopt the child. It is the act of listing a child in itself that may lead to the resource family making the decision to commit to adoption. A child’s leaving is often not real to a resource family until they see the child’s picture displayed and/or hear the child’s worker talking about other families for the child. Sometimes it’s the child asking why they won’t adopt him or her or the realization that the child really is bonded to them – and they are bonded to the child; that they are already a family. The timing can be problematic for waiting families but agencies really cannot do it differently since they are bound by statutory requirements. A good caseworker is working on more than one option at a time for a child – concurrent planning – so if the resource family doesn’t commit to adoption the child’s worker already knows of other appropriate families.
Regardless of the availability of the child, families have the right to a response from the child’s worker, either directly or indirectly through their own worker. Regional offices of the Office of Child, Youth and Families can’t do anything about the lack of response if families and their workers don’t document dates, times and names of their attempted contacts. An ambiguous “no response” will not help PA deal with the problem.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA
Anonymous,
I realize the adoption journey can be very frustrating for families. The focus in adoption is on finding families for the children, not children for the families. Some of the concerns you expressed are very legitimate. While it certainly would be easier for you if a resource parent was able to say “yes” immediately if asked to commit to adopting the foster child in their home, the resource family is usually behind a prospective adoptive family in their adoption journey. Adoptive families have already put a lot of thought into their decision to adopt before they even called an agency. Most resource families didn’t give adoption much thought until they were asked to adopt the child in their home. Psychological bonding, such as what occurs between resource parents and their foster child, trumps “matching” on paper anytime – and it should. We can’t punish children by removing them from the resource family and placing them with an adoptive family just because the adults changed their minds after further consideration and didn’t make a timely decision.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA.
Anonymous,
Not all child workers in PA are opposed to prospective families contacting them; and certainly not all family workers have a problem with their families making the initial contact to verify a child is still available. At the request of prospective families, the contact information for child workers’ was added to the PAE web site a few years ago. Families believed it would reduce the amount of time it would take for follow up contact on an identified child if they could give the contact information for the child’s worker to their worker along with the child’s name and registration number. It is important for a family to understand their agency’s policy concerning who makes the contact. This is something that should be gone over when all the other responsibilities and expectations between the agency and the family are discussed at the very beginning of the relationship. Agencies need to take the initiative in addressing this since very few families would even know to ask the question.
Sue Zola, RRT from PA.
Sue
Thanks for all the information and support. I would like to ask another question.
Are there routes one can follow if the foster care agency one is working with misleads or refuses to assist in meeting the goals of the adoptive family? EX: as was the case with me, I was pulled into an agency on the guise that while it would be much easier for me to adopt thru the foster to adopt program that they would also assist in finding a permanent placement for me. As time went on I was mislead over and over again and finally learned that this agency does not do any placements nor send out home studies for children other than those who come thru their agency. And, as many have posted at one time or the other, once you have foster children in your home and even if for good reason, it inhibits your chances of adopting even further if the agency needs foster homes and does not want to lose you as a resource.
I guess I am asking if you could let us all know what some important questions might be to ask a foster care agency before signing on with them to help avoid this situation as well as to help us from being mislead. And if we are misled even after asking the right questions what should we do to correct the situation other than leave the agency, which I think is difficult once foster children are placed as we are now committed.
For those who strictly want to adopt and not foster and since the wait may be long either way should those only interested in adopting just not strictly adhere to that from the beginning?
To Sue Zola,
Please do not be one of the people in the adoption field who does not recognize the "finding children for parents" side of the equation. It takes two to make a match. By helping parents find the right children to raise, you will also find the right parents for the children. Parents are not a commodity; they are human. By considering the desires and needs of the prospective parents just as seriously as those of the children, you will not only come up with the best match, you will also do it more quickly.
Hello Everyone,
My husband and I started the adoption process in March 2008, and we truly gained a lot from the MAPP classes and from meeting the other couples that were attending the training. Our caseworker is a wonderful woman and we like the agency we are working through.
I do have a suggestion though, although, I know that in reality, this will probably never happen.
I think that the agencies that serve the government in finding families for children in foster care, need to make finding families, a priority, and not the last thing on the list, of all the other things that they have to do.
Our worker said our homestudy would be done by the end of July. We are almost into the month of October and it is still not typed up. Because the worker does both foster care placements and adoption placements, the adoption process is always pushed to the bottom of the list.
This is not fair. It is not fair for the children who linger in the system, that the system claims cares about and wants to find families for. It is not fair for the families that are opening heart and home to bring these children in and give them what all of us "need", not want.
