Formal kinship care - the number of children living with relatives who are not their parents - has increased in recent years due to changes in law and policy. Informal kinship placements have been prevalent for centuries. The majority of kinship care providers are the child’s grandparents. Kinship providers who meet the licensing requirements are generally eligible to receive a monthly subsidy. Are you a kinship caregiver or are you considering caring for a relative? Let’s talk about the challenges associated with kinship care and maintaining relationships within your family.
If you are considering kinship care and don’t know how to get started, contact us at 1-888-200-4005 or info@adoptuskids.org.
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10 comments:
Why does this process seem so long and daunting? My nephew's daughter was taken at birth and we called to get kinship of her. She was born in early Sept, and we still do not have custody of her! They keep giving us the runarround! First we had to do the back ground checks and finger prints which was ok, but now they said we have to finish our courses and they've cancelled them three times due to not enough people enrolled! We are not even allowed to see the baby yet! I originally wanted to do foster care anyway and eventually adopt, but this process and them not returning my calls is very irritating and is making me rethink our decisions! Has anyone else been through this hastle? Does it all work out in the end or does this just continue to be a hastle?
Continue to do whatever it takes, don't give up. My experience is that many child welfare workers have the attitude that "the apple does not fall far from the tree" and they believe that they can find a better family especially for infants. At so many levels it is important to continue to fight, you will know the childs family history, health expectations and birth family all things that those who adopt can only hope to learn. Be patient but do what ever is needed to get the baby. I was unable to convence the VA county with custody of my great niece and nephew. My heart breaks each day and the children suffer while the caseworkers look for a stranger care family.
This seems par for the course for what we and many others we know have experienced. I also wonder if it will ever get better. We are only planning to foster so we are hoping for the children with us to go to their family who wants them, but it seems that the system dosn't care about that even though we were told in our training that they do.
I did kinship care for my teenage niece for close to a year while her mother tried to decide who was more important, her daughter or the abusing step-father. This process allowed me to get to know my niece a LOT better. My niece's attitude towards life (and grades in school) greatly improved while she was with our family).
Due to the poor relationship between my sister and myself (I just couldn't understand her justification of giving up her child for an abuser) things got very tense and my niece had to go to an alternate placement - regular foster care.
My niece is now back with my sister (and husband) and her grades and attitude are spiriling out of control. She is smoking, acting out sexually...the list goes on. I feel that the poor child is lost again and wish there was something I could do to help her again. She lives close so each time I see her I give her a big hug and let her know that I am available to her to talk about ANYTHING.
Kinship care is difficult but worth every bit of time and effort that is put into it. I just wish this had ended up in adoption or a permanent placement.
Thank you everyone for your input, unfortunatly it has gone from bad to worse. The agency sent a 19 page document to the mom telling her that I was the primary reporter, so now I am having problems with her, and she told them that she did nothing wrong that I was trying to steal her baby away from her, and they will not interview any other witnesses (There have been many that saw horrible things she did!), they are taking her word and are (supposivly) returning the baby to her this month. And she has informed us that we will never see her or the baby again. My husband and I are still considering adopting (we found a wonderful young man we would like to adopt) but this whole thing is making me wonder if I want to be involved in crooked processes........Oh well, I guess time will tell all.
It is too bad that anyone can have a baby and not have to take a single class or complete a pile of forms. BUT if you want to care for a child and surround them with love and attention- you are given the run around. However, I wish that more people would realize that you are NOT doing your drug addled relative any favors by taking on their child "so they can get their lives together" for the billionth time. You are providing them with a co dependant environment to run amoke in! Let their child go to a loving family and grow up far away from the chaos thier parents live in- and will continue to live in!They will drag you down soon too. They will not change! It is a co dependency you are perpetuating. Our foster child has not had a single visit by either parent since her relative stepped forward to become a future adoptive option. Why? Because the parents now feel they are off the hook- and have not shown up for their rehab or any other obligation it would take to regain their child! This poor little girl deserves a loving family away from them and that means away from you. You can attempt to take her, even though you wouldn't know her if you saw her. I wish you well. You will be taking her from the first family she has ever known, the first place she has ever slept restfully, and the first people she has called Momma and Da da too without coaching from us. Where were you when this child was wandering ther streets a year ago Auntie and Uncle? You had to have known the real deal - it was in the papers after all. Why take her now? I pray that she can forgive the state for having her taken from us, and that you can live up to the titles that she has given us. And sure we may have only had her for 11 months; but would a parent love a child any less if they had only known them for 11 months? Think about your true motives, and what it is you really want to do for the next 17 years of your life - at least! If you question your motivations at all - please leave her where she is- with us.
