discontinuing the AdoptUsKids blog

A Message to All Who Have Used This Blog:

Thank you for your enthusiastic participation in our blog over this past year. The support that you have offered your peers and the insight you have provided to professionals has been invaluable.

We are discontinuing the AdoptUsKids blog effective immediately, now turning the efforts of our small staff to working more closely with the States and Tribes to resolve the systemic barriers that you, our bloggers, have helped us to better know and understand. Effective immediately with this posting, no new comments can be posted here, but the existing posts can still be viewed on this space.

We have heard and have learned from the concerns you have expressed about the challenges you have encountered as you have worked to become foster or adoptive parents, as well as the things that you have told us that work. After much consideration, AdoptUsKids will now work to translate what you have told us into action on a macro, or systemic, level. The staff who have administered our blog will add their efforts to those of other staff as AdoptUsKids redoubles our efforts to support States and Tribes to address concerns that have been identified in this space and by the University of Texas (Barriers and Success Factors in Adoption from Foster Care: Perspectives of Families & Staff. For a 15 minute video presentation and the full report on CD-rom, send your complete mailing address to info@adoptuskids.org).

We understand that your experiences with adoption and foster care are not always positive. If you are having difficulty with the adoption and foster care process in your state, please contact your State Adoption Program Manager or State Foster Care Manager. Their contact information is located at childwelfare.gov.

As we designed our plan to discontinue the AdoptUsKids blog, we researched other sites where you can continue your conversations, connect with your peers and seek professional support. Two that we have identified are: www.AdoptiveFamiliesMagazine.com and www.Families.com. Both of these websites link to blogs. Although neither is exactly the same as the AdoptUsKids blog, both offer information and resources that may be helpful to you.

It has been our pleasure talking with you on the blog! If you need further support or assistance from AdoptUsKids, you can find us at 1-888-200-4005 or info@adoptuskids.org. Our best wishes are with you all, and remember, no matter what stage of fostering, adopting or parenting you are in, You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent!

holiday feelings

The holidays can be an especially difficult time for those who have experienced a loss or disappointment or who are in a time of uncertainty. This is especially true for children who are living in temporary foster care and those who have been adopted and have memories of their families of origin.

Some children in foster care or adopted from foster care have painful memories of having been removed from their families at the beginning of a holiday break from school. There is strong documentation that reports of child abuse and neglect by school officials increase dramatically just before school breaks as caring teachers worry what will happen to their students whose wellbeing they will be able to monitor on a daily basis. Even years later, children who were placed into foster care around the holidays may experience mood swings and anxiety.

Keep these factors in mind this year and in the years to come as you parent a child who may have these memories and seek professional guidance – either by contacting an adoption professional or reading some of the expert guidance that is available.

Likewise, if you have been waiting for a child to join your family, the holiday season may bring disappointment to you. Perhaps you will be sharing a meal or party with others who have fulfilled their dream to adopt. Be aware of your emotions and prepare in advance for difficult questions or situations. Continue to remember that although the process may be longer than you hoped, we are here to support you.

If you have questions about the issues facing children in foster care or the disappointments you may feel, please feel free to contact us at 1-888-200-4005 and we will connect you with your state expert.

you don't have to be perfect

As you know, AdoptUsKids is dedicated to increasing the public awareness of adoption and foster care. Our work with the Ad Council to create and distribute our public service announcements is intended to encourage the public that "you don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent" - that although active parenting does involve appropriate, positive interaction with a child, it also requires the parent to "just be there" and provide for the daily living needs of a child (such as laundry, cooking, and relaxing together). This undemanding adult presence is very reassuring to a child who has never had a reliable family.

We'd love to hear from adoptive families whose journeys were set into motion by seeing a TV or print ad or by hearing a radio spot with the message, “You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent”

Share your stories here! Please tell us when you first heard or saw that ad, why it moved you to act, how you responded, and where your response led you.

We are currently working to create and distribute a new series of public service announcements focused on the large number of teenagers available for adoption in the United States. Look for them on your local TV station this November!

national adoption month

November is National Adoption Month, a month set aside to raise awareness about the adoption of children from foster care. This year's theme of adopting teens from foster care builds on the Ad Council's public service announcement (PSA) campaign "You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent. There are thousands of teens in foster care who would love to put up with you!" Find out more about National Adoption Month celebrations in your state at the Child Welfare Information Gateway website.

If you have questions, contact us at info@adoptuskids.org.

adoption by single persons

It is more common today than ever before for single adults to adopt and provide foster care for children. Although many singles have adopted children from foster care and are successfully parenting them, some agencies are hesitant to place children with single persons. Once the family profile had been completed, single prospective parents need to be proactive in following up with their caseworker. Be prepared to talk about the support services you have in place. Maintaining current training is also vital! Although single parenting brings unique challenges, it also is very rewarding. Let’s talk here about some of the issues you have faced or are preparing to face as a single adoptive or foster parent. Let’s also share resources and ideas!

If you are a single person who is pursuing adoption or foster care and have questions, contact us at 1-888-200-4005 or info@adoptuskids.org.

kinship care

Formal kinship care - the number of children living with relatives who are not their parents - has increased in recent years due to changes in law and policy. Informal kinship placements have been prevalent for centuries. The majority of kinship care providers are the child’s grandparents. Kinship providers who meet the licensing requirements are generally eligible to receive a monthly subsidy. Are you a kinship caregiver or are you considering caring for a relative? Let’s talk about the challenges associated with kinship care and maintaining relationships within your family.

If you are considering kinship care and don’t know how to get started, contact us at 1-888-200-4005 or info@adoptuskids.org.

adoption finalization

Although families are eager to finalize the adoption of their children, they also can feel apprehensive about the process. Although each adoption has unique circumstances, it usually takes about 12 months from the time a family first calls an adoption agency to the time when a child is placed with the family. Adoptions are usually finalized less than a year after the child is placed with the family. In almost all cases, you will need an attorney to finalize an adoption but not all finalizations take place in a courtroom. Your agency will be able to answer specific questions about legally finalizing your adoption. The National Center for Adoption Law & Policy is a resource for legal information related to adoption.

If you are a preparing to finalize an adoption and are seeking resources in your state, contact us at 1-888-200-4005 or info@adoptuskids.org.