There should be a separate division in each agency that deals "only" with adoptions. Why should you have to pay 15,000- 20,000 to get that kind of service?
My husband and I are trying to hang in there, but we are getting a first hand view of the red tape and rhetoric of "we want to find a home for every child". If that were truly the case, they would make it their top priority.
The system needs to change!
We are from New York.
I would like to know what I can do to change this system. If there is anyone who can give us pointers on who to contact, we would appreciate it.
Rebekah and Nick.
I have to agree with the person who stated "it takes two to make a match". I also agree that we are human beings and not commodities. I take no issue with the needs of the children being first and foremost in the mind of everyone involved in the system however it seems that some people out there sacrifice common courtesy and respect and use that as an excuse. I just dont understand why we cannot be treated as human beings AND have the children and their needs/interests put first. That is all we are asking for. Our frustrations and dissatisfaction with the system is due to the manner in which we are treated and it is especially hard to swallow considering the "field" from which we are receiving this treatment. And, I will say to those who are commenting on the positive side for PA, reading all the blogs certainly seems to indicate that rudeness, lack of responses and "attitude" are more common than one would like to admit. I think you have to be on the "other side" of the issues to see the whole picture from our point of view. It is all the little things that we go thru that amount to a big issue for some of us.
I must agree with those who inquire why a resource family cannot have the agencies send out homestudies for adoption.I am a resource family and I have a beautiful sibling gruop whos goal is to return to the birth family.We are excited because the parents love their children and vise versa.They have worked hard to do EVERYTHING needed to get the children back.
In the meantime I have seen children I was interested in come and go and my hands are tied because all I can do is look.I am a first time foster parent who loves children but I am unsure what to do once these children leave.Part of me wants to have the worker QUICKLY send my studies in with the hope I will be chosen,but if I am chosen and I recieve a new placement through foster care,then what?
Hello fellow Pennsylvanians:
For those of you interested, DHS in Philadelphia is holding town meetings across the city to address the multifaceted problems it is having keeping children in its care safe. Mayor Nutter will be in attendance at the 1st meeting. The meetings are free and open to the public. They're even offering child care, so contact Donna Wyche in advance if you need this service.
The dates, times, & locations for the meetings are:
Weds, 10/1 @ 7 pm - 9 pm, Cozen PAL, 732 N. 17th St.
Thurs, 10/16 @ 7 pm to 9 pm Beloved St. John Baptist Church, 4541 N. Broad St.
Thurs, 10/30 @ 7 pm - 9 pm, Lenfest PAL, 3890 N. 10th St.
Weds, 11/12 @ 6:30 pm -8:30 pm, Compassion Comunity Development Corp., 6150 Cedar Ave.
This info was in the Inquirer
(9/27). Hope to see you there!
Also, Estelle B. Richman, the State Secretary of Public Welfare in Harrisburg, is "pushing to establish an independent ombudsman's office to handle issues related to children in PA's child welfare system." Yeah! Char
In approximately six States (Kentucky, Louisiana, Montana, New
Jersey, Tennessee, and Washington), prospective parents must be 18 to be eligible to adopt; three States (Colorado, Delaware,and Oklahoma) and American Samoa set the age at 21; and Georgia and Idaho specify age 25. A few States allow minors to
adopt under certain circumstances, such as when the minor is the spouse of an adult adoptive parent.
In approximately six States (California, Georgia, Nevada, New
Jersey, South Dakota, and Utah) and the Northern Mariana Islands, the adopting parents must be at least 10 years older than the person to be adopted. In Puerto Rico, the adopting parent must be at least 14 years older; in Idaho, the parent must be at least 15 years older.
"Who May Adopt, Be Adopted, or Place a Child for Adoption?" Summary of State Laws www.childwelfare.gov
you can still have a foster child placement AND be selected as an adoptive home placement. Only problems that we saw (which were minor) when we adopted our son and had TWO foster sibling placements in our home, was that he was FOREVER, they were not. However, it didn't seem to bother them that they were only going to be with us temporarily. Do not shy away from placements as you wait for your permanent placement. One statement one said just yesterday on a t.v. interview "Make sure that these children are not filling a need in YOUR life! You are there to fill the needs in THEIR lives!"
To the last anonymous post:
My agency WILL NOT even send in my homestudy to counties.The reason is " I am currently at my foster care limit" and "no agency will consider my home because of the numbers".