I don't know what your problem is, you knew when you signed up to be a foster parent what may or may not happen. Do you really think that people doing kinship are trying to help their drug affected family member out? Maybe they know that those drug affected members will never get their act together and want to keep the child close to other members of the family. Just because those parents are doing drugs doesn't mean the entire family is. My niece and nephew do drugs, but I don't and niether does anyone else in the family. We wanted to take their child because we were already attaced to the baby even before it was born, we tried to get them to get their heads out of their butts before they even found out they were expecting, but to no avail. Maybe I am different in thinking that instead of thrusting a child away from all family and placing them with unknown people they should be placed with those that care the most about them. As a child who was taken from her parents and placed with unfamiliar people who did eventually adopt me, I know how scary it is, and how upsetting it is to know absolutely no one and to NEVER feel like a member of that new family no matter how hard they tried. I would have rather been with my blood. This baby that I am talking about is actualy the last remaining member of my bloodline besides my nephew, and I will cherish her forever because of that fact. It takes someone that's been through it before to understand it all. And if you don't like the fact that your foster child is not being left in your care, stop foster parenting and try adopting instead. You obviously don't understand the entire system, and maybe you should take a refresher course. Just know that sometimes kinship caregivers could give a flying hoot about the birth parents, they only care about the children!
in response to C.J....yes as foster parents we know what is involved and what may happen.However a good foster parent will NEVER to trained on the emmotional attachment of a child when they enter your home and the longer the stay the greater the attachment may be.
I adopted 4 children, 3 of which had been moved a grand total of 70 times.Today those children ages 11,11 and 10 still face emmotional trauma.
I am also the foster parents of two little girls who may never return to the mother.i have had these girls for 4 months and now a family member has come forth.A family member who they do not even know.
When these girls came to me,they were not taken care of at all and had no control.
Today they have made a lot of progress through counseling and a lot of prayer. All who meet the girls say they are not the same little girls that they dropped off.
They now say,please thank you and know how to pray,little things we take for granted.
I realize they will be moved, however most foster parents do have feelings, if we didn't we would not be doing what we do.
I think it is unsensitive for someone to say" you knew what you were getting into" yes we do and we do it anyway.
we do it because we know we can make a difference and in most cases we do.
I am a foster parent and I have been fighting (yes, fighting) to get my nephew placed in foster care from birth in another state. I understand that as a foster parent we get attached to the children in our care. We are there to provide them a safe environment and to help them cope. As a foster parent it is essential to try to reunite the children with family whether it be mom, dad, aunt, uncle, or grandparents. They are their link to who they are and they can do a good job of taking care of them. It doesn't take much to get certified as a foster parent (I am military and have been certified in two states). Please don't assume that the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" or that the relative knew about the issues concerning the child. That isn't necessarily true. It is tough to let a foster child go. I have recently experienced the toughest one yet but he is with family. I got to know the family and even visit him in their home. I feel much better after getting to know them. If you are a foster parent please be supportive of family involvement and possible placement. They will want to know their family in the future or at least want to know where they come from. For relatives trying to get custody remain persistent. It is tough. I have been on both sides, as a foster parent I am treated like the best parent in the world and as a relative I am watched like a hawk. The system desperately needs to undergo changes.
TO CONTINUE THE DISCUSSIONS ON THIS BLOG . . .
go to the following blogspot:
www.adoptionproblems.blogspot.com
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