We all know that my foster children will be leaving soon but I can only"look" at the children.
If your agency allows you to do both,either someone is telling me wrong info or I am using the wrong agency.
To Wrong or Wrong Agency
I would like to say that I was in your position and while the agency would not submit my study when I had foster children in my home, there was absolutely no legal reason that could not be done. Again, your agency should be assisting you in meeting your goal of adoption and not using you as a foster care provider to benefit itself when it is not also a benefit to you.
You have the right to ask for any child to be moved from your home with a 30 day notice unless it is an emergency situation. I can see no reason your agency could not submit your study for the child(ren) you are interested in as it is a long process and when you are selected make other arrangements for the foster children. I realize that they want to move children as little as possible however it sounds to me like you were mislead and suckered into doing the foster to adopt program as I was. Your situation echoes the one I was in .
For that reason I left the agency I was with and went to another here in PA and while she does do some foster care, she would never have limited me to not sending out my study when I did have a foster child in my home.
How many children do you currently have in your home? You are allowed 6 by PA state regs but that has to include your own bio children. If in fact you dont have six then the agency has their own policy about the number of chilren you are allowed to have in your home, not the state.
I would just like to say that while I did very much enjoy doing foster care it got to the point where I was going nowhere on the adoption front thus I opted to wait with no children in my home until my adoptive sons were placed with me. After leaving the foster to adopt program it was a matter of about 14 months before I was selected for and on my way to adding 3 wonderful sons to our family. I truly regret the 15 months or so that I wasted with the other agency.
Just food for thought. That I know of there is no reason you could not be looking as well as doing foster care however the agency is probably in need of foster homes and is aware you wont be a foster resource once you find your forever family thus they will want to keep you as a foster parent as long as they can. It is the way some agencies work and they will stoop so low as to mislead and misdirect you. It is unfortunate as it gives the good agencies a bad rap also.
I would call any different agencies that you can and ask their policy. It is less time consuming to change agencies than it is to wait with some agencies that have this attitude and policy.
the issue is that the agency will not send the homestudy out while the children are in my care.without the study going out there will be no interested counties.
Bravo to those who are speaking out about the treatment received by so many of us. It truly is those "little things" that add up and become unbearable. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole, and sometimes the price of the whole becomes so expensive that loving, decent people give up and quit. Workers, please be ever mindful of the fact that we do not represent holes to put pegs in, but homes to put children in. Our desires are tantamount to those of the children, and therefore are an essential part of finding the best placement for them.
" Do not shy away from placements as you wait for your permanent placement. One statement one said just yesterday on a t.v. interview "Make sure that these children are not filling a need in YOUR life! You are there to fill the needs in THEIR lives!"
I would like to respond to the statement above. Most prospective adoptive parents and foster parents are opening up their home to children because they want to fill a need in the child's life. but, I think it is pretty niave or dishonest to say that that parents, whether biological or adoptive, only want to fill a need in their children's lives. Relationships are reciprocal. Most parents do not go into a situation of having children thinking that they will be like robots and just fill the needs of the other without an emotional response.
I belive one of the problems with this system, is that many of the individuals that work in it, treat prospective adoptive parents, like they are not human, that they should not get "worked " up about how they are treated.
Most prospective adoptive parents get fed up with the 'rhetoric" and cliches that are thrown at them.
And are fully of aware of when they are being condescended to.
There are the rare bad apples out there, that adopt for bad reasons, but "filling a need " is not a bad reason.
Rebekah
Anonymous-
I read your post closely and it sounds so much like my story.There are a total of 6 children now in my home so I understand that I will not be allowed more.Believe me 6 in enough right now.But I have missed out on about 5 children who I was really interested in and my agency says it's the policy not to send out studies when I am already at the maximum.
I have contacted Sue Zola and her response is very similar.
The children in my care are wonderful children,however their goal is to return to the birth family and the chances are good that this will happen,I was told in about a month depending on the circumstances.If they do return I think I will not do any foster care until I have been able to get my homestudy sent to the counties.
My foster placement was made the day I was finalized so no one has ever seen the study yet,so it just sits at the agency until the sibs return home.
I feel great that I have these wonderful sibs,but I know that they will be leaving me soon.I am also saddened that so many children that I was interested in are no longer available. It's frustrating........
I am getting so frustated with the matching process envoled with adoption.For weeks I been trying to be match with a child in Tenneesse.Everytime I call it is something new.The child SW told me she thought that I would be a good match with this child and she was going to set up a meeting with me,my caseworker,and the matching team down in Tennesse but something always happen.Last week she said she couldn't get in touch with everybody who wanted to ask me questions so she had to change the meeting to next.That day comes around and she some of the people on the team forgot about the meeting and some of them went out of town.Not only that but never called my caseworker to tell her about the meeting.I really feel that this child would be a good match with me and I don't want to give up on her but I feel like I just wasting me time with this caseworker.I live in Ohio so this would be an out of state placement can anybody tell me how long does it take to match a child with a family or how does it take to do an out of state adoption.
Hello Rebekah and Nick,
I can appreciate your frustration as the months pass. I am glad that you like your caseworker and agency and I encourage you to stay in close contact with them. Following up with weekly or bi-weekly telephone calls would be a good idea. As a foster/adoptive parent myself, I know the process can be very frustrating but the rewards of hanging in there for children who are waiting themselves is life-changing. Please don't give up! Please go to adoptuskids.org or call 1-800-200-4005 if you want help from us in the process or a sympathetic ear.
Regarding changing the system, we at the New York State Citizens' Coalition for Children advocate for foster and adoptive families and systemic change. You are welcome to visit the nysccc website.
Good luck to you!
Sarah Gerstenzang
NY RRT
Thanks Sarah,
I will definitely check the website out and call.
I read on this site that 90 percent of the children on adoptuskids will be adopted by their foster parents and I am wondering if we should even be going through this process then, because we are not foster parents, nor do we want to be foster parents. Could you tell me if you have heard the same thing?
I want to believe that one day we will have children to nuture and take care of permanately, but i am getting discouraged. I can't tell what is "true" information and what is exaggerated or blown out of proportion.
I do appreciate all that social workers do on a daily level and know that it is not the social workers that created this mess of a system. It just seems like there is nothing we can do.
I will try and be positive as long as possible.
thanks again
Rebekah
Hi fellow Pennsylvanians:
I attended the town hall meeting held by DHS commissioner Ambrose and Mayor Nutter. There are many dissatisfied parties trying to get heard by DHS. For instance, I spoke for foster/adoptive parents getting jerked around; some people spoke about foster children being bounced from pillar to post; bio parents spoke about having their children removed for no reason; current and former case workers/administrators/supervisors spoke about feeling "beat up on" by the public; and grandparents spoke about being "harrassed by the system" while trying to help their grandchildren. One grandmother said, "I want out of DHS because I'm tired of being harassed." The harrassment issue was big. I believe that Commissioner Ambrose is a sincere and honest person, but she has a job on her hands trying to rid DHS of its toxic habits. Mayor Nutter is committed to making things better for children in care too. Char
Well I am IN Tennessee and learning something new everyday. Our family was chosen for a little boy with several medical conditions, that we were fine with, that I had prior experience working with, and we totally accepted. Well when doing the ICPC thing, Tennessee turned him down. They won't let us adopt him! I was told that Tennessee is very strict on what children they let be adopted into TN from out of state. We are very disappointed and more than a little upset that no one even told us that was even something we should even be worried about! I can understand (I guess) from the states point of view....they think if we "got in over our heads" then he would be back in the states custody. But it's not like we've never been around people like this before. I am just so frustrated and ready to wash my hands of it all! We are really open with what all we will take, sibling groups and disabilities, but yet we can't seem to get matched with anyone! Needless to say, we are VERY discouraged.
To Anon from Oct 1
I think you may have to make that decision as to accept foster children or concentrate on the adoption. It is a shame that you would have to make that choice but it is a fact of this whole process. If adoption is truly your goal then do what you need to do in order to have children permanently placed with you. You didnt say if the 6 children in your home included any bio children but maybe what you could do is tell the agency you will take one or two foster so that you are not near or at the limit so that your study can be sent out for children you are interested in. Also, another option for you might be to go strictly respite status. You can help other families by doing respite but not put yourself in the position of eliminating the possibility of finding adoptive placements.
In my previous situation when I told the agency that I was limiting the number of children etc they in fact continued to offer me children and when I had turned them down several times they "hinted" that if I continued to turn down placements that I would be taken off their list of people to call. I felt like they were blackmailing me into doing something I didnt want to do. And, eventually, they did in fact stop calling and offering me children. I would hear all the time that they had kids they needed placed but I wasnt receiving calls. They just operated in such a way that I felt they were attempting to "punish" me for not doing what they wanted me to do and FOR doing what I felt was best for me.
If it ever gets to that point with you I think it is time for you to look into other agencies. I know a wonderful agency in PA that will not give you the run around and operates anywhere in the State of PA so there are options.
Thank you for the feedback.I have 4 children I adopted and the 2 foster children.Being that I was never a foster parent i did not know what the terms were and I guess because I was never really told I did not know what" high risk" meant.
I thought it was almost like "legal risk" where the children were a fost-to adopt situation.
I was then "wrongly" informed that it meant "short term-emergency care".
I now know that the children are working towards the goal of being returned to the birth family,which I feel would be best for them,especially the older sibling.I only wished beforehand that someone would have told me that by taking the 2 children, my homestudy would not go out to counties until the amount of children were down.
Maybe they never got the chance to say since the placement came on the exact day that my study was completed.I was literally approved in the morning and got the placement that afternoon.In the meantime, my study will remain in the office until the children return home.
Has anyone after inquiring about a child got a response saying "I'm interested in learning more about your family" please send your home study? The usual response we get is just please send your home study. I wonder if this is a general response from the caseworker.
Pessimistic - Optimist
Wow. I have never heard such a thing either. I dont understand why it would make a difference to TN in respect to his disabilities. Did you see anything in writing concerning the refusal? I would check further into the reason and make sure it wasnt a paperwork error on the part of one of the workers or something. Maybe you can contact the RRT for one or both of the states and see if they can get to the bottom of this. It just doesnt sound right to me. I am not an expert but just something seems amiss.
Hi again Rebekah,
Yes, you are right that most children adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents. But that shouldn't discourage you at all! There are over 9,000 children waiting to be adopted in NYS and more than 120,000 in the whole USA. Adoptuskids.org has more than 4,000 of these children photolisted so that families can learn more about them. Adopting from the foster care system takes time but it does happen every day. Last year, more than 50,000 American children were adopted from foster care.
We look forward to talking to you!
Sarah Gerstenzang
NY RRT
To the Two Georgia Families,
It is apparent that you are both having the same difficulty moving onto the next step of adoption.
It is unfortunate that you are not receiving the expected response from your caseworker regarding your search for a child. Unfortunately we hear this much too often and I regret you are having this experience. That being said, I would also add that both DFCS and the private adoption agencies are undergoing some real financial constraints during this economic time which has resulted in staff freezes and furloughs that ultimately affect the delivery of services. Georgia is one of the hardest hit states and the Governor is requesting another 4/% reduction in state agencies' funding. This affects adoptions/ foster care and the private agencies who contracts with DFCS to assist in finding homes for children. I would encourage you to continue to be diligent in your efforts but also have a couple of suggestions. 1) If your home study has been approved, it should be registered with the Ga. State Adoption Exchange which has the responsibility of matching the available waiting children with families. This enables you to be considered for children throughout Georgia that matches with the criteria you have identified. Currently there are approximately 220 children registered who are free for adoption without an identified resource. Most of these children are registered on the Georgia Photo Listing site "My Turn Now". You can review these children at www.myturnnow.com If you identify a child you can contact your caseworker but you can also contact the representatives at My Turn Now directly. Once you provide your information and the identified child, My Turn Now will notify an Adoption Specialist with the State Adoption Exchange who can send your study to the child's caseworker for consideration. 2) Once your home study is approved you can register on the Adopt Us Kids web site to identify children throughout the country. Under DFCS policy you may have a copy of your home study if you request it. This enables you to send your home study to another agency if requested for consideration of a child in another state.
Without more specific information it is not possible to respond more in depth. However, if you would like to talk further with and adoption/foster care advocate from Georgia you can contact Adopt Us Kids at 1-888-200-4005 or register on the web site www.adoptuskids.org and request that a member of the Recruitment Response Team in Georgia contact you for post home study support.
Again, thank you for your diligence and interest in adopting.
Sandra Milhollin, GA RRT
Anonymous,
Putting the needs of the child first has nothing to do with rude, discourteous behavior and certainly should never be used as an excuse for it. I realize everybody can have a bad day - even professionals – and sometimes we don’t realize that through our tone and body language we aren’t hiding it very well from others. Having a bad day is one thing, having a reputation of being rude and unresponsive isn’t acceptable. Rest assured your comments have been heard and are being discussed by a number of people in the administrative echelons. This isn’t a problem we can fix overnight but it is one that families can be their own best advocate. Documentation is vital. Without that it just becomes a “he said, she said” situation and very little will change. You need to document the times, names and content of your conversations with a worker. I encourage you to exercise your right to let the worker’s superiors know about the problem. If the worker’s supervisor isn’t responsive you can contact the agency’s director and/or the regional branch of the Office of Children, Youth and Families to register a complaint. If you can’t find the address/phone number for OCYF’s regional office please contact AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 and I can help you. Sue Zola, PA’s RRT.
Anonymous,
It is hard for someone just starting out on their adoption journey to know what questions to ask or how to evaluate if an agency is appropriate for them. It doesn’t help that many of the adoption and foster care agencies have both licenses and no longer fit into separate little “boxes.” Hopefully, I can explain the differences so the process makes sense to you – which is why AdoptUsKids established the Recruitment Response Team.
In the past, a foster care agency only did foster care and their foster families had to work with an adoption agency to adopt the foster child already in their home. By receiving an adoption license the foster care agency was able to do the family’s adoption work themselves. They are good agencies but their focus is on short term placement and reunification of the child with the birth family, not adoption.
At the same time many of the adoption agencies decided to get a foster care license. These agencies are different than the agencies mentioned above in that they have an adoption program and are very active in the networking and matching of waiting children and families as well as providing foster care services. In either situation, the majority of children in foster care who have their goal changed to adoption are adopted by their foster parents. Therefore, agencies are always looking for good foster parents.
My recommendation for prospective families is to decide if their real desire is to be a foster parent or an adoptive parent. If a family fosters long enough they will have the opportunity to adopt but they may have a number of children in their home who are reunited with their birth family before that opportunity arrives. For families who can’t decide or their real goal is adoption but they are willing to foster for a period of time, working with an adoption agency that also has a foster care program allows them the most flexibility. There are certainly some foster care agencies that also have adoption programs; in PA they are also on the list of adoption agencies being sent out to prospective families. Families only wanting to adopt can work with adoption agencies that only do adoption or have both programs.
As you learned the hard way, families willing to do foster care while they wait for an adoptive placement need to ask specific questions up front such as – will I be considered for an adoptive placement if I have a foster child in my home at the time and space is not an issue? A good source of information for prospective families is other families. They should contact their local adoptive parent and/or resource (foster) family support group. If there isn’t one in your area ask the agency for names of families you can contact. Families can also contact AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005 and I can help them connect with other families. Sue Zola RRT, PA.
Anonymous,
You are right, “people who are dealt with professionally as well as with respect and consideration . .. are much more likely to remain in the process than those who are not.” I don’t agree with your other statement that “it really is a minor issue in some ways” when a family doesn’t receive a response from a child’s worker – or any other adoption professional. Families have a right to know what is happening. Has a decision been made? Have I been selected? Is the child I wanted to be in my family going to be placed with another family and therefore will be okay? I realize that if a family doesn’t hear back from a child’s worker they will eventually assume another family was selected but as professionals we need to respect that families start the “claiming process” for a child when they ask to have their family profile sent and keep a spot in their heart open for that child for a long time just in case that child still needs a family.
Your comments and those of other families haven’t gone into some vast black hole. One of my responsibilities as an RRT is to let the “system” know what is working and what isn’t working for families in the world of adoption. So yes, PA is definitely listening and is aware that we have a problem. I appreciate that you have also put some thought into a solution to the problem. We are a county run system and not a state run system so the state can’t dictate how an agency runs their program. I’m sure if the state provided money for the agency to have a particular position dedicated to responding to families it would be a big incentive to hire that person but there isn’t that kind of money in the state’s budget. There are some agencies already using that model while others don’t have the resources. Still, your idea has gone on up the line for others to consider in the discussions about how to improve the adoption process. I doubt anything will be more effective than families documenting the dates, names and content of their contacts with workers. The documentation will help supervisors and agency directors hold their agencies accountable and provide families with the concrete information they need should they have to register a complaint with the regional office of the Office of Children, Youth and Families because the agency wasn’t responsive. I’m sure PA will get better in the area of customer service because there are a lot of people aware of the problem but it will take some time. Sue Zola, RRT from PA
My name is Adrienne Ewing-Roush and I am the new Adopt Us Kids Recruitment Team for the Tennessee area. I would like to respond to the comments from the pessimistic optimistic regarding their issues regarding Tennessee's denial of an out of state placement due to the child's medical condition. I would first like to say how sorry I am that you are having to face this kind of disappointment and even more, that a child continues to wait. It has been a few years since I worked exclusively as a case worker in special needs adoption in Tennessee, so I'm honestly not clear